Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Monday 24 March 2008
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Grail's Check-in-from-the-Future - Tuesday
It's 6.20pm,
but I've done maybe, an hours work today, so I'm going to be here a while longer, and I thought maybe if I used the check-in it would help.
I have 8 tests and one long test to do for one project.
And 2 tests for the other.
And after work, I would like to go to a social event. Eventually. I think I can get away with just getting there at the end in 2-3 hours.
*fingers crossed*
Here's to getting as much of it done as possible!
Umm, I do have a problem which is slightly more than my usual disorganisation though - My head is terribly foggy.
Feels stuffed with cotton wool, things are a little 'shiny' looking, and I keep getting afterimages/blobs in my vision. But it's not really achy, and I don't think I feel sick. I've had food, a cup of tea, and water. Urgh.
Ok.
It is a little achey, and I can't think of anything else, so I'll take an ibuprofen and a berroca hope it's just a headache and will *go away*.
Depressed ramble - ignore. :P
Headache gone, but it's 2 hours later, and I haven't done a lick of work.
Using quaint metaphors does not improve the situation.
:(
Extreme reluctance to even click on the tab with the work I have open.
I can't even open the tab. Jesus.
Ummm. I had a really good weekend? Like, had a really busy weekend with social activities, and was late to some, but went to all but one which I cancelled on. And last night, panicked and thought I'd have to do the washing - and I already had. It was dry and had been sitting on the line a few days.
Ok, that's me distracting myself from the work. Crap. Crap crap crap.
Open the tab. Open the tab... do work.
Ok, I'm hungry. I want to get some food.
Not happening either.
What do people do when they're just... immobile? Or is that just me?
I think I could close things if I just gave up on it. Eventually. I might get caught up reading websites. Checking one more time to see if there's email.
I'm sitting here because I'm hoping that I'll actually snap out of it and do some work. If I don't, then what? Go home, get some sleep etc? Except I *know* when I'm tired like this, I'll just zombie out at home too, and just... not go to sleep. I'll pick something up, or open a webpage, and start reading. And not be able to close it, even when I'm falling asleep at the chair (that was night before last). *Especially* because I'm falling asleep at the chair. This is me when I'm tired. I shouldn't let myself get tired, but I'm disorganised, and if screw up and get tired, then it forms a vicious cycle for the week because I can't control myself well enough to get to sleep early and fix it.
But. Oh god. The work is piling up. If I could just have a couple of *good* days, I'd get back on track.
If it was a Friday night, I'd probably set an alarm and go to sleep on the couch for a few hours, and then get some done when I wake up. In the early hours of the morning. God I suck. I suck so much.
And telling myself that doesn't help.
I'm not sure what I should be doing. I feel like if I let myself go home, then that's just rewarding my stupid subconscious for not wanting to do work, but... I've done this before. I do this often. Making myself stay at work for hours until it gets done, and dammit. Often it doesn't. I just have to leave or I'll be catching a taxi home instead of a bus. Except I've often left it too late anyway when I realise that, so I do have to get a taxi.
...
Oh great, I've spent the last 20 minutes looking up Alchoholics Online, and the success rates, and the PA Tools, and distraction and motivation on wikipedia, blah blah blah and it doesn't help.
But. I really should leave now, because I'm not going to get any work done, but I will really, really try to go home, eat dinner, and go *straight to bed*. And I need to do that now...
Or I'll miss the next bus.
*headdesk*
grail's depressed ramble
what you posted here is so familiar to me. I don't know why we get so stuck, so unable to do the littlest thing in the right direction. I am a prodigal 12 stepper. But for me, when I post about being stuck it helps. The other thing that really helps me is working in the chatbox talking to myself. I am not sure why, but it seems like I am there with all my fellow procrastinators in a place where I can share my discomfort but also take the microsteps needed to move on. Mainly what helps me is working the steps: Coming to believe that I am powerless over my procrastination, coming to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity, and becoming willing to turn my life and will over to that higher power, as I understand it.
There are days, many of them, when I simply can't do it. Only a force greater than myself can get me out of my way to take action. And when that happends for me, as it seems to occasionally, it is a bloody miracle, because I don't know how or why my attitude shifted and why it becomes possible to do what I have been frozen with.
Thinking of you.
I had a slight upturn -
I had a slight upturn - I missed the bus, but, I managed to get 10 minutes of work in, just to finish the things I'd started this morning.
It may not sound like much, but it helped my mental state. I kept not wanting to leave because I didn't want to leave it unfinished, and as it turned out, once I closed every other window so they were the only things open, I was able to 'just finish those off'.
Past a certain point in the evening, if I'm not working, I need to leave. I've told myself this before, but really, really. I need to leave. If I happen to start working 'just to finish stuff off' that's cool - but the second I hit a block, I need to go. I'm not accomplishing anything by staying.
Anyway, I'll go home, I'll sleep, tommorow will be better!
I'm smiling, but I also feel just a tiny bit like crying. Only 5% though.
Thank you so much, e. I was feeling kind of alone, because I figured no one would be up now, because of my timezone. Thank you for being there.
Grail Tuesday CO
Oh, and on (my) Tuesday after that day, I went home,
and ended up tidying my room for a bit...
Not actually the going to bed straight away like I was supposed to, but sometimes I do that. I'm so *blocked* in one area, I run off and do something else entirely. It was nice being able to give some order to things (and when I say 'some', I mean some... my room is about as bad as my procrastination).
But anyway, this means it's not lack of energy, or concentration (not entirely), it's an actual block that I need to work with and get over. That actually makes me feel a little better than the times where it was just a depressed mode/mood - not much you can do about that.
block i need to get over
your pattern seems very much like mine, Grail. I find that when I say I am going to do something, I change plans midway and do it differently. I don't know whether you feel that way, but it almost feels like I am rebelling against myself as the authority who is telling me to do something! And then there is relief at actually making effort, any effort, even if it is not on what I had told myself authoritatively I would do.
Re: Block (was: Exactly!)
Exactly!
And it's like, at the end of the day, I'm getting work done via reverse psychology - telling myself I have to go home. I don't rebel against other people - if someone has something that needs to be done, it gives me motivation, because someone actually *needs* that. But I'm always rebelling against my own needs, and self-directed tasks!
Actually, I think it's also that as soon as I start procrastinating on something, I start associating the negative consequences of not doing the task with the task *itself*, and that freezes me up, and makes me avoid even thinking about it - poof! I'm not worried! In fact, I haven't even thought about it for the last hour!
I noticed you talked about EFT - that seems like the sort of thing that would be good to work on that with, unfortunately EFT is not effective for me (I've tried it a number of times, on a number of different issues, with much suggestions and help from friends - no results at all), but I wish it was.
we are everywhere
I spent some time going through the membership lists to see if there was anyone else in Athens, where I live. It was eye opening: there are members everywhere! Not everyone is active, not everyone posts, but it was good to know that there was one other person where I am: I noticed at least one more person than you from New Zealand. Those of us who are more comfortable in writing our thoughts out tend to post: those who are not outgoing tend to read the forums, the article and search for help through the writings of others. Your insight is of great benefit to me. In OA sharing in meetings is a service to others: it is through the sharing of our pain, frustration, hopes and fears that other members recognize their suffering is a common dilemma.
I have noticed that for a long time I had a pattern: I could not work during work hours: it was only after hours that I would feel able to take steps in the work that I had been dreading during the day. I found it to be a huge relief to get something, anything done. I don't know why: perhaps it is a form of demand resistance for me: the 8 year old in me refusing to do her chores unless it is voluntarily offerred.
In any case, I am glad you were able to have some success, despite the fact that you missed the bus. And I am usually alone when I check in during the day, so I am grateful for your presence, too.
Have a good rest!
sending hugs from Europe - e
grail
I hope you feel better soon. My worryer/fix it/control freak instinct got triggered when you mentioned vision changes: please take good care of yourself.
Hey, sorry to worry you!
Hey, sorry to worry you!
But thank you for the thought, and I am good.
The fog did go away after the ibuprofen, so I'm pretty sure it was a headache.
(And it was just - after effect type things, not big vision changes)
It's stupid, but I think I've just got a funny pain tolerance, and sometimes just don't notice aches, just the side-effects. Like, I won't notice that I have a headache, but I'll wonder why my pillow feels *so hard* and I'm having trouble going to sleep. ;P
I'm trying to be *slightly* more observant than I used to be.
Oh. Bus!
pro's CI - 9:55pm
I was up almost all night last night, and then had to get up for work this morning. Tonight I want to wash the dishes and get to bed early. Getting up from the computer now...
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Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.
Recycler CE 2:50pm EST
Hi Pink Panther & everyone! :)
I'm starting the day over at 3pm EST lol ;)
Today is a rare day off from work, so I used this morning to get 2 procrastinated errands done :)
(1) I ordered pantyhose on-line, because the price is better & I can get my size & color immediately.
(2) This morning I took in my car to have routine maintenance, which went fine :) While I could drop my car off & get it back later, I took a book with me and read, which was also fine :)
After getting myself & the car home, the effort had been somewhat overwhelming, so I rested, then napped. (which is possible on a day off lolololol)
Yay -- recharged now after my nap!
Afternoon projects:
To do:
unload clothes dryer
put 2nd load washed clothes in clothes dryer
unload dishwasher
straighten lower level
brush teeth & floss
put gym-bags in car trunk
put Goodwill box in car trunk
go to Goodwill on way to support group meeting
buy phone card for extra minutes :)
Thanks, E, for your encouragement, and everyone for being here. I still have things to do on my list, but feel happier today! :)
Hugs! :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
there's this song i like
there's this song i like called, would you believe it, "Procrastinating", which has this line, which i sing to myself repeatedly:
"it's 3am, no better time to begin."
But for you it's only 3PM!
maybe creative people (eg, song writers) are more susceptible to procrastination?
sounds good
sounds good, r. glad to hear you're feeling positive now.
Thanks, Clement!
Thanks, Clement! :)
I'm going to be singing that song now ;)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
kromer 9 (PT) CI Swallow some frogs
I have all sorts of tasks I'm dreading today, but I'm going to do them anyway!
I want to get as much of the bad stuff done this morning as possible, so I can enjoy seeing my friend this afternoon, and be a little more relaxed during spring break.
Here are my dreaded tasks, plus explanations to myself about why I shouldn't put them off
*Do my taxes
This is pretty easy (I'm a student, it's not like I have any money:) ), but I still hate dealing with financial stuff. But if I do it today I won't have to think about it for another year!
*Email graduate schools with my decisions
This is exciting, but also kind of sad, because it means next year I'll definitely be far away from some of my very good friends. But I'm sure (or as sure as I can be) that this is the right decision. Waiting won't change anything, except for annoying the head of my grad program! So I should just suck it up and do it.
*Read !#$! paper about test data set.
This has been on my to-do list for, um, a month at least. And it will take all of 30 minutes. And it's really important. Grr to me! I'm not going to bed until it's done.
*Go running
I've gotten a bit out of shape, and now I dislike running because it reminds me of my un-fit-ness. I need to remember that I can go slow and take breaks, and that it'll feel really good to get back in shape.
OK, up next:
*Email grad program to tell them I'm coming DONE! Now I can't back out!
*Address official reply form
*Print out itinerary for reimbursement form
*Tidy up my room a bit
*Fill out federal tax form
kromer 1 (PT) CI
Did almost all of the above (all except printing out itinerary, since I've had a hard time finding a time to use the printer).
Also went running, did my California tax return, started my Massachusetts tax return, and had a healthy lunch.
Next, I'm going to finish my MA tax return, print out itinerary, and go have tea with my friend (mailing reply form+reimb. form on the way).
When I get back I'm going to finish reading the stoopid paper (and if I need to check in every page and/or talk myself through it in the chatbox, then that's what I'll do)
kromer 10:40 (PT) CI
OK, not exactly racing along, but I'm making progress.
I have finished all my tax returns. I still have to check them over, photocopy them, and mail them, but I think I've done enough for today.
I replied to 1 graduate program. I'll reply to 2 others now, and leave the rest for tomorrow.
So now the only real task is to finish the stoopid paper. I'll get it and a highlighter out, then join the chatbox and talk my way through it. Not sure why I have a block on such a simple task, but who said procrastination was logical?
Ready, set, go!
kromer next morning checkback!
I finished the paper! (With lots of talking to myself in the chatbox). It wasn't even that bad!
happy for kromer
feels nice to have that monkey off your back, huh? way to go. keep moving.
chatbox wonder
isn't it odd that it is so helpful? being in there alone can be like talking to your self-conscious. Glad you found it helped with the silly paper.
virtual chatbox support
i think when i talk in there i imagine what y'all would say, and it's as if y'all have said it. Which, of course, is all stuff i *know* already. Still, it's encouraging. You're right, e, it's a bit of a mystery. HP?
Journey 11 am
Got pulled into an unexpected planning meeting for new project.
NOTE TO SELF: Do not try to take over project meetings, even if things are not going as quickly as I would like. One does not want to be thought of as a pushy b*tch, does one? Especially with people of other cultures where women are typically more submissive. Do not, under any circumstances, stand up and shout in a very American fashion: 'Stop talking about it and just DO something already!'
So now, I'm doing the desk organizing and todo listing that I had intended to do earlier.
Back at noon-fifteen.
Jo
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” - Stephen Covey
lol journey
Did you really stand up and say lets do something already, or was it just a fantasy?? I have wanted to do that SOOOOO many times. If you did so you are my IDOL!!!!!
I did not stand up and shout at them lol
But I am afraid I did let my frustration show a bit by saying that we needed to be able to report some progress at our next meeting, rather than just schedule another meeting to talk about the same stuff all over again.
But the poor guy is leading his first project, it's his job to assign tasks and I think he is afraid to do so. I really want to encourage him, rather than just taking over and pushing him around, which I have been known to do . . . lol . . .
Jo
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” - Stephen Covey
control freaks r us
sometimes I find I have to literally sit on my hands to keep from taking control of meetings. I am NOT good at that and I need to practice letting other people lead....
keep doing the right thing
i admire your restraint. Sounds like you know the right path. May god give you the strength to follow it.
Journey 2 pm
organized my desk and made my list . . . so what if it's already two in the afternoon lol? going to spend half an hour on toastmaster's stuff since I blew off the meeting today.
Jo
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” - Stephen Covey
Journey 3:15
Did what i could for toastmaster's today and now working on OPM project until the end of the day.
Planning to leave at 5 or so and get to the gym in time for 6:30 yoga class.
Home about 8 ish - have dinner and take a bath, spend 1/2 hour on dishes/laundry, then whatever time I have left I can play World of Warcraft ! . I can actually stay up until 10 pm these days since I'm getting up at 6 instead of 5 for a while.
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” - Stephen Covey
nice attitude
nice attitude. you're getting back up on the horse and trying it again!
thanks clement!
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” - Stephen Covey
Journey 9:30 chicken bones? (moved from duplicate day thread)
From journey - moved from duplicate day thread.
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Good morning, and welcome to Judgenot, thanks for starting us out this am.
I don't want to know what you are planning to do with those chicken bones.
I'm back in the office today and glad to be here. I'm also glad that my mood has improved from last week! I don't usually struggle with depression, which many of you deal with on a daily basis. My normal struggle is wanting to do so many things that I can't focus on one at a time.
But, last week I just didn't feel like doing ANYTHING, including getting out of bed. I felt achy and tired all day and couldn't put my heart into any activities - I just forced myself to go through the motions. If this is what you guys deal with all the time, you certainly have my sympathies.
But, here we are with a new week. DD is hobbling around school for the first three days of this week, then Thursday she has knee surgery and then we'll have some recovery to do. She won't be able to drive for several weeks so DH and I will be trading off taking her to school and picking her up. I've arranged with him to deal with dinner for a few days so that I can go to the gym in the evenings. That gives me a break from figuring out what we're going to eat for a few days too. I don't mind cooking but let me tell you, after 30 years of planning and carrying out meal plans for a family I am pretty sick and tired of it.
So, time to get to work.
First -
catch up on email
straighten my desk
make my todo list for the day.
back in an hour or so . . .
Jo
check-in from judgenot (moved from duplicate day thread)
From judgenot - moved from duplicate day thread.
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Hi all, new here. I've already spent the whole weekend completely avoiding any semblance of real things to be done. I can usually kick into active mode for a couple days but I always fall back into the hole.
Here's my list for after class (3pm):
-put everything in perspective-- it helps and motivates me to see that I really do want to do these things.. it helps to think about how good I'll feel once they're all over.
)
-start Machiavelli paper (suppose to be due today)
-figure out wed. homework and start it
-figure out thurs. homework
-clean room
-try and get some chicken bones (I'm in art school
-consider what would be good to do for my life
I'm going to report after each task gets done.
welcome J! (moved from duplicate day thread)
From clement - moved from duplicate day thread.
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well no one here is going to judge you for "avoiding" during your weekend. At least no more than we judge ourselves. Altho we can be pretty hard on ourselves after an "outbreak" of procrastination. We won't turn that on you!
I hope you are encouraged that you took a big, positiive step posting here and checking in. If you like, i'll check in later (and likely others will too) to hold you accountable. Dont worry if you didnt do everything (or even anything) on your list. Whatever you've done (even if it's just checking in) is better than nothing!
Welcome!
Lark at 9:50 am(and 4:55pm)
Hi everyone. Something I used to do, but seldom do now is make a hard copy of my daily goals. While I enjoy CIing here, sometimes it's far more efficient to merely glance at a paper list. Also, it's hard to get too caught up in "surfing the notebook". For work, there's alot to do, but nothing really urgent. That can be a trap. There's alot of clutter inside and outside, so that should be a good goal. Then there's a project I haven't touched in a while, so touching it may be a good first step toward completion.
Today:
(X)morning things
(X)spiritual (not me) time
(X)add up client's bill first
begin work project A
damp mop bedroom floor
(X)put lawn chair together and outside
(X)order supplies
(X)hour on work project B
(X)check in after lunch
e's morning check in
Good night to everyone who are still on Sunday and good morning to those of us who are in Monday!
I have just finished my water and meds and am about to hop in the shower. I went through a spurt of energy last night and sorted some things into piles that I have to cope with soon.
today what I want to achieve:
call MF on taxes
write letter to fax him for 2007
pay bill for Wind
walk to work DONE
finish up research on FR and send to Dr. B
write Dr. P
change bedding
wash mophead
continue with sewing
grocery shop!!! DONE clean out fridge! menu plan!
signed dreaded contract DONE
more later: I will lose the shower if I don't go now
movingalong's Monday goals
Goals for Monday:
Do main tasks at work
Not get bogged down by details
Listen to my boss