Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Hello - new guy here!

First off - a little about who I am so you know where I am coming from.  If it doesn't matter to you, please feel free to skip the next paragraph. 

I am a married man and I am 43 years old.  I have five children ranging in age from 2 to 10 years, 3 girls and 2 boys.  I was raised Catholic and still follow the faith mostly, although I am at odds with certain ideas and rules associated with it.  I have abused drugs and alcohol on and off throughout my adult life and while it has been serious at times, I realized that I was not truly an alcoholic but my problems with that abuse stemmed from elsewhere.  And it seems that I have finally been able to truly identify what that problem is.  I work as a Systems Administrator for a small engineering firm in NE Alabama.  I have lived all over this nation.  I was born in Washington, DC and lived in the area until 1970. I lived in Arizona until 1979.  My family then moved to the San Francisco Bay Area where I lived until 2000.  I met my wife in 1995 and we married in 1997.  We moved to Arizona for 2 years and tried to move back to the Bay Area because of homesickness.  Upon arrival back in the Bay Area, we were betrayed by a family member.  That betrayal forced my family to move to the Southeast US where we remain to this day.

I do not remember when I started procrastinating but I know it was close to the sixth grade.  Since then, procrastination has had a stranglehold on my life.  It has cost me jobs, relationships, education, health and a lot of other things that I am sure that some of you can relate to.  I have no idea how I have been able to keep my current job as I constantly push back projects and/or wait until the last minute to do them.  And in my field, that is a bad thing because there are almost always things that pop up to get in the way at the last minute NATURALLY that impede progress.

I like to think that I am of above average intelligence but I think I am sorely lacking in the wisdom department.  Right now, I have what feels like a million things that need doing hanging over my head like the sword of Damocles.  What I don't understand is how I let such important tasks slip by so far and away without really doing anything about them.  I currently have several years of taxes to file.  I haven't filed for a birth certificate and SSN# for a child who was born at home almost 5 years ago.  The farther away from these things that need doing, the harder it is to take the steps toward getting them done.  I am so afraid of what could happen.  But then I think shoudln't I be afraid of what will happen if I don't?  And then I lather, rinse and repeat the cycle in varying degrees with everything that requires my attention.  It is a pardox to the nth degree for and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to get started.

My whole life has been like this, so I don't really feel as hopeful as some of you may think I should.  I have tried so many times to pull myself off of the floor and get doing what needs doing with little measurable success.  Oh sure, I can have a fit of industriousness and do a lot of things that need doing and say to myself that this is the beginning of change and POW!  I am right back where I was.  You know I didn't file a tax return for 10 years once and then I got an accountant to do it for me and that task was erased.  Then only a couple of years later, I did the same damned thing.  Didn't do them and now I have more returns to do!  This life does not make sense to me and yet I continue floating on and getting by but NEVER getting ahead!

I am drowning and have been for some time.  I need to change how I do things for the sake of my family and my mental, spiritual and physical health.  I know this now.  I just don't know how to start.  It is such a . . . displaced sense of being.  Knowing what you need to do but are seemingly powerless to do what needs doing!  I am ready to come up for air.  I just need to find the surface.


This is a place of good friends, hope, solace and healing. I wish you the best, and I'm happy that you're here.

The Hero's Code:

Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.

(No subject)

hi (soon to be not) drowning_man and welcome!

A long time ago I joined a forum (not this one - predates this one) with the username "procrastinator". People told me I shouldn't have such a negative name, so I changed it to "proACTIVE". Now I'm just "pro", which can go either way.

I hope soon you will be changing your name to something more positive and hopeful. Maybe change it now to give yourself a boost? How about "swimming"? That's sort of ambiguous - can be positive or negative. I think names matter, and the people in that other forum were right to make me change how I was labeling myself.

I relate very much to your story - perhaps not in the details of where you live and marital status, but in how procrastination has impacted my life. I still struggle, but things are way better than they were. You will see - you can change! We all can. We are here to help - glad you joined us.

Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.

Hi Back!

Thank you for your words.  I have given my username some thought.  I chose what I chose for a couple of reasons.  Obviously the number 1 reason is that is how I truly feel.  The other is that it is so completely different from the usual names I use and I really want to maintain my anonymity at this time.  I also was thinking about how something as seemingly silly as a username may affect other people reading what I write or even seeing me in the list of online users.  People who are struggling need positive influence more than anything and I try not to be negative.  I suppose I could have given more thought to choosing my name.  I tell you what . . . I will choose something more appropriate and positive sometime today!  That will be something I can accomplish . . . a little victory, if you will, that I can build upon and start me on my way.  I may even choose swimming_man . . . I like that very much.  Thank you for the suggestion.

Again, thank you for your words of welcome and encouragement.  I will just mention this here: I never thought there was anyone else so dysfunctional in the way that I am.  There is comfort in the fact that one is not alone in what I truly thought was a struggle unique to myself.  Perhaps that is a bit of narcissism on my part, I can't always tell what mental defects of mine are real or imagined.  But this one, I know is real.

OK - I figured (go figure!)

OK - I figured (go figure!) no time like the present so here I am with a shiny new username - to replace my other shiny new username!  I appreciate your thoughts, pro!  Thanks again!Smile

swimming's shiny new name

hey, it really looks great on you! Such a nice color  and cut - I think it makes you looks slimmer!


Thanks!  Coming from someone with a one letter username, I will take your compliment to heart!Wink

Welcome Drowning!

You will find a lot of support here.  Read the articles that Pro has written and start checking in.   we'll be there for ya!
"For myself, I am an optimist--it does not seem to be much use being anything else."- Winston Churchill

Thanks for the welcome!

I read a lot while I was waiting to be approved . . . and more since!  So I am hopeful.  I found so much good.  I am just trying to be cautiously optimistic.  I have backslid so much in my life, it is difficult to believe in yourself.  I don't want to be disappointed so much if I fail.  I am also subject to depression which I gather seems to be quite common with people who have our condition.  But it all starts somewhere and I believe that I can so . . . I have nothing to lose at this point.  Thanks again for the welcome!

take it easy!

One day at a time, dr-man. If you start each day with a commitment not to procrastinate today, and you follow through, you'll have a real victory to celebrate and a taste of the bracing, fresh air at the "surface." If you define your success or failure on a lifetime, when will you ever know success?

Welcome and keep coming back.


Thank you for the welcome and the word to the wise

Rolzup . . . when you said if you define your success or failure on a lifetime how will you ever know success? . . . WOW!  That really resonated with me!  Thank you!  My life isn't all failure, I know this deep down inside.  But it is so diificult when one's failures are so glaring.  I digress . . . I need to concentrate on the positive things I have done (and will do!) and build upon those.  I will give it the old college try . . . even though I never finished college! ;)

Congratulations on your

Congratulations on your transformation, swimming man!


welcome dr-man. i admire

welcome dr-man. i admire your honesty in your posts and hope you'll find some of the support here that i have

Thank you!

I appreciate the welcome, chickadee!  You know, I feel if I am not honest here, I will not be able to be successful in taming this demon.  I have not always been the most honest person in my life, sometimes even with myself.  This is not good so in order to be good, I must do good.  And to let you know, I already have found support . . . and hope!  Just by knowing you all are here with the same issues roughly as I have - supporting and helping each other - that has given me more hope for the future then I have felt since I cannot even remember when.

Thanks again!