I'm new, introduction
I am most certainly a chronic procrastinator.
I'd spent a long time, all through my high school and college years up until this point trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Why I acted the way I did , regardless of the direness of the circumstances and/or the importance of the task that needed doing. It was never that I didn't understand the consequences it was always that I could rationalize any thing to myself (ex: "Now isn't the best time I should do it later" and then it never gets done). The few counselors I've seen over the years haven't given me much in the way of answers, one helped quite a bit with getting over some of my shyness but that's about it.
I wandered by accident across this site a few days ago. I was happy to find something, somewhere, that finally described almost perfectly what I've been dealing with (I can identify strongly with 8 of the signs). For years I've been disappointing myself my parents and my friends and whenever I've tried to explain to them what's going on with me they couldn't accept what I was saying, that I could have this much lack of control over things. I know how irrational it all is, and I suppose that's what makes it hard for other people to connect to the idea of it.
I am so tired of it, of screwing up everything and disappointing everyone. I'm finishing up my sophomore year in college right now, and I've barely kept my head above water here, even though I'm smart and I don't go out partying, I screw up doing all the long term work and assignments and that kills me. Yet again I've let my work get behind and pile up on me, things have been turned in late or not at all. I was put on academic probation after my semester in the fall, and the way things are going I expect I'll have to take a year off suspended because of a low GPA. Even with all that weighing on my head I'm still procrastinating.
From this point forward I'll be working to changing the best I can, I have to.
Thanks for listening,
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i'm in a very similar situation
but I'm a junior in college, though I"m really supposed to be sophmore right now. long story. but, i'm at my worst right now. I do things I really want to do, but not the things i really need to do. This semester at school is probrably going to be my worst. I know.Even when I really want to do something, I don't. And I hate myself for it...
Welcome to the group, Ian
Do you have an overall feeling of powerlessness and apathy in your life? If so, you may want to see a professional about depression. My depression first clobbered me in college, and I too was suspended due to poor grades.
More to the point of procrastination... You didn't get into this situation overnight, and you won't be able to get out overnight either. Don't be surprised or disappointed if you fall back into old habits -- that's just the way habits work.
I'm sure you've heard the advice to break your projects down into small pieces and then tackle those pieces -- to a certain extent, that's just common sense. What some people don't mention is that this method should help focus you on the small pieces, instead of the big projects that may make you anxious for various reasons. Once you get some of those small things done, you build momentum that can keep you going as you tackle the next pieces.
Don't worry about all the things that might have been -- missed opportunities, missed deadlines, those sorts of things. Just start from wherever you are, and start new each day. Don't worry about what's not finished, but think about where you can start today. Keep starting, and finshing can take care of itself.
Thank you :)
Thank you for your response, I'll start looking into it and trying to impliment some sort of system for myself. I've been looking around for a counselor to go to. I've been a few of the free ones my university offers on campus but they weren't very helpful. I think I'll be taking a close look at the private practices in the area and try and find something. Luckily it's not an issue of depression yet for me, not to say I haven't been disheartened and slipping into "What the hell is wrong with me", but I've got a lot of friends here and my girlfriend has agreed to stick by me through counseling to see if it'll help me fix things. So I'm hoping that and working with what I've found here will be able to pull me out of this issue running my life for me.
Look into GTD
You may want to take a look at David Allen's "Getting Things Done" method to help keep your commitments and actions organized. There are lots and lots of online GTD resources, if you want to learn more.
GTD is actually what highlighted my procrastination, since I used to think my problem was poor organization. Once I was organized, the responsibility really was mine to get my stuff done.