Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
I fell off the wagon...
Hi everybody. I haven't been on here for quite some time. I really fell off the wagon. It's been weeks, maybe months of a zombie like state. The cash in my bank is dwindling and my clients (I'm self employed) seem to be losing faith in me. I can't even seem to be able to pick up the phone these days.
I was taking Lexapro which did make me more productive (but only to an extent) until the side effects – somnolence, sexual dysfunction – began to have, what I perceived as a worse effect than the disease that it was trying to control. I would fall asleep in the middle of the day which is something I never did, not even as a child. Unfortunately, this is an effect thats persisted to this day even after I've been off Lex for 2 to 3 months. The anorgasmia (inability to reach orgasm) affected my confidence with my girlfriend and I ended up losing her. That was a big blow.
I slowly got off the meds, afraid to go to my doctor because I feel that he thinks that the only solution is medication. I've mentioned the prospect of talk therapy and he didn't seem to go with it.
I want to see a specialist on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Do we agree here on this forum that what we're experiencing is a form of OCD?
It seems that this forum is US centric but are there any Canadians on here (Ontario specifically) that would recommend a good OCD clinic that I can go to or ask my doctor about?
Thank you
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welcome back, ipedro
Sorry you've been having such a rough time. I don't know if procrastination is always accompanied by OCD, but I was diagnosed with OCD/GAD myself. I tried a couple of meds before I found one that works for me, so it's certainly worth pursuing with a doc.
We're glad to have you back, keep posting, it really does help.
Jo
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” - Stephen Covey
Funny how this
Funny how this works....
Simply by getting my ideas and thoughts out with my original post above, I was somehow able to break the cycle that has led me to this zombie like state. I got a ton of stuff done today...
None of my tasks today included real work that needs to get done, but I managed to organize my apartment to give me some breathing room to get some work done this week.
just posting...
yeah, ipedro, same here. Often just posting--even posting "i can't get anything done" somehow breaks the wall.
I tend to think of it in terms of lessening the power of the dread, or avoidance, or whatever it is that's blocking me.
I'm so happy you had a good day. C'mon, hang out here with us. We're all in this together.
Thanks clement and journey
Thanks clement and journey for the encouragement.
Tonight, I've actually started getting work done in preparation for a job tomorrow (last minute nonetheless). In the morning I'm returning to the job I held for 7 years before going self employed. It's a 5 day contract which will earn me one month's rent. I have a second 5 day round next month. That'll take the pressure off a little from worrying about making the rent – at least for the next couple of months.
I kept this job for so long because it was very loose on schedule, had little to no supervision and kept me in contact with people which seems to attenuate my symptoms.
I eventually quit because the schedule was getting stricter and so was the pressure from my superiors to perform. I was also bored of doing the same thing for 7 years.
Waking up for several weeks after self employment life began was sweet. I still had that feeling that I had to wake up and go to work but I realized after rubbing my eyes that I could go back to sleep and had a whole day to do what I wanted.
I've become isolated ever since. I only work when I want to which is not conducive to following a routine and days go by without speaking face to face with a human. Both are hurting me.
Hopefully I can make this week long job a regular thing. It'll be a monthly shot of "Popeye's spinach" where I get intense human interaction and make some easy money.
What I want to get a discussion going on is surrounding devising an explanation of the knowledge gathered on this site to my doctor. I've found on here a very accurate description of my symptoms.
They don't seem to fit any condition in my family doctor's manual so I'm inserted in there with GAD w/ an OCD component. However, P-A.org seems to have nailed it as a separate condition.
Perhaps I'll start a new thread on that subject...