Which way am I procrastinating?
This bugs me quite often.
Say I've written some music for a project, and it's at a stage where nobody in the entire world, except for me, has heard it. I'd make a decision to keep it that way until I 'release' it, however that may be, so I wouldn't upload it to music profile websites or send it to friends etc. Imagine me feeling very strongly that no one person would be allowed to hear it until it was available for everyone to hear.
This would go fine until say a friend comes to vist. Now I've already told him he can't hear anything until it's completely finished; it arrives through his door. The second we're in front of my pc, tho, I have a very strong urge, one perhaps coupled with the pressure of an insecurity, to show him the entire project because I want to know what he thinks and how much it will impress him.
I rationalize this as just a simple change of mind, but now I'm starting to see that it could very well be procrastination. Instead of sticking to the task I set of NOT showing Anybody, I made a bunch of reasons why I must and why I had to know what my friend thought. Any task is a challenge, to varying degrees, and perhaps having to bare unanswered questions and untendered insecurities is enough of such to cause me to procrastinate. I suppose it feels like I pressure myself.
Then, on the other hand, I really truly always want to know what people think. Perhaps if I stuck to my original task then I would be procrastinating over getting invaluable feedback and affirming weeks of effort that went into the project.
I am itching to post a link here, to feel like I achieved when reading your comments. But I am going to resist for now, however slight.
What do you guys think?