Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Thursday October 23 2008
Good morning, everybody. Looks like I'm the first one here so I'll get the post started.
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Falcon CI Thurs.
Hi all,
I have a bunch of things that have to get done before I hit the hay tonight. What I really want to do is go right to bed, so I'm in prime procrastination mode. Just checking in to catch myself & steer myself in the direction of doing my stuff rather than zoning out into internet surfing and staying up even later.
I'll check back in before bedtime. . .
Falcon
Falcon Thursday CO
O.k., stuff is done.
Good night!
Falcon
Congrats Falcon!
Being able to check out with "stuff is done" is great! Good job :)
Recycler CI 8:35pm EST
Hi Pro Buddies!
Hey, I've got free heat at my new condo :) The model unit is underneath mine. Evidently they turned the heat on in the model unit today :) My condo was a nice, toasty 71 when I went over this evening. Maybe I will sleep on my air mattress for a few weeks over there, until we move my regular bed over there in mid-November ;)
Today: took a few things over to new condo. Showered at gym & got ready for work. Did projects at work. Had a pretty good day. Had a tip on a good time to Vote Early, but there was a long line when I got there, so just went somewhere for a snack instead. I can always vote on Election Day ;)
After work, had a massage. Later, taking some things over to my new condo, met 2 new neighbors :) Also talked to current neighbor for a minute :) Washed 2 loads of clothes. Folded & put away dried clothes. Next: brush & floss teeth. Wash & moisturize face. Write email to international friend.
Have a great night, everyone! :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
e's day fell apart
the morning was strong until about 11 and then it all piddled away. However, there is still the evening, and so now I am willing to do some more. Back up by the bootstraps.
goal: to finish emptying the big box and putting it out for recycling
Journey 4 pm
Agnus returns...and sighs deeply
What a rich-postings day to return here! Thank you to everyone who shared today. I have been home since 10/15 but "having once formed the habit" of relapse (not-checking-in), I found it amazingly difficult to resume. I commend those who stick out the tough times and keep posting. It really does make a difference.
My "vacation" began 9/30 with a road trip to a 3-day work event, then was supposed to become a week of fun with family and doing tourist stuff in DC. But my elderly parents both developed serious crises and our visit morphed into 2 weeks of doctors, hospitals, estate planning, etc. There was no Internet but I did have my pda and could have kept in touch. Just didn't.
The folks are stable, for now, thank God. But my emotions are quite raw. And so, of course, I've been procrastination-bingeing. I spent the last three mornings doing little other than trying to regain conscious contact with my HP. Yesterday I started feeling a bit better, and am very grateful that today, I apparently have power to at least check in.
I have an important conference call in 2 hours, plus 2 presentations due by close of business. And an early morning speaking engagement, so can't be up late. So my MIT#1 is: spend next 5 minutes reviewing PA Steps and Tools. MIT#2 is to apply them to create a to-do list and order it in a reasonable fashion. MIT#3 will be to work the resulting MITs in their proper order and to use Chat. One day at a time seems too long a span today, so I will use Chat's constant robo-accountability to keep me focused.
And when I can get my self-centered head out of my own belly button, I want to scan the last few weeks' postings and see how YOU guys are doing. I have missed you.
Good luck with everything, Agnes!
Hi Agnes!
Glad you are back! Take it easy on yourself!
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
Ag back on the wagon
i heard once: it's not how many times you fall off the horse that counts, it's how many times you get back on.
Glad to have u back. missed ya!
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http://www.procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1114#comment-23050
Agnus 3:50pm
Wow, thanks for all the warm welcome-backs. I've got my initial MITs done and am working steadily toward the 4 pm conf call, but likely won't be "perfectly" prepared...interesting how that Tool ("Avoid Perfectionism") kept jumping off the page at me this afternoon! :-)
I will check back in after the call. Now for a cuppa tea (thanks e!), and a prayer for everyone who will be on the call...
Agnus 5pm
Wow, got through the call with grace and didn't even need the info I was tempted to panic about not having. Guess that's why "Avoid Perfectionism" was speaking to me from Tools today. Next up: Do the calendaring and ordering that resulted from the call, while I still remember what they are! Then, schedule the rest of the action items. Then, take a break to pray about the best use of the next few hours. Check back in one hour.
Ag 6:30
TJ the Wonder Puppy says it's time to stop for a walk. I comply...still need to do some accountability tonight so I commit to tracking my time and scheduling my morrow, but no more today.
It is good to be back.
Agnus finale at 10:40pm
I need to plan tonight for tomorrow morning. I am emceeing something that starts earlier than I usually do...
So tonight: wash my face, brush hair and teeth, and set out clothes; program the coffeepot and set my wake-up song (Who wants to wake up to "alarm"?) for 5:30 am. Then I will fetch a cup of coffee, feed the pets, and go for a brisk walk. At 6 I'll fetch coffee #2 and have Step 11. At 6:45am I will hit the shower, dress and primp. At 7:15 I'll make and eat breakfast and review my talking points. At 7:40 I'll pack my lunch and stuff in the car, and leave at 7:45. This should give me plenty of time to arrive as expected at 8:30.
It's an all-day deal so I'll not likely check in tomorrow until after 5. Hope everyone has a fantastic Friday!
hugs to Agnus
So glad your folks are OK, and congrats on your honesty now. Good to have you back!
Wishing you strength with
Wishing you strength with everything Ag.
Welcome back, Ag
kromer 11:45 CI
Today is a pretty busy day, with lots of scheduled tasks:
Scheduled:
Genetics 9:30-11:30 and 12-1Mtg w/ LS 1-1:30Mtg w/ WG 2:00-2:45Today MITs:
*Finish making pillows, give back sewing machine
*Finish motif scanning
*brainstorm about post-processing method
*Pack for trip to California!
And print work for plane flight*notes from mtg w/ WG
*
Email PTOther tasks:
* Bible reading
*Genetics pset
*Get list of datasets
*Finish getting esr dataset
*
Fix WMRight now I'm going to email PT and print work for plane flight. Then I'll go to genetics and meet with LS.
kromer 3:15 CI
The day is going pretty well so far. I'm going to go to lab now and take notes from mtg w/ WG. Should take about 30 min. Then I'll finish motif scanning and brainstorm about post-processing method. Then I'll go home, finish making pillows and pack.
Update 4:35--going very slowly! but now I'm finally done taking notes from mtg w/ WG. Now I'm going to finish motif scanning. I need to track down a bug in the motif-scanning code, so hard to know how long it will take. But I'm hoping to get done in about 15-30 min. Back when that's done.
Update 5:25--again, going slowly, but I fixed bug in motif-scanning code. Now I'm going to brainstorm about the post-processing method. I think this should take about 30-45 min (and I'll do it away from the computer, so I won't be as easily distracted). Then I'll head home and have some dinner.
kromer 9:25 CI
Not being the most efficient today, but at least I've stayed pretty focused on my MITs.
I still haven't packed or finished brainstorming. But I've done the rest of my MITs. I'm going to take care of those now, then finish getting ESR dataset
kromer 12:50 CO
I finished my MITs today! That hasn't happened in a while, and it feels really good.
I didn't get ESR dataset (because I had to deal with a panicked phone call from a friend, and then I spent more time than I should have online), but that's OK.
Now I'm going to spend 10 min doing bible reading, then I'll go to bed.
Kromer's MITs FINISHED !
scarlett CI 10:35 am EST
This day has barely begun but I'm exhausted already. Time to settle down and get a rhythm going.
Ta da:
Eat breakfast
Email KP
Take pills
Email DR, dev
Friend AM
Resched mtg
Look up recog notes
Morning routine
To do:
Call Rod
Finish spreadsheet
KS review
Start proj/task list
GM & AC - complete #s?
Personal:
Val prop during lunch
Email AM & TVS
Announce
Fill in budget spreadsheet
AS re: reading
JF re: caricature
NTTHI3D
contact MC, TCF
Call MM
Check HG to-do
Start g doc - me, JH, DT
Call DT
The adrenaline you've been living on only leaves you wanting.
GeorgeSmiley 9:25 AM
Well, the last couple of days have seen me backslide into old, bad habits.
It was made easier to do because of having too long a list of tasks, combined with, yesterday especially, having a cold. I'm better today, and I've tried to get tasks under control, but still vulnerable.
I know that a big part of my stumbling in the last few days--accompanied by not showing up here--have been about rebellion. I also know that in the end that's not really helpful in the long run.
Aside to Scott K: Welcome! And I for one sure know about politics on the Internet as a form of addiction...
OK--MITs:
#1: Project W for Client I.: last phone calls, draw up outline, draft if there's time
#2: Project M for Client C.: initial tack is failing. I need a new line of attack. Identify sources and contact them.
#3: Project K for Client E: Need to do a read-through and copy edit, also to construct Press release.
#4: Project U: slipping away. Need to do something--ANYTHING
#5: Project D: If there's any time.
The Hero's Code:
Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.
rebellion
i kno what u mean by rebellion. I feel it. I always think i'm silly, because i'm rebelling against things i believe are right and good for me and my family and place of work. To this day it's the most bizzare part of it for me.
And it's why i find so much wisdom in the 12 step concept of "surrender."
Good luck sliding "forward" today, george
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http://www.procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1114#comment-23050
George's backside oops! I meant backslide
Journey 10 am
I've been to the gym, read email, set my MITs. Coffee break time!
e puts the kettle on
good morning everyone! Have a cookie and a great day!
thanks e!
I could use some tea today...
And good luck with the fafsa, congrats for facing your scary task
e's Thursday
Is it really Thursday? Oh crap, that means there won't be water until 2pm today! argh! So, I guess that I will not be bathing, laundering, or doing more dishes! Anyhooo.....
Thanks Scott, for the thread starter and for your share. It was just what I needed to hear this morning. I am hopeful today. I have sorted out the top of the dresser and found that the insurance problem was resolved. There also seem to be some other possiblilities that I had not yet considered, so I am going to look into them.
MIT: project b
MIT; uni financial aid, fafsa (scary), residence
MIT: employment prospects
sort 1 bag at a time....
ScottK CI
Good morning again.
I woke up this morning a little after 4:00 am feeling very anxious. I continue to have a lot of unfinished work and my client is getting upset, I think. I have big unstarted projects and lots of half-finished and three-quarters-finished projects lying around and piling up. I realized too late last week that I had missed a submission deadline for a client and I've procrastinated on telling them about it.
I did get a few things done yesterday but mostly spent it reading about politics on the Internet (a common 'secondary addiction' in my other 12-step group). So today, of course, things are only worse.
Thinking about it this morning, I realized I'm worried that I'm getting too old to do this job. It feels like my energy is waning and my memory is failing me more often. And yet our finances are so bad I feel as if I need to work even harder than I have in order to keep us from going under entirely. I feel lonely, isolated, desperate, guilty and shameful. And all these emotions are paralyzing.
But thank HP I'm in recovery, so I am not without tools. I did some work on my Second Step this morning, and afterwords resolved to check in here and unload. I feel better already. I'm seeing both my therapist and my sponsor today, which should help. After this I'm going to meditate, then make a list of the projects that require the least amount of effort and time to complete and try to do the first two this morning. I'll let you know how that went.
I don't really understand how to turn things over to my HP, except to reach out for help and try to be honest with other people in recovery. Thank you so much for being here to listen.
ScottK
Hi Scott. Keep coming back!
Hi Scott!
Keep coming back!
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
2:40 CI
Thanks for the kind posts, everybody. Got one of my tasks done this morning, then had an intense session with my therapist. Back to the list this afternoon; hoping to get two sales letters written.
4:40 CI
Got THREE sales letters written. I'm really very productive when I can settle down and actually work
-- ScottK
ScottK
Scott said: I realized I'm worried that I'm getting too old to do this job. It feels like my energy is waning and my memory is failing me more often. And yet our finances are so bad I feel as if I need to work even harder than I have in order to keep us from going under entirely. I feel lonely, isolated, desperate, guilty and shameful. And all these emotions are paralyzing.
Wow, I could have written that post myself!! I can say that things are a lot better than they were this time last year when I joined this forum.
Jo
"Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?"
— Henry Ward Beecher
Journey, that's inspiring
Journey, that's inspiring to read.
I have wondered: who has recovered, or is it that they don't stick around. So it's really good to hear that you've gotten that far in a year.
I've also wondered whether, as one recovers, one keeps putting the bar higher, as if the idea 'I am bad, I don't get thigns done' is there to seize on whatever evidence large or small there is. So the practice of positive, though honest, self-talk is as important as the doing things and keeping one's word?
Great question Chickadee
I do consider myself to be in recovery, although I still have a long way to go. But I am not setting the bar higher at all, but lower. Part of my problem has always been that I set unrealistically high expectations for myself, setting myself up for failure, then berate myself for not making those unreasonable goals.
I'm learning to have more reasonable expectations and a sane, doable, todo list and schedule for the day.
There's an old joke: Every day do a little more than people expect, and pretty soon they will learn to expect a little more. I think that's what you are getting at with your question: If I achieve my goal to be more productive, then what's next? Do I have to continue to be more and more productive until I explode? NO. We want to reach a balance of work, play, and enjoying time with friends and family.
The main thing I have learned in the past year, and I am still learning this lesson: to look at myself honestly, but with love not criticism. To honestly face my problems and shortcomings, but without falling into a cycle of self-criticism and procrastination. This is the hardest thing to learn, to accept a fault in yourself and lovingly and gently work to correct it.
Jo
"Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?" - Henry Ward Beecher
great discussion
> to look at myself honestly, but with love not criticism.
nice one. that balance i am starting to feel is really important. Don't excuse or ignore failure, but dont dwell on it either. Movingalong has a nice post about some 12step literature about making reasonable assessments at the end of the day.
I feel the same way as you folks: better but a long way to go. I have been exercising and having my quiet time consistently since i've joined the site. I've been setting MITs and sticking to them more than ever before, even if that's only 50% of the time. More importantly, there have been far fewer hours-long and days-long procrastination binges. That's a big one for me.
Personally, given the HP-component, i'm fine with the highest bar, perfection, as long as i can handle constant failure, which i am learning to do. I can't fool myself when i know i could have done better. That just always stands out there as a fact. But with forgiveness, it doesnt have to be a debilitating fact. It can actually be an inspiration, a stimulus to try harder again.
Here's a quote i love: "a humble spirit accepts its faults quietly, and moves on in hope and confidence/"
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http://www.procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1114#comment-23050
a humble spirit accepts its faults quietly, and moves on . ..
Solidarity! to Scott and e
and thanks for putting the kettle on.
I have been doing iTs, not yet MITs or UTs-the small ones, that make a difference to others, but could have been done quicker or after higher priority tasks. I need to move onto UT and MIT.
And I want to understand why I put small-things-for-others before my own top ITs...
okay... courage...serenity...wisdom... I can take the next step
doing small things...
> And I want to understand why I put small-things-for-others before my own top ITs...
um, yeah, me 2. when u figure it out, lmk :)
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http://www.procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1114#comment-23050
chick progress
Now on avoided IT
Enough is done for the moment. I have let this become larger and more demanding than it needed to be. It's not enough to break it into parts. I also need to tell myself : each part is a sub unit of the whole, and becomes less apt if it is too complex.
Good Morning, Scott!
I don't know if it helps any, but there have been many times I could have signed my name to your post instead. Eyes on the prize, and take big breaths. Hope you have a good, productive day!