Have had a long interview day.Now it's time to do my homework, ugh!
Tasks:Go home (Done)Call parents (Done)Paper summarySpanish compositionGo over pset 2 answers (Done)Go over pset 1 answersEmail about bug (still haven't done!)Email about tutoringOther Spanish HW
It was a bit of a better day, mainly because I spent the evening following up with the tax guy who I suspect is a fellow procrastinator (or simply has too much on his plate!) I had put aside my pile of financial aid and taxes and so went scrounging through it tonight to see what deadlines I have coming up.
for tomorrow:fax Mgray the latest datafax w2 information to Bentleyprint out completed fafsa to correctdry run the 2007 taxes
find photography bid and fax itfinish box lists for artifactsset aside space for new deliveriespublications: sort through college catalogsabstract (no, i did not touch it today)
confirm which week to book vacation - negotiate with A and G on which week to go
contact teachers on c's evaluation and check on current progress
plan dinner for ingredients in house
gratitude:today I am grateful for skype, which allowed me to talk at length without fretting. I am grateful for waking up before my alarm clock goes offrI am grateful for having been willing to change my sheetsI am grateful for putting together a healthy, tasty, quick dinner that everyone likedI am grateful for sticking to my guns with CI am grateful for being willing to make amends on time so that my relationships are not soured.
MITs @ work- lecture slides to K1- article review guide to K2- data entry to A
MITs @ home- gather, turn over, put away laundry- clean up & organize a bit- go through cookbooks, websites for ideas on menu planning
MITs @ me- launch balloons with little one- visualize, prepare, relax for tomorrow's talk- go to sleep
Never enough hours in my day.I am far more grateful for this online community than it may show.
x antibioticsx regular medsx showerx call Dina and ask about workday- fh- tomorrow's clothes- laundry- prep tomorrow lunch
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action - Walter Anderson
Well, I couldn't completely figure out the process for downloading the software, so I had to ask for help. Do you guys hate doing that as much as I do? I will waste hours trying to figure something out by myself when it could be solved by asking a couple of questions. I just hate to admit that I can't do something by myself.
off to toastmasters . ..
when I come back, I need to open a trouble ticket with IBM, then, not sure what's next - that's where I get into trouble so I will come back here.
"Finish your MITs, then take a nap!" - Leo Babauta
Done with that small task, my coworker is coming in here at 2:00 and we're working on OPMS together so that should keep me on task through the end of the day. I just need to get directions to my class tomorrow before I leave!
I attending a meeting and finished reviewing my notes from last week. Now I'm going to take a short break and then review the procedures for s/w download before going to Toastmasters at noon. I will check in today at every transition since I'm struggling today . . .later
Ditto what Freer said about gratitude for this group and accountability!
i committed 4 hours of dissertation work (after a week of none!) and have spent the last hour reading "real estate porn" on the internet. **sigh**
Time to get to the library and photocopy and return books.
Thank you all for being here.
Sometimes it's one minute at a time for me.
Turning it over,
Back from the library. Now I have about and hour and 20 more minutes of dissertation work I need to do.
I need to do a quick checkin and then go... I just spent 20 minutes looking for cell phones. It's something I need to do, but not today and especially not at 8:45- grrr. I keep forgetting that procrastination is a daily/hourly struggle for me.
wrap up B workinvoicesc Dbookend by 2
I'm grateful for this group's accountability and support!
-wrap up B workinvoicesc Dbookend by 2
I only did one out of four, but I got further on the one than I expected.
Good morning! I think I have a touch of my family's cold or flu, but not too bad. If it doesn't get any worse than this, I'll be fine, but I am a little slow this morning. This is a day that the temptation to procrastinate will be strong because a) I'm not feeling my best b) I don't have any looming deadlines or urgent tasks c) I have several things I could start on but not sure which one to do first.
X - GymX - Read emailX - Daily Planning- read about OPSM *MIT- check budget *MIT- Toastmasters- Check primavera access * MIT- get directions to primavera class *MIT- draft letter to IRS - this is the tax thing that I've been putting off for months. *MIT I finally called them in Jan and asked for advice, now I need to follow through. I will work on this today for at least 10 minutes. It can't be that bad. - review fixes for my next oncall - need to work on this about 1/2 hour a day- s/w update - review the process- review my notes from Friday and make sure I know what I did! - if time, start on script updates for failover- dishes/laundry- dinner is in the fridge ready for dd to slide in the oven! yay! - stack of mail aka the PILE - 10 X - wps project status meeting
Hi everyone. Yesterday turned out to be a bad day, and I just don't want it to continue into today. Procrastinating this morning won't ultimately make anything better, either. Something went awry with work, and I need to take care of things. That's today's priority. Once I get a start, I'll check in around lunch.
Athlete: WorkoutHusband: Find a jobson: find a jobFather: Find a jobbrother: find a jobMIT: Find a job
Douglas, will you be able to collect unemployment? If so, they have great resources to help people find work. If not, there are often good career counseling available through local colleges.
When I find myself in my kicking my butt around the block mood, I find that there are tools available here which will help to break down tasks into manageable sizes. For instance: what are the steps that you can take to help yourself find a job? It may help to list them here: ie, brush up resume, call contacts, read help wanted online, etc.
You seem a bit... single minded lately, which is to be expected: however, unless you financially support these other folks, does being a good brother or son mean finding a job? When I was let go from a job and was ashamed of being canned for not doing a good enough job I found it helpful to remember that first and foremost, even if I was unemployed I was still a good: cook, I had good friends and family who loved me, I was a worthwhile person, that there are things I do well. I miss the Douglas who would come on here and blow my mind with his insight into so many things: I know he is still there, but is hiding in a cave licking his wounds. This is a safe place to share: keep coming back.
You're too generous to me. I am being humbled by life right now and I am slowly getting back up. The greatest disappointment is letting my loved ones down. I so badly want to be their hero, and then this happens.
I don't know about women, but men's ego's are so very tied in to their accomplishments. I'm sure women share much of the same psyche, but I know men want respect above all else. Self respect is hard to come by when you so frequently fail.
My goal is to become someone who carries my weather with me, so that whether or not (no pun) it is gray skies or blue, My heart will not condemn me.
warm thoughts to you and all our friends here.
Douglas, You said "men's ego's are so very tied in to their accomplishments." I agree. I would add that they are very tied to their jobs. Job title/income=value of man. It's a lie, of course, but I find it a very deeply ingrained belief. I feel beaten down by my lack of work stability and income. In my 20s and early 30s it wasn't a big deal, but as I've moved into my 40s, it feels like a weight that has grown exponentially. I have no problem saying I'm powerless over my addiction to procrastination, because I feel powerless across the board. One of the most significant tasks I face right now is to refute this toxic, self-indulgent belief. I am powerless over my addiction, but I am powerful in many ways. It's easy for me to want to give up when I compare myself to friends who I see as successful in their careers. I need to run my own race at my own pace. I'm not a banker who will retire at 60. But my "textured" career has created a wealth of inner strengths that now serve me going forward. This is countercultural. It's why groups like this are so essential for me. I need my alternative vision reinforced by like-minded people. I very much relate to your desire to be a hero to your children. But I need to question whether my idea of a hero is the same as their idea of a hero. I picked up my son from Kindergarten today. It wasn't a big deal to me...it was to him. If I worked 80 hours this week and made a lot of money, I might have been a hero in my own mind, but not in his.
Looking back on my own meandering path through the work force, I am delighted with the twists and turns it has taken. If it were not for those detours I would bring a lot less insight to my work, no matter what it is.
Perhaps it is a matter of family culture: I was raised in a household where the work you did was more important than the money you earned. It has been a quest to find a career that mattered, not just to me, but that also made a positive impact on others (I am a PK). I identify very much with the hero aspect of things, but from the perspective of social change. It is both the bane and the delight of my existance that the bar was set so high, but it means that my perfectionism paralyzes me.
Freer, you remind me of what truly is important: it is not the self seeking behavior which I wrestle with, but that which I do for others without that motivation that matters.
I absolutely understand where you are at: this is the shameful root of procrastination. The person I disappoint the most is myself.
I have a little extra time tomorrow morning, since I'm working a later shift. It would be easy both to overplan (thinking I have a lot of time when it's really just an extra hour/hour & a half) and to blow it off by sleeping in or putzing around.
Here's a few priorities I could focus on instead:
Happy Monday, everyone!
I am in a bad pattern of procrastinating right now and I need to acknowledge it and then give it over to HP so I can move on. I go to work and get nothing accomplished until the day is done and THEN I am putting in productive time for an hour or two. I see that pattern taking over my life and I am not happy about it. I am in deep fear of failure at the moment and I am paralyzed by it, so I want to say it so I don't obsesss anymore about it.
I am leaping ahead from midnight here to plan the work day as I am letting too many things slide
to do:make doctor appointmentscheck on lab resultsbook vacation or get off the potsend requisition for photographer to business officefinish reading Dr. P's thing and send it to Dr. Bfinish research on FR and send it on to O.write a rough and ready abstract to submitorder photographic storage suppliesshine sink at workinstant bosswater, meds, walk to workfind papers so i can set up transfer of moneymail in extremely overdue international license applicationdeal with old moldy insurance issues for surgerymail in Forbes stuffread a chapter in K.A.finish filingplan supper/cook itdeal with C's schoolworkchange beddingreadings/journaling/quiet timewalk to work
much more tomorrow: feeling a bit better already
"I go to work and get nothing accomplished until the day is done and THEN I am putting in productive time for an hour or two."
Oh, man, when I joined these boards that's exactly what I was doing! Why do we do this to ourselves!? Hang in there . ..
isn't that strange? Do you have any idea why you were in that pattern? How did you get out of it?
Good for you that you're facing your fear & acknowledging it; that's hard to do.
It's o.k. to fail sometimes, btw. It doesn't mean that you're a failure. The only way to never fail is to never take any risks (which would make it tough to change or grow.)
Hang in there,
you bite off so much... sometimes I get concerned about you but I'm proud you have foresight and it's obvious your self image is strong.
I heard a great saying the other day. If you planned a trip from New York to Los Angeles and could only travel at night, your headlights would only show you 200 feet of road at a time, but you could drive it all the way, because that all you need to see... the next 200 feet.
I encourage you not to load your list with so much that you collapse under the weight of it. The mere sight of your list makes my knees buckle! Take it 200 feet at a time, and you'll get to LA just in time for dinner on Malibu and the weekend on the beach!
It is helpful to read your words. I have failed before and got myself back up again: I often fail at what is most important to me because it is what I fear the most. You are right, Falcon: even when I fail I am not a failure and in fact, often something much better grows out of my experience from it.
Douglas, your metaphor helps me stay in the moment: something I need to do. In fact my list does not skim the surface of what is on my mind, but if I could do any one of the MITs on it I would feel much, much better.
One day at a time, one instant boss 20 minute period of work at a time, one frog at a time!
watch out frogs!
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