An Introduction, and somewhat revelation.
I’m Tom, 18 years of age and a musician. I live in the UK, and as of the 9th November 2008, am an admitted chronic procrastinator.
When I was 15 I struggled with clinical depression, and underwent two years of Cognitive Behavioural therapy until I was discharged. Since then I attempted both continuing learning and part time employment several times, each of which I failed to achieve. The reason I identified with, which I named myself, was that I had a low stress tolerance. This theory theorized that after experiencing increased amounts of stress around the onset of my depression, my mind’s threshold had been significantly reduced. When exposed to stress, which I’d observed to be expectation or pressure from others, it would appear that my functioning would remain okay-d until said stresses had sufficiently buffered, when my brain would ‘shut down’ and I would experience extreme difficulty achieving tasks, even as mundane as getting up, or choosing what to eat. All the time while experiencing this loss of mental ability, I would avoid confronting consciously the why and the how, instead submitting to the irrevocable definition of ‘shut down’ which I had applied to the experience. By doing this I was affirming subconsciously the true cause for my self-purported mental blockage. Chronic procrastination. And by affirming it, I cemented it into my life as a weakness, or an ‘illness’, something I was lacking or incapable of, and it became an excuse that I would use to my parents, to my girlfriend and something that two months ago I sought psychiatric help for. I also considered the possibility that this ‘problem’ might never be fixed, that it might be an imbalance in my brain, faulty wiring or something of the like. So I had cemented the concept of my problem in place by its affirmation, and declared the cement irremovable.
Whilst affirming this cycle of chronic procrastination, my low stress tolerance definition was an easy, simple and logical no-stress solution (one where I could do nothing to help), almost as if labelling it such was the solution – the solution enabling me to give up and have a lighter mind; this label was convenient. I suppose by now identifying with chronic procrastination, I am doing quite the same. The only difference is chronic procrastination, as a definition, has a solution that is attainable, and more importantly, one that is achievable by my own power.
this passage is part of what i was able to write after finding this website, and reading the article entitled 'Chronic Procrastination is NOT a Time Management Problem!' before today, i found it difficult to write anything spontaneously; blog entries, music, lyrics. After finding this site, and applying what i found and understood to my own situation, i felt a sudden flow of reasons and explanations and was able to write them out. My average day is spent on the computer, so i haven't written that much in a long while. so thankyou very much to this website; highlighting a solution to my problem!
if you'd like to read the rest of my conjecture you can do here
thanks again, and hello to everyone.
i hope i enjoy my stay.
peace and love,
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Tom, The road back is long,
The road back is long, but not as long as we think. We can get there.
Thankyou for your warm welcomes, and words of encouragement. i hope my mouthful of an introduction wasn't too monotonous to digest; i'm pretty sure i'd have skipped half, if not all of it myself.
recycler, i am back indeed! And thankyou.
hope-faith, thankyou, i hope so too.
e, brushing my teeth is often something i reside to avoid. i agree with the moment to moment quality of procrastinating, i think it is what makes it so darn challenging. But those moments when ease of effort is experienced are what should be strived for, and they sure make it worthwhile.
chickadee i can indeed relate to that "can't/won't" voice. it's like an impression of failure with every considered action. i experienced some escape from that today, and i found it very refreshing and uplifting. i know that i'll be back in the depths of procrastinating again, but the hope this new knowledge has instilled is very strong, and bright.
The hyperlink that i included in my post was down for a short while, but is function ok now.
Thanks to you guys again.
i wish you all much peace.
keep coming back!
You are in the right place! Keep coming back! :)
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
What an epiphany! This place does have a tendancy to boost one's ability to acheive, even if it is only the willingness to go brush one's teeth. I can only speak for myself, but I find that coping with procrastination is a moment-to-moment struggle - or not. When I read the words of others here, go and talk to myself in the chatbox, use some of the tools others have taught me about here, or simply am willing to check in, I find I get out of my way - and the bed gets made, the meals get planned, and it can be effortless. I hope you find it so.
Hello and welcome Tom. WOW what an introduction and thanks for sharing it with us. I truly hope that you will find this community as helpful as I have. We are here for you.
Welcome here Tom.
Welcome here Tom.
I think it's a really great first step to post here, so honestly and thoughtfully. You probably already know from reading around on the site that you'll find people here with some of the same sort of challenges and lots of support for each other.
I too have struggled with intertwined procrastination, stress and depression. i put up some thoughts here about how tasks can suddenly become light instead of heavy: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1658
I wish you strength and hope you're able to check back.
Oh, one more thought.... I
Oh, one more thought.... I always used to think I procrastinated because I had a weak will and that more will power and discipline was what I needed. But then I was losing all my energy in an almighty battle between 'do it' and the voice that said 'I can't / won't'. Now I think the solution comes from somehwere else. Here's a bit I wrote about that from the other thread:
I began to see this after reading the Now Habit. It made a lot of
sense--part of the will wants to do the task, get things done on time;
another part digs in its heels, says it's too hard, I can't, I don't
want to, or all sorts of subconscious messages of resistance.
A battle of the will is very hard to heal: I think it just
escalates: more pushing and ought and self-punishing, more resistance
in return. And then the inner battle uses up lots of energy.
I begin to see the point of HP, and trying to get away from ego
('help me do the next right thing'), and to feel that that way of
facing myself, the world, and facing tasks really offers more than just
a glimmer of hope; so far it has brought me even the experience of
moments of change, moments when the things I have to do are the things
I want to do and the tasks become light...Just moments of that for now
for me, but I am looking forward to more of them.