Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
An Intro Long Overdue
After 3 months of telling myself - "Oh I'll post when I have something good to report about or at least one thing on my personal check list down", I thought I would just suck it up and post.
I'm Kat, a senior in high school, and I am a chronic procrastinator which gets me a bit depressed at times. I also have problems with being jealous, never really being content with things or myself, especially since I view myself as a "dork". When I do let my guard down though, I like to think I am pretty damn funny. I am honest, ambitious, and analytical. I am a little idealistic sometimes, and sometimes too philosophical. I LIKE to think.
I've been procrastinating since around 8th grade- before then I pretty much got all my work done by 4 PM. Then again, the work has increased exponentially, so I'll give myself that. Being an all girl's private high school, even the "regular" classes generally have lots of work. However, I am headed to the University of Chicago for college next year and I want to major in Astrophysics and get a Ph.D. I really want to enjoy myself, be more outgoing, manage my time well, and do well. Obviously my GPA isn't too bad since I got accepted to a top school, but I certainly didn't put very much effort into high school.
Lately (like the past year or so), I never really feel like doing much of anything. There's plenty of things I want to do and learn, but I can never seem to have enough motivation or energy to do so. Then I make lists and Essential things don't get done, and then I freak out. My parents are incredibly unsupportive.
Luckily, I have only a month of high school left, because seniors get out of school early. However, I am getting to the point where I want to better myself in many facets of life (guitar, Physics, reading books) as well as take on some more responsibility (job, boyfriend lol). I also want to be more comfortable being myself in front of other people and "go out" more. As you can see, I have a dearth of goals.
This is a great time for me to instill some good habits, and I don't want to mess it up. However, it's soooo easy to do so!
I LOVE to talk, and I've read other intros and they seemed incredibly passionate. I assure you, I am a procrastinator and hate it, and have no one to really help me out other than people telling me to "make a list".
Thank you so much, and I REALLY hope I can commit myself to posting more often, as I think it helps.
- Login to post comments
welcome
Katia, you are blessed to realize that even though you are gifted, that you are struggling. You are lucky because you have found this place at the time that many of us were still embedded in perfecting procrastination as an artform. Having a community to work things through may help you to avoid many of the pitfalls that many of us have fallen into. If you glance through this site, several others like you may pop out as highly successful folks who identify themselves as procrastinators.
In another 12 step program they speak of 'bottoming' as a gift: that you have to hit bottom to be able to become willing to take the first three steps. For many of us that means having gone through serious failures because of our procrastination. In my case I lost scholarships and dropped out of college, have been let go from jobs, all because of not being able to consistently cope on my own with my compulsive procrastination. That is not to say that there have not been times where I have come back from such failures: far from it. But having a fellowship of people with whom I identify, who share their 'experience, strength and hope' as well as a safe place to own their worst behaviors, has helped me enormously. I hope you find this place so as well.
I just woke up and I don't know how much this makes sense, but welcome to posting!
i love to think
i love to think, too. People have talked here about how self-control is a resource that you can use up, and like a muscle you can train it and get more of that resource.
Well if thinking is a muscle, then mine is buldging because it gets frequent work-outs! I tend to like The Matrix type of ideas, where you can't trust your perceptions and the world is fundamentally different than it appears. But just about any philosophical topic i have encountered i have enjoyed. Somehow this fits into the 12 steps for me, but that's a bit too much to go into at this point.
Anyway, kat, you're in the right place. People here have been struggling with the same thing you are for 30 years since they were your age. You're getting an early start on what has been for me and others here, a full-on, life-long battle.
It was REALLY GOOD for you that you posted. I and many here have reported that for me and them it was a crucial first step. We hope and pray it will be for you too.
The pattern of making lists, not getting things done, freaking out, and having that sap one's motivation making it all worse is a pattern than i know extremely well, and many here have reported the same thing--as you've probably seen from your reading here.
I know what you mean about people here being passionate. I tend to love passionate people, and i think that's why i like it hear so much. I hope you'll feel the same sense of belonging that i have.
Many people benefit from the chatbox (left nav bar) and bookending or check-ins You may have already read about these. I feel like these techniques reduce the horror i feel about my procrastination, and thus take the power of the fear away, such that it's possible to get more done.
So, kat, welcome. You are not alone.