Given a last chance to change my habits
I failed the prerequisite course for my terminal (thesis) studio, due to a lack of effort and persistant procrastination, and because I flat out didn't complete the tasks I was supposed to. I was called into my professor's office today and he said he was surprised that I had failed. He wanted to know what was going on so he could make a judgement about whether to bend the system to let me continue to my thesis studio.
I told him that I had time management problems, that I'd been allowed to barely slip by year after year, and that I'd developed a habit of laziness. He didn't like what he heard. I was told that, aganst his better judgement (he noted that most students who fail the prerequisite but are allowed to continue, ending up failing the actual studio) he would give me the option of continueing.
He noted that i got low feedback scores from other students concerning my level of participation on a group model we had to build. It's true that I didn't participate much. I didn't tell him that I have social anxiety, or that when I was at the group planning meeting my ideas were mostly ignored and people constantly interrupted me, or didnt even bother to register that I was speaking.
The catch is, that if I fail during my actual studio next term, I will be exprelled from my degree.
I've known that this moment was going to happen for a long time... now it's happened.