An Introduction, and somewhat revelation.
I’m Tom, 18 years of age and a musician. I live in the UK, and as of the 9th November 2008, am an admitted chronic procrastinator.
When I was 15 I struggled with clinical depression, and underwent two years of Cognitive Behavioural therapy until I was discharged. Since then I attempted both continuing learning and part time employment several times, each of which I failed to achieve. The reason I identified with, which I named myself, was that I had a low stress tolerance. This theory theorized that after experiencing increased amounts of stress around the onset of my depression, my mind’s threshold had been significantly reduced. When exposed to stress, which I’d observed to be expectation or pressure from others, it would appear that my functioning would remain okay-d until said stresses had sufficiently buffered, when my brain would ‘shut down’ and I would experience extreme difficulty achieving tasks, even as mundane as getting up, or choosing what to eat. All the time while experiencing this loss of mental ability, I would avoid confronting consciously the why and the how, instead submitting to the irrevocable definition of ‘shut down’ which I had applied to the experience. By doing this I was affirming subconsciously the true cause for my self-purported mental blockage. Chronic procrastination. And by affirming it, I cemented it into my life as a weakness, or an ‘illness’, something I was lacking or incapable of, and it became an excuse that I would use to my parents, to my girlfriend and something that two months ago I sought psychiatric help for. I also considered the possibility that this ‘problem’ might never be fixed, that it might be an imbalance in my brain, faulty wiring or something of the like. So I had cemented the concept of my problem in place by its affirmation, and declared the cement irremovable.
Whilst affirming this cycle of chronic procrastination, my low stress tolerance definition was an easy, simple and logical no-stress solution (one where I could do nothing to help), almost as if labelling it such was the solution – the solution enabling me to give up and have a lighter mind; this label was convenient. I suppose by now identifying with chronic procrastination, I am doing quite the same. The only difference is chronic procrastination, as a definition, has a solution that is attainable, and more importantly, one that is achievable by my own power.
this passage is part of what i was able to write after finding this website, and reading the article entitled 'Chronic Procrastination is NOT a Time Management Problem!' before today, i found it difficult to write anything spontaneously; blog entries, music, lyrics. After finding this site, and applying what i found and understood to my own situation, i felt a sudden flow of reasons and explanations and was able to write them out. My average day is spent on the computer, so i haven't written that much in a long while. so thankyou very much to this website; highlighting a solution to my problem!
if you'd like to read the rest of my conjecture you can do here
thanks again, and hello to everyone.
i hope i enjoy my stay.
peace and love,