Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.
WEDNESDAY...with crisp
WEDNESDAY...with crisp September chill...
A new day is a gift. One day at a time..
time to keep starting and to keep going :)
(ps I was trying to make the new day header, but it didn't work; please could someone tell me how and remove this postscript? Thanks!)
re: Wednesday with Crisp
Hi Chick, to make the thread starter, you go to Forums - Daily Checkin and create a new topic there. Thanks!
Jo
“If you can’t ride two horses at once, you shouldn’t be in the circus.” - Jimmy Maxton, Independent Labour MP for Glasgow Bridgeton
coming out of the fog
Hi All,
I have been gone for awhile. I have had some very, very dark days. Depression can set in quite quickly, and with me, metastasizes even faster. I made an emergency phone call to my one true friend in town, and saw her this evening. I feel much better, but I also know that I HAVE to stay 2 steps ahead of this demon. I feel like it is always lurking and by the time I know I'm in it, it's too late.
Will check in tomorrow. Can use some encouragement, especially in letting others reject me after I've tried than rejecting myself before anyone even knows I'm trying (if that makes any sense). I will keep the attitude of welcoming "no"s from anyone but myself. At least then it's real and I can say that I tried.
Thanks,
PiP
out of the house and to work on my resume
Hi All,
So I left the house again for the third day in a row. I punish myself by staying in, or sometimes I can't bring myself to get out. That is one thing I can guarantee for myself when I am working: I always will have a way to get out of the house that doesn't have anythign to do with whether I deserve it or not.
Got some eggs at the cheapest place for eggs in town, and that should help me use the rest of the food I've still got. Tomorrow going down to the Salvation Army to see if they are still offering bread; I hope to get a loaf or two. That will last me a little while.
Made a phone call I had been dreading. I won't know the outcome until I call back or check online on Friday, but I made the essential first step.
Set up my voicemail. Let a couple people know my new phone number. I have some "phobiatic" issues with mail and the phone, so these steps, although small, are significant.
Right now I need to make myself something to eat.
Tonight's to-dos are:
1. Finish filling out S.D. packet, put it in the envelope, and walk it down to the mailbox. My reward will be sending an email to the expecting party letting them know it's in the mail.
2. Decide on the layout for and work on the plug-n-place parts of this resume version. This is analogous to someone else's example of an initial project of fixing a leaking kitchen sink turning into reworking the main water line to the house. Working on my resume gets SO big, SO fast. It's so close to being finished, I just need to allow myself to focus on each line as I'm working on it. I can do this. THIS IS A NEGATIVE THOUGHT NO TOLERANCE ZONE!
Will check back in soon,
PiP
didn't get to MIT 1, but slammed down MIT 2
Two things:
1. Was MAJORLY productive on my resume. Able to stay focused better and longer than anything I've experienced in a while.
2. Had only minor, fleeting negative thoughts. It's a broad term that encompases everything I am critically worried about, and I was able to keep them at bay. It felt wonderful to work in a neutral, if not sometimes uplifting emotional state.
Thanks ans see y'all in later "today" - I'm closing up shop so late that it is tomorrow. Not worried about it.
-PiP
Hi Pip
Pip,
Your screen name always makes me thing of Pippi Longstocking!
Sorry you are having such a rough time. I know depression can be debilitating. I hope you're getting medical care for that condition.
The fact that you are here shows your intention to improve! Good for you. Look at yourself honestly, but with LOVE not condemnation. The guilt and the self-blame don't help; you don't need them; let them go.
Jo
“If you can’t ride two horses at once, you shouldn’t be in the circus.” - Jimmy Maxton, Independent Labour MP for Glasgow Bridgeton
Hi PiP--we're here for you
Hi PiP,
it seems really brave and honest of you to check in (and to resolve to check in again) in such a dark time. We're all here for you. Remember to look afer yourself and try to be as gentle with yourself as if you were your own friend. You CAN stay two steps ahead of the demon...
kind words in a time of need
Chickadee,
Thank you SO much. I just came back to read other's posts to get some perspective and saw your reply. Your acknowledgement means a lot to me as does the feeling that you are all in support of me. It is SUCH a relief when you see that someone else is out there.
Gentle to myself means not punishing myself with my worst memories, with my mistakes, with what I think of myself. Gentle will need to mean to me returning to thoughts of the future with hope, even if it feels foolish, stupid, or inconceivable. When things have gone wrong for so long, it makes you feel stupid to say "I have hope for unseen things, for unknown outcomes, for new inspirations, for new feelings. For being ok."
I'm going to push past feeling stupid or feeling like I am just setting myself up for a greater fall. I will be gentle with myself, and I deserve hope.
See y'all tomorrow,
PiP
Recycler CI 9:20pm EST
Hi Pro Buddies!
Made it through today mostly ok, despite experiencing rejection about something yesterday.
Today: walked, stretched, work. Filled in for absent coworker for a couple hours. Did own projects. Met with boss. Updated project list. Started on a few assignments. Did a couple deadline projects. Rode train home. Shopped on way to support group meeting, but could not find the product that I needed.
At support group meeting, a newcomer came in who was someone I know from elsewhere. It's ok with me that they are there. I hope it will be ok with them that I am there; I don't want to scare them away. I know I am confidential.
Time to sleep now! Have a great night, everyone! :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
chickadee checks in
On an adrenaline spike because of urgent assignment. At least I am working steadily and able to stay calm. Two other impending deadlines, but I can't do anything for them now. When this one is done, I will start to look more carefully at avoiding this kind of jam, I hope using the CIs to keep myself on track...
chickadee working steadily and remaining calm
good job! You can't get much better than that!
Jo
“If you can’t ride two horses at once, you shouldn’t be in the circus.” - Jimmy Maxton, Independent Labour MP for Glasgow Bridgeton
Journey 3:30 Update 4:15
ok, pizza dough is in. Now, I need to do high priority unplanned task, should only take about 30 minutes. then back.
4:15 That's done. I'm getting restless from sitting at my desk all day. I'm going to take a 15-min laundry and dishes break. Amazing how laundry and dishes are fun when you're supposed to be doing something else!
“If you can’t ride two horses at once, you shouldn’t be in the circus.” - Jimmy Maxton, Independent Labour MP for Glasgow Bridgeton
kromer 2:10 CI
Been moving these past few days, too busy to check in...
Today my MIT's are:
*Make table of coregulators for PF
*
Get G+D's furniture*
Go to dept. dinner*Check on WM, check failed jobs have re-run succesfully
*
Search for desk (office depot, salvation army, craigslist)(found one!)Other tasks
*Read A+D paper
*
Pick up chair+TV from student house*
Finish washing baseboards/floor in living room*
Clean oven*
Finish washing baseboards/windows in kitchen*Go to bookstore, get names+isbn's for textbooks
I'll start by doing some work on the coreglulator table (I'm not sure exactly what this will entail, so I'll update with a more detailed plan). Then I'll check on WM jobs, fill out grant form, go to bookstore, and print A+D paper.
Update 9:45--OK, ended up going early to pick up stuff, so I haven't got through my MITs. I'm working on coreg. table now, will update frequently.
Ag ci 2:35
Hi gang, just a quick check-in - I am slammed editing some major docs overdue since 6 a.m. (I foolishly promised someone I would work this project over the holiday weekend, and then did not). sigh. Off to the adrenaline rush; back later.
journey 12:10 UPDATE 12:30 AH HA! 1:30 2:30
Had the Weekly Mandatory Useless Meeting, worked on MIT #1 for about an hour although I didn't make a lot of forward progress on it. I know what needs to be done next though and that's half the battle.
I'm in a lunchtime conference call now, which is MIT #2. I really should have done some prep for this call, but didn't. Oh, well.
12:30 After all this time, I just identified another major stumbling block for me. I work with some really smart people and if I start comparing myself unfavorably to my co-workers - A is faster than me, B is smarter than me, C is a better speaker than me, etc. - it sends me into a tailspin of negative thoughts and procrastination. On the other hand, if I do not compare myself to other people and just try to do the best I can, and be honest with myself and with my co-workers, I get much more done AND I get more support from my team. DOH! Journey slaps herself in the forehead.
1:30 lunch meeting over, going to do follow up work for that until 2 pm. then take a break.
2:30 Made some progress on MIT #2, not as much as I wanted to. Moving on. Or, actually, taking a break to put pizza dough in the breadmaker.
Jo
“If you can’t ride two horses at once, you shouldn’t be in the circus.” - Jimmy Maxton, Independent Labour MP for Glasgow Bridgeton
Check-in
Getting started after a long weekend can be troublesome for me. Especially dealing with the shame/fear I feel about "not being productive enough" yesterday. Which was a holiday BTW. That said today is not a holiday. Looking forward to:
Shower
Dress
Make lunch
Go to work
schedule meeting with team
Work on req documentation for 20 minutes
Make Program call
That should take me to 10am
TTYL
GeorgeSmiley 9 AM
Getting started after the long weekend.
I've actually been at my home office computer since 8:30. I had a phone interview scheduled for right away so I did that before signing in here.
Emotionally it's a somewhat challenging day. Kids got off for the first day of school. I got to take my younger one, who's going into 6th grade; usually he's with his Mom on this day so it was a rare treat for me... although he indulged in plenty of "I'm not going!" theatrics, while I managed to remain fairly cool and level headed to not give him the audience he craved.
Today will be my first day without my kids in more than a week. They'll be back on Thursday evening, then again the weekend after this upcoming one. The days they go back to their mother often leave me a little subdued.
My most difficult MIT is to contact my editor and explain that Project Rwill not be to him this morning. I feel like the breakthrough I had on Saturday is helping, but I did not take any more time on it during the holiday weekend.
I also have another deadline looming, my Project PS. I'll need to sandwich that in today and tomorrow as I move forward on Project R.
Then there's project P-11. That needs to move fast, too.
All of these send me quickly into paralysis.
I'm going to try doing 30-minute stints and rotating among those 3 projects. And I'll check in here every hour.
I'm also going to make a promise to the group in hopes of creating for myself a greater incentive to stay on task: I will not engage in any of my standard procrastinating behavior--recreational surfing, free-cell, political blog-reading, or other such distractions.
When tempted to do so I will come here first.
MIT# 1: Contact Project R. Editor; also, resume work on project R. Checking back here no later than 10 AM.
~~
9:15 OH SNAP!!!
I'm scheduled for another phone appt. that I completely forgot about in 15 minutes.
My Outlook just reminded me.
OK, I'll still check in back here by 10 if that phone appt. is over by then, or else immediately afterward.
11:50 AM
~Sent email to editor explaining where I stooed with Project R.
~Had the 9:30 AM phone conference. It ended about 11:10. Since then, I've checked my email and had some interrruptions.
~Getting some lunch now. I'll be back
GS 12:40 PM
Well I think it was about 25 minutes after the above post before I finally did get some lunch, about 12:15 or so.
I'm back and already having a lot of trouble transitioning to my next task.
I'm going to spend 15 minutes just starting again on Project R.
UPDATE: 1 PM: I'm sticking with it, but it's really challenging. The urge to turn away from the task at hand and instead indulge in any or all of my usual distractions is very strong. I can almost feel the sort of relief and release I would experience if I followed through on that urge. What keeps me from doing so is my promise to everyone here, and also the knowledge that I would end up wasting time that needs to stay focused on the task at hand...
off-task urge resistance
GeorgeSmiley!
That you could not only resist your distractional urge but write about the relief it would give you AND STILL ABSTAIN is amazing and inspirational to me. Often times, maybe even most of the time, I've given in with the purpose of immediate relief and to quickly get to a "mental hiding place."
It really helps and gives me an inspiring boost to know that it is possible to gain more control over my impulses.
Most of all and bottom line: I applaude you!
See you 'round,
PiP
I do that many times, too...
...give in in search of immediate relief, that is.
I've found that accountability here helps armor me against it, but it's no guarantee.
Here's to a good Wednesday for you...
GS
GS 1:30 PM
I pushed through and got some more written on Project R. Now I need to put it aside and do something with Project PS. This is an editing project.
My immediate task is to read it through, then to outline a short summary of it.
Update: 3:45 PM: I did a quick skim of the piece, had a snack at 2 p.m., then left for errands that took me until nearly 3:30 PM. Now I'm back.
MIT #1: Finish the summary of Project PS and send it to my client.
MIT #2: Return to Project R
GS 4:35 PM; Update: 5:05 PM; Update 5:31 PM
OK, wrote the summary, sent it to the client.
Now I'm juggling whether to resume working on project R or to continue working on Project PS. Both of them are "breathing down my neck."
I'm going to spend 20 minutes on Project R, and check back here at 5 PM
UPDATE-5:05 PM:
Without even trying I managed not to get anywhere...
Got a snack. Phoned Mrs. GS about logistical matters. checked email. And suddenly, here it is at 5:05
UPDATE 5:31 PM:
OK, did a little bit more. Not so much a microburst as a micro-ooze...
Need to get Younger Son to Soccer practice, get myself a sandwich, go to Choir practice. Don't know if I'll come on later tonight.
Hoping tomorrow will be far less interrupted than today.
Cheers to all...
micro-ooze! roflmao!
“If you can’t ride two horses at once, you shouldn’t be in the circus.” - Jimmy Maxton, Independent Labour MP for Glasgow Bridgeton
Journey 8:54
Ah, the Happy Tuesday Lady! I love her!
A good day so far! I've been to the gym, read email, set my MITs for the day. I'm working from home today, so I'm gonna take a break - and a shower - now.
Back in 30 minutes or so to begin working on MIT #1
Jo
“If you can’t ride two horses at once, you shouldn’t be in the circus.” - Jimmy Maxton, Independent Labour MP for Glasgow Bridgeton
Journey 9:50
Well, 30 minutes turned into an hour lol. But I am back and starting on MIT #1. I have the Weekly Mandatory Useless Meeting at 10:30, so I should be able to get in a good half hour of work before then.
I have not turned on my personal computer today. I realized last week that having the personal computer right here on my desk beside me is too great a temptation. I thought I would be able to turn it on and check personal email, listen to music, etc. but instead I surfed the net and played games. I have blocked or uninstalled my greatest temptations and time wasters on my work computer (free cell, bookworm, amazon.com, wikipedia) (yes, wikipedia. that one hurt) but they are all there on the personal computer. *Sigh*. So, turning on the personal computer will be a sign that the work day is over and I can now goof off.
And so, to MITs (with apologies to Samuel Pepys)
Jo
“If you can’t ride two horses at once, you shouldn’t be in the circus.” - Jimmy Maxton, Independent Labour MP for Glasgow Bridgeton