Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

being kind to myself

17 August, 2020 - 12:44am - pa_in_recovery

so i've been using the PA chatbox for like 7 years now. and through some emotional work that i'm doing right now, i'm able to see that i have kind of been using action as a big stick to beat myself up with. that's not the whole story: i also enjoy working hard, and i've accomplished some important things for myself. but there is a punitive element that i'm now ready to let go of. 

and letting go of it will probably mean doing less for awhile, or at least doing less of the things that are high priority but unpleasant. 

and i just want to be okay with that and have appropriate expectations for the next few months. the part of my ego often screaming at me that i'm "behind" or "lazy" or "losing" is likely going to get quite loud, but if i can just refrain from reacting to it, then in about 3-6 months i'll be in a really good place. 

so basically i have 7 years worth of body memory from coming here, and i just need to be aware of that as i try to rewrite some tapes. but it's definitely a success that i see the need to rewrite them. 

‹ I Can't Believe I'm Finally Finished! going on holiday ›

love this

katia11 - 18 Aug 2020 - 11:19am

(I hope it's ok I comment on this)

Thanks so much for sharing, pa_in_recovery. I can relate to a LOT of this. I have been going through a bit of a crisis (metamorphosis?) and trying to figure out how to be kind to myself, which is remarkably hard after telling myself I'm a piece of crap for at least 12 years (possibly more?). I can definitely relate to the mindset of "completing tasks = good, not completing tasks = bad/lazy". Trying to unlearn a lot of stuff.  

Best of luck on your journey, I hope it helps you are not alone :)