Returning member (Wingartist39) with new obstacles and goals.

Hello, PA!

It's been a long time. I just wanted to bring out what is going on with my mind and where I am today.

Basically, I just graduated from High School a few months ago. I had 3 As and 3 Bs. The lowest was my 5 Credit College in High School Precalculus course which I had some trouble on conectrating, even when technically failing the final exam (that has less percentages thankfully). My GPA went a little due to my average perfomance in the first semester because I have more Bs than As. Luckily, the rest of the year brought it back up to 3.67 which is still good. Looking back, though, I felt that after all the procrastination books I've read and looking at tips, paid or free, I still haven't found the main reason why I delay tasks and potential interests. Apparently, I found out that impulsive addiction to the computer was one of the reasons I procrastinated, though not much of a surprise. Yes I already know that too much computer time is bad or taking it too far, but the more I reflect on my actions during school and summer along with my life-long interests, the more I see some of the revelance in my search of what I want to do in life.

Come to think of it, I actually wanted to be an artist all this time, but I never got much of a chance to participate in art classes since sophomore year, and art club after school. All I have been doing was going with the flow of what my friends want to participate (mostly Band for all 4 years), and take on challenging courses (mostly math and English, but the writing part benefitted my skills). That's not all, not only I want to be an artist. I wanted to be an animator or filmmaker in the animation business joining up with Disney, Pixar, Dreamworks, and other indie studios out there to contribute to the films and hopefully directing one of my own films  (I know, that is the rare kind of fantasy I could go on talking about it until I graduate) .

The thing about my concerns is that I hadn't been drawing for a long time, only occasionally in my spare time in case I get bored. My other is the college I anticipated to go to as one of the better colleges in Washington state, Western. It has no Animation program, but it has some film studies class I can take, including art ones. The turning point came when I was lamenting on my future goals and where the right college suits my career path. One college has an Animation program, and even though it has a reputation to let students work all day til midnight (I don't know if it's an exaggeration of time management or not), and do their best to prepare students for their career jobs. It's called DigiPen Institute of Technology. I heard that it's more of a video game school, but the animation program is one of the new BFA programs that has the potential to get strong, hopefully.

Over there, I broguht my art porfolio of strangely old drawings I did when I was in art class in High School (The requiremnt was to use drawings from observation within a year). My art portfolio reviewer saw my work, and said that they looked amateurish. He was however indeed to teach the fair minded artists to do their best especially me. But he recommended me to wait for a year to improve my art porfolio and keep drawing daily with help of my tutor I mentioned form Arkansas, and the self-help book: Drawing on the Right Side of the Brian by Betty Edwards (This book is good by the way). I knew that I need to change my thinking immediately.

After listening to his advice while driving back home with my parents, I suffered a panic attack . Yes, I did. See, I was arguing with my parents of my past actions and art education that I SHOULD have done in high school, yet I still look at the computer for updates in the animation fandom, and anticipating the next Epic Mickey 2 game because Oswald the Lucky Rabbit is coming back to Disney (I know I'm getting off topic, but that was one of the ways I procrastinated). Not to mention the money I keep spending on my checking account of my debit card (iTunes mostly). The purchases were old songs and music scores. When my dad found out, he was very concern of where I am going with my old habits, and I tried my best to explain my concerns and solutions to the habit, but all I did is moaning and raising my anger level until I cracked. The panic attack was mindblowing, like I just exploded when my confessions of who I want to be and my impuslive procrastination to my parents took everything by far. I will remember it as one of my worst experiences of dealing with my impulsive mind ever.

Man I've written this post too long! Well let me continue a bit before I do whatever my mind tells me do. So yeah, I did recover from my panic attack, but I went to the computer and mind battling between what is important in life, and what consumes my actions. That confirms my intentions to be an animator and a professional artist with being a good storyteller in the writing field combining them to get involve in the film industry. I am a Disney fan, yes, I love seeing the Looney Tunes cartoons, I love watching movies of the Golden Age of Hollywood, and seeing Japanese Studio Ghibli films that has unique storytelling abilities and character developments.

With that being said, how is my art skills holding up today? Well, I just went to Eureka Springs, Arkansas to see my aunt and his friend who is a successful artist (I love his works and the way he designs and layer them one by one). He told me a story of his amateurish art skills in college where his education was only about letting your heart flow in the canvas. But he wanted to go with the step by step plans in which he learned by himself. His lessons to me during 2 hours of drawing in pen (No pencils in his lessons, except for planning out loosely) were: line depth, textures, contrasts from white (1) to black (5), and composition with center of interest. I did those lessons in 5 days, and I learned faster than what he took in 4 years of a BFA in Art degree program. That was amazing for my concentration. And no procrastination invaded my mind (probably because there's no internet, and different environment blendings). When my time there ended, my mentor advised me that if I don't continue drawing and practicing every day that suits me, my lessons would go away in a few months, and I'm back to square one. Drawing often is what keeps me getting the game of being successful in any art career, including animation.

However, when I got back to my home, I went to the internet all day as my old habits returned to me. Yeah, my parents were doing their best to let me draw, but I still didn't do it up to now. So now what? Well, when I was thinking back on my turning points and procrastination learning, my thought of how impulsive addiction along with the environmental settings came clear to me. Luckily, I bought the Procrastination Equation, and prompt me to go back and write this long and confessional update of me.

I wish I could break down this post into understandable reasons, but I couldn't resist telling you personally what I've been through this summer. To you, it sounds like I had a bad summer again, but the turning points I've mentioned made it less worse and more optimistic of where I am going now. My new goal now is to be an animator and filmmaker. My current goals are to take college courses that are art or film related, plus the transferable courses for other schools, spend in the university for one year and transfer to DigiPen to take animation, keep drawing everyday with my mentor's lessons and self-help drawing book, study other artists' works for inspiration, run constantly to improve my health and speed skills, get involved in clubs at Western even DigiPen, communicate with my old friends through Facebook, Twitter, or Skype, learn to talk more and ask questions with professors during drop in sessions for help, increase my confidence and motivation, keep in track with my unschedule, say my prayers, text with my parents and brother to see how they are doing and how I am doing, Check in Procrastinator Anonymous until I am more productive, get into PA Meetings, Chatbox, and read books more often involving procrastination, bios, artists' wotks, animation, etc.

That's a long lists of goals, but even if I don't do all of these tasks in one time, I will still accept my old ways and flaws of my actions in hope of moving forward in the present time. So I wanted to say thank you for taking this extended time to read my overdue update reflection of my current status. Feel free to commet suggestions and similar stories you want to relate to mine. It's good to be back (As if...) in PA! Now to start drawing (translates to 24/7 Internet entertainment! MuaHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!! ----- OK stop that whoever is typing you compulsive brain part! WHAM!!!! <hits my brain> [I survived people, and yes I have a very imaginative brain capable for art and animation] What I mean is to do my best to get on with my life and as Walt Disney would say, KEEP MOVING FORWARD!).

Sincerely yours,

WingArtist39

Student, Novice Artist in-Training