Friday 24 August 2012

"If you feel you're about to drown, remember Tool 1 and Break .. It .. Down"

• Preparation tasks
• Specific action steps

I realized in the chatbox that I need to do preparation tasks FIRST before attempting specific action steps when doing a 10-minute chunk.

I get very anxious and avoid action because of my demand resistance. Preparation is key for me, in everything, and I do it best by thinking through what I'm going to do, which is using the Visualization tool #2 in a way.  Although it's not so much visualizing for me as it is just thinking through each step in my head before I actually do it so I know what to expect. It helps me feel more in control and then I don't have to panic and avoid. 

I also figured out the source of this problem: my mother. Perhaps the reason why I have tremendous resentment for her, and especially now in my current situation. She always used to throw me into situations without giving me preparation -- putting me on the phone, bringing me late to school, enrolling me in activities that already began several sessions before I joined ... that kind of thing I think made me feel out of control as a kid with a desperate need to prepare before I do anything. 

Thank you God for all my 12-step fellowships, including PA. I admitted that I was powerless over my procrastination and avoidance, and that my life had become unmanageable. I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God. Amen. 

Need to get ready for my Bank Holiday weekend away so essential is

A

1. pack clothes - not forgetting kit 
2. phone hotel with eta
3. print off hotel info

I think I'll do 2 & 3 in each section first: B3 A3 A2 B2 because the clothes can be washing while I do everything else, I need the hotel info before I can ring them, and then I'll already be at the phone to ring my Mum.

Skipping days, waking up late, not doing my small tasks: there's still a long way to go.

MORNING

• 30 situps
• Shower
• F Oil
• Mouthwash/brush   
• Shave

1. Bis. brainstorm with supporting materials (30+ minutes)
2. Continue letter
3. Code (20+ minutes)
4. Chanter practise (10+ minutes or 15 on p) 
5. Get frames adjusted

ONGOING  

1. Pet care: afternoon/evening
2. (unmount drive for part; been putting this off forever)
3. Run phone backup (evening)
4. 5 x 10, at least twice
5. Volunteer search (10+ mins); 
6. Look into pc deals
7. Pipes (5+ minutes)
8. (I.C. - completed form + letter and money) 
9. Dishes
10. Lock up house 
11. Mouthwash/brush  
12. Bed before 0100     

- "A procrastinator's work is never done."

I want to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, the telephone and online meetings, and my life.

I want to thank movingalong for starting this trend.

Things I will do today

1. Go to the 8:30 a.m. telephone CLA meeting

2. Go to the 9:30 a.m. telephone PA check-in (no one was there)

3. Go to the 9:45 a.m. telephone CLA activity line

4. Cook and eat breakfast

5. Take shower

6. Get dressed

7. Prayer and meditation

8. Go to diabetic group

9. Warm up and eat dinner

10. Go to the 3 p.m. telephone OA meeting

11. Go to work at 5:30 p.m.

12. Go to the 10 p.m. telephone DA meeting

Thanks for letting me share