I am a new member and I am so, so relieved to know I am not the only one with
this awful problem. I have felt so alone and embarrassed but now I know there
are people out there like me who are doing things despite their challenges. I
have never talked to anyone about my procrastination problem and only realised
what this problem exactly was a few years ago.
As far back
as I can remember I hardly ever finished anything. I remember in high school I
hardly drew any diagrams for my biology class homework and then suddenly the
teacher wanted to go through our work in class and mark them. I was horrified
and hurriedly had to start copying all my best friend’s diagrams – her book was
full and I only had two diagrams. Also for my final year exams in high school,
I truly do not know how I passed certain subjects as my studying was plagued by
procrastination. I’m not proud believe me and often wonder what is wrong with
me that I am immobilised. I seem to be fairly intelligent but I haven’t done
much with it as I keep procrastinating. I would rather do enjoyable things than
start and maintain work. I have thought what underlies my problem and I think
perfectionism, my need for instant gratification, fear of failure and fear of
success are reasons. I also believe I have ADHD without a doubt. I cannot focus
for longer than a few minutes (unless I am watching movies :) when I want to do
I have this
big project I need to restart and complete. I have hardly worked on it and it
has been years. I’m so ashamed and I feel like this big failure to my parents
and partner. They all think that I have been working on it but I haven’t really
worked on it much at all. I read a few lines and then I have to do something
else. This has resulted in chronic depression.
I want to
achieve in my life even if I have this problem. I don’t need to achieve
monumental goals at the moment just tiny ones. Thank you for being here as a
support and for listening. I look forward to joining you in action.
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You are amongst friends. Have a look around, consider trying out the check in board or the chat box. I have found them very useful in getting stuff done. Even something tiny towards your project can help remove some of the shame and fear.
Good luck and we'll see you around.
Thank you for your welcome! Yes, I think perhaps I will use the check-in or chat to commit to doing some work.
Following one's own advice
I think perhaps I should consider my own advice. I have not had a productive morning thusfar. Time to change that I think.
Thanks for sharing, Kawaiineko...
Hopefully sharing the truth of your situation with us has lifted some of the heavy emotional weight that has been holding you back from tackling the task in question. For me personally, I've discovered that sharing the truth about my failures with my partner and a couple close friends has been a very healthy and helpful experience. The intense shame and the feeling that I had to hide the truth from everyone were both draining my emotional reserves. Sharing the truth gave other people the chance to show that they supported me and still cared for me, despite my failures. Sharing the truth with your partner might not be a good choice for you at this point -- you certainly know that better than anyone else. If you would want your partner to share the same type of info with you, though, perhaps it's worth considering your decision to bear this burden in isolation from those who love you.
Regardless of any of that, welcome to PA! We wish you all the best and are happy to have your company.
Thank you for your advice and welcome! Yes, I think I do need to share this at some point. But for now, I am just trying to make sense of it myself and share it with people here that actually know what it's like to have this.
Thank you, thank you!