A journey on foot is made of single steps. I can take the next step.
courage wisdom serenity
Thank you for the quote Chickadee, this is exactly what I need to remember and focus on right now! I CAN take the next step! I have to!
I've been avoiding this check list lately. And I feel very frustrated with myself because all those great promises I made to myself have just dissolved into nothing. I am meant to be exercising my knee because I had an injury a month or so ago - I am completely ignoring it. I have 2 essays for Friday on which I haven't done anything. And another for a month from now but that whole month I will be travelling. And yet all I have been doing this week is playing games, surfing the net or... I don't even know what. It's like I'm split in two halves - one part is just enjoying every minute of this whole abandonment and the other part of me just sits in frustration and feels like crying.
I have opened my text programme now.
And I will write essay one if it takes all night!
It doesn't matter that you haven't read anything, it doesn't matter if it's the worst thing you've ever written what matters is you get it done.
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't ~ Polonius (Hamlet)
I'm with you, Mansah,
I had the hardest time finishing college essays and especially that 120-page-thesis ... I loathed writing, I loathed my text programme, but then a friend told me, just to PRETEND to write something - just like note taking in WORD. And I started to take notes, without giving much thought on structure, logical paragraphs, etc. And I got it done ... grade wasn't too nice, as I only handed in those "notes", but I got it done and I passed, and it was a great relief. Of course I had planned to go over these "notes" before due-date and give it a little bit of a serious finishing touch, but due date came, and I didn't manage to make it a little more scientific and in the end - it was still ok!
For a day or two, this tool was funny and helped me a bit getting stuff written: http://lab.drwicked.com/writeordie.html
"if i feel guilty about my procrastination, i will get LESS done, if i dont feel guilty, i will get MORE done." - Clement
I think pretending is definitely all it can come down to now - and it's 'nice' to know I am not the only one going through it - and that there's a chance of blagging the things that are too late to mend.
And thanks for the link, I think I'll actually give it a try...
i can relate extremely well to the broken promises to myself. For 25 years i promised myself, again and again, that i'd turn over a new leaf.
fwiw, i dont make those promises anymore. Rather i just try to live this day, often this hour, or this minute, in recovery. I'd love to be a "productive person" but i just dont see it in the cards. I'm over the disappointment now, but i found that i just had to accept step 1 : "i am powerless over my addiction." http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/386
The good news is that has been the beginning of the recovery for me. I believe it will be for you, too.
Keep sharing your story with us--it encourages me to see other people who struggle, and who are making progress like you are.
the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
You're right, doing things by the minute make them a lot less terrifying... I just wish there weren't quite so many obligations that made the lost minute seem so fatal.
And thank you for the encouragement - it's good to know that others are dealing with the same problems and going through the same pitfalls and victories.
good luck to you Mansah.
I have a thread somewhere here about the divided will. For myself, i do better on backlog and scary projects if I say 'I'll just get the material onto my desk' or whatever...small steps. I am still struggling myself with avoided things and I shut down if I set my goal too high...
ByGodsGrace, I love, love your artwork! And I love Clement's quote! I put it on my desktop, if you don't mind ...
Thank you for sharing this!
um... that looks like something you'd buy, like a poster or tshirt or web badge or something. Nice work, byGodsGrace.
No wonder you clients are happy w/ your work :)
Just stopping by to see how everyone is doing and to say hi . . . busy day for me, mom was released from hospital so I've been getting her settled in at home, checking on Dad, and working in between. No time to procrastinate, and doing ok . . . take care all
Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. - Buddha
I think it is a great quote too! Helped me get going today in its meaning and to open design program, so 2 for 1! I was imagining it as a graphic for a CI thread.
Thanks for the wonderful compliment Clement - and thanks for being ok with my borrowing your quote! I laugh because when friends see something I do, the most common comment is, "it looks professional" which is funny because I am professional, or at least this is what I do (or try to do)! Probably because I work for myself from home.
Cant figure out the size thing though, why it looks fine in photobucket but bitmapped here. Maybe should reduce the size even more. I don't design for the web often, learning curve!
lol u are a professional. well, it shows. I mean, among the ppl doing something professionally, there are those who do it better than others.
I heard recently that png scales better on the web than jpg (i didnt even check what u used). I dont kno why or even if it's always true or a whole bunch of other things. Is it getting size-scaled here? i really dont understand when and where that scaling happens. I kno the img tag in html. But really probably no one cares what i kno.
had you heard the thing about png scaling?
Clement, you are too funny, I would bet everyone here cares what you know! Which is a lot! I knew of PNG format but not png scaling - which means nothing, as I know next to nothing about webdesign! I used save to web function and it chose GIF format - so am going to try as both and see which is better - good thing to learn! I also need to learn how to post things in the graphics for forum posts section for any future words of wisdom! Here is png small size
Hi Pro Buddies!
At work, near the end of the day, waiting for my boss to get something to me; which gives me a moment to CI :)
This morning I did a couple things at home before going to the gym. Then I did my cardio, ab workout, and stretching. At work, I did some projects this morning. I got take-out at lunch. This afternoon I pre-sorted some things, then asked my boss about them. I might have to stay a little late, depending on when my boss gets a detail to me.
Tonight I need to do an errand, then will have my 12-step meeting, so I'm not sure if I will get to update my CI later.
9:35pm. I'm back from my 12-step meeting, and I've also emailed a friend. I need to turn something over to my Higher Power. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.
Have a great night, everyone! :)
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
Yesterday you wrote:
<<<One hour a day in the middle of the day for all administrative cleaning up tasks. (There are several of these; each of them is time limited to 6, 12 or 18 minutes). >>>
Is there a logic for the 6-12-18? I don't have much luck adhering to 5-10-15 time limits so I'm wondering if those time-segments work better for some reason.
i asked GS the same question and it's from tenths of hours from a billing phenomena, from some business thing i forget. 6 min = 0.1 hrs. 12min = 0.2 hrs, etc.
Hi, group. I created the possibility of powerful contribution today - and now I'm on the receiving end! So many good ideas from recent shares here...thanks to all.
Today I will use timers, music, and the ESH of fellow PAers. With God's help, I will call 4 more Onsites, file a powerful AP report, and begin assembling the pieces for an awesome AP scrapbook. I will set and communicate my deadlines for the new CD and webinars, email my evals to CL, and write/mail authentic appreciation to some fabulous people I've worked the last few weeks.
On the personal front: I will call Mom, create a new structure for remembering to call her daily now that she is living at my sister's house instead of her own (they keep a different schedule so our former 8:30 a.m. daily call doesn't work for them), send some love-notes to family and frirends, and resynch the laptop/pda (and hope it gets rid of the bazilllion spams from the pda provider!). I will also, with God's help, make an AA meeting tonight.
Already done for today: personal stuff, sponsor/sponsee calls, work-related emails, 1-hour webinar, planned the day; now catching up on PA.
2. buy grocerries
3. post icici letter
4. drop cheque in the box
5. send resumes.
6. pile all dvds in a box and put it in the closet on the top or bottom
7. find out about cosa's check
8. fill in Malatests security clearance
9. clothes and clean up closets.
10. update all logs.
i ended up doing only 1 of the 1o things I intended to do! i need to start using the chat box more to get real about my problem with procrastiantion!
am surprised by the extent of procrastination in my life. have never thought of it as "disease". but the more I think of it, the more it becomes apparent that this has been a huge issue in my life.
its overwhelming even to think about it..........
I've actually been up and in my home office for 2-plus hours. There's been nothing urgent and as a result I spent a lot of time reading stuff that came in this AM (email newsletters etc.) that I often let go completely. And I've dealt with a variety of other non-essential items.
My task pad is very long today.
MIT#1: Review the list and see what can be deferred.
MIT#2: Do something with each remaining item.
This was a very unproductive day.
Tomorrow I am out all day. I hope it will be more productive.
The Hero's Code:
Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.
Read one ll article (done)
Info req Write
Find out date on arb (done)
prep for 4 meeting
Follow up pq w/d jn gr (done)
review draft of memo (done)
Relax watch show with boyfriend
First off, thanks to everyone for the very helpful support yesterday as I was feeling down. I got a lot done as a result of simply turning off my internet connection. While this solution wont work all the time, I'm gonna try it as much as possible. The internet after all is my drug of choice in my procrastination.
So, For today:
-Refer to Internet ToDo list and complete items
-After finishing turn off and take a walk
-Start w/ writing T3 report
-write until 5p w/ no Internet!!!
Dear God, grant me the strength to follow through with what I have set out for myself.
today is a new day, i can take a step
Word and prayer for the day: Matthew 11:28-29 cev
“If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest. Take the yoke I give you.Put it on your shoulders and learn from me. I am gentle and humble, and you will find rest.”
Music: Crystal Lewis, Lakewood
My to do list: MIT… lists/planning
planning for week, month, 3 months FINALLY STARTED! IN PROGRESS
Add last minute job - funeral program, design/finish 2day (procrastinator friend, so of course, haven't dropped off info yet)
complete, papers to F office
ck bank acct
dd school 2:30p
dd appt 5:15p
respond to emails as needed
Read 1 chapter and pray about boundaries book
Well today is only slightly better than yesterday in that I did a couple of things I didn't want to do on my list and then surfed the internet for help with making lists as a half way attempt to start that task... I realized I am physically rundown from 2 wks of no real breaks and also afraid of the task at hand - so trying to not be hard on myself so that I can restart... again! Used idea to design something with clement's quote about feeling guilty to help me open design program and get moving... thanks clement!
OK, it's taken me about an hour to get going this morning, but at least I'm going now!
*Class 11-12:30, mtg 2:30-3ish, seminar 4-5, evening either have dinner w/ friend or go square dancing
*Clean room! (made progress on this)
*Prep for mtg (Make table of MoD results and briefly compare to Brown paper, present correlation results), take notes from mtg
*Email PJ, SD, and TH, get inbox down to 1500 messages
*Figure out what I need to get done before leaving on Saturday (made progress on this)
*Schedule for finishing DP's project
*Read paper for class
*figure out what I need to do to finish taxes
OK, right now I'm going to get a few calculations running for mtg prep, then I'm going to clean my room, deal w/ emails and figure out what I need to get done before leaving sat.
Worked on organizing papers, figured out what I need to get done before Sat., went to seminar.
Friend cancelled dinner on me (grr, it's the 3rd night in a row), so I think I'll go square dancing...need to leave for that at 7:25. In the meantime, I'm going to finish cleaning room and take notes from mtg. Then, when I get home from squares I'll make a schedule for finishing DP's project.
Just finished mtg, now I need to take notes from mtg, finish figuring out what I need to get done before Saturday, work a little on organizing papers, call my friend about mtg tonight and go to seminar. To the chatbox!
- Go to professor and apologize
- Meet family and apologize
- do something fun with daughter as she can't go to daycare (ear infection)
- evening: write application to univ. for 2nd try on exam
Feel so happy! Got a nice grade, not perfect, but good and that's just enough for me! The professors talked me into trying and made me stay ... (I wanted to be flunked and try the exam once more next month or so). I will be forever grateful to them!!! they seemed to have lots of experience with students going insane at the day of the exam ..
Inspiring for me to see your success - awesome accomplisment!
That is great news! :) Congratulations! :)
What great news!
wow! I can't believe it. Once again, we are our own worst critics. You got a good grade! You had it in you all the time--how about that!
Awesome demonstration of recovery! You actually did Steps 1-8, and your Higher Power intervened by way of the professors' encouragement. So great, Constance. Thanks for sharing! \o/
Thank you all sooooo much,
You are such lovely, caring people! I'm so glad I'm a part of this group! You should see me now :-D I'm clapping my hands squeaking "thankyouthankyouthankyou" and jumping up and down in front of my pc, reading all your messages.
BIG HUGS TO EVERYONE!
Just want you to know that I understand what you are going through. I am a recent grad myself and grad school was one of the hardest things I ever did. Try not to beat yourself up too much when you struggle with your daily tasks. After all, no pain no gain right!
Seriously though, many suggest that the point of grad school is to test your limits and to understand your work style. It's a tough period of time, but trust in the fact that when you come out of it you will be a stronger person.
Good Luck to you in staying positive during this very tough time.
That's a hug - thinking of you. I have not finished my bachelor's degree for the same reasons...sigh. Just one terrifying Statistics class stands between me and the final semester of classes for which Stats is prereq. Maybe next term (I say again...). Let's pray for each other, and let us know how it goes for you, Constance.
Statistics, what a horror! I know how you feel, I've studied 1 semester of pedagogy which required statistics, too. It was a nightmare ... Then I switched to literature which didn't require stat ;-)
But I'm pretty sure it can be practised, like playing tennis or soccer, constant practice can make you solve any stat problem (but who wants that anyways ;-) ?).
Thank you for your kind words, dizzle! You know, that's exactly what I'm thinking about finishing grad school - it's not about testing your knowledge or engaging in scientific discourse - it's just testing whether you can stand the pressure or not. If you can, everyone can easily go on and get a PhD - you don't have to be super smart to do that, I think. If you're just willing to put in the work and willing to want to understand and study it all, everyone can do it. But if you've got all those negative voices in your head like I do, that keep telling you that your dumb and not worth to get on in life, it's a rocky way to any kind of degree ...
New mantra: I'm worth the try
rearrange r not necessary after all :)
decide about b and reply (ugh..)
prepare e plus s
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