Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Hello Everyone!

Hi!

This is my first time posting. I joined over a year ago but then put off coming here...what a surprise. -_- 

I have a bit of experience in another 12 step fellowship, but what I've always had a problem with is procrastination. I've had this problem since I was a kid. At school, even though most years I had at least one study hall or free period per day, I could almost never bring myself to do work during them. I would get home, watch tv, eat dinner and then when the clock was really starting to tick, I would start my work.

Fast forward to now, I'm 31 years old and self-employed. I took a year off work to go to grad school two years ago. I made it through successfully, but I know I could have done a lot better if I hadn't been P-ing everywhere, lol. Right after I finished school my father called to yell at me about how I needed to be making money and get a job and bla bla bla. That sucked because I had just worked so hard to finish. Two weeks after that phone conversation he committed suicide. That was just over a year ago. During the past year a lot has happened, but a lot of nothing has also happened. I got married and went traveling for four months. I cried a lot and fought with my mother. I'm not currently speaking to her and I feel like crap about it. The thing that seems to remain constant is my procrastination, always my procrastination. I can't shake it. I feel like I am intelligent and talented. I'm not a social butterfly but I do ok chatting to people when I need to and am a good saleswoman. I have been fortunate enough to have been trained by some of the best in my field. Yet....getting started just seems so hard. I feel like the years are starting to slip away. My self-esteem is virtually non-existant, mainly because of this.

Yesterday I managed to go to a meeting in a town a few hours away to learn about some necessary things for my business. So now today it feels like since I had an ok day yesterday, it's now ok for me to be a complete disaster today. So far all I've done today is exercise, eat, and play on the internet. I've been awake since 9 and it's nearly 5 pm. This is so sad. I really want to change. 

 Hope that message wasn't too long or inappropriate at all. I'm not sure what the rules are! Anyways I am going to learn a bit more today about the group and hopefully I will be joining in on phone meetings and posting to the check-in boards daily. 

Thanks for letting me share.

-Clocky

Welcome, clockypants

First of all, forgive yourself and love yourself.  Don't let other people's opinions waylay you.

You aren't "bad" or "lazy" (or whatever other label)

You are good person who is experiencing paralysis.  With patience, you can gradually find healing, and ways to offset the stuckness.

For me, I find that it it's better  NOT  to make huge to-do lists.

Many of us have "all or nothing" thinking and have unreasonable expectations about what can be done or not.  And then we freeze up.

Sometimes it's better to plan small ... and experience achievement.  The phrase "motivation follows action" really is true.

Hello. I'm not sure of

Hello.

I'm not sure of the rules either as I've just posted for the first time too. But I'm sure nothing you've said here was inappropriate. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's suicide. That must have left you with so many terrible feelings and unresolved issues. I hope you had some good help and support with that. I'm sure that coming on this site for real is the first step to some really good things for you. 

Very best wishes and good luck on here,

EleanorBE