I joined Pro-Anon a bit more than a week ago, and I've really found micro-bursts in the chat helpful..
But I have slipped up in the last half week or more - my productivity driven mostly by deadlines and last-minute desperation more than mature forsight. I come home from classes and feel that I "deserve" a break, play some computer games and then realize I've been playing for hours. I feel disgusted with myself and then, inexplicably, continue playing.
My manager for an online art job has finally contacted me, asking about my progress: what should have had a one week turnaround I've dragged out to almost three. I told him I was "doing some revisions and would get them back to him ASAP".... which was a lie. I'm only about 15% done. I was going to do work on it yesterday after I got home... but then like an alcoholic who drinks to forget, I squandered all the time on games and time-wasting. I feel awful about myself, it's disgusting to act like this.
I'm posting here to give myself the power and urge to make a schedule and stick to it. Today: I have an online meeting at 5 PM, and then at 6 I have friends coming over. Until then, I will do my absolute best toend this destructive cycle I've fellen back into.
Sorry, not really a "discussion" topic and more of an outpouring... but I truly feel horrible about myself right now.