Thursday February 23, 2012

Good. I'm here again reporting, my closest-farthest friends ever:

Although the day is almost gone, I wanted to report that:

I'm still going to continue with work,

I went to an exhibition of :::: with :::: and it ruled.

I made work according to a log I'm carrying with me :) .

Will continue on:

Pomodoros on folding. 

Thank you, friends.

Fear is only a thought and as a thought you can ignore it.

Friday 9.35 am

Did not log in yesterday as I put in a massive day (did not get home till nearly 10 pm) working on project C at client's office. Felt I had to stay so late as the work can not be done at home (needs specific software) and can't see my way to getting back there again in the near future.

And the night before stayed up till 2 pm trying to finish project M (still not done :().

So now I have one project overdue and the other due in a few days (still lots to do). The s*** is really hitting the fan as a result of my (more severe than usual) lapse into procrastination.

I still hope to finish project M today but starting to feel burnt out. Going for a bike ride (exercise) soon even though I feel I can't spare the time, but I think I will feel better for it.

Thank you all for being here.

Have had difficulty getting traction following unusual activities outside my normal routine, like meeting offsite at a client's office Tuesday and a long meeting at the building next door yesterday in which I was asked to meet with an unhappy client and try to make amends for perceived "poor service" delivered by some colleagues of mine.  It's completely ironic since I am the "master" of providing poor (i.e., slow) service, and only a matter of luck and the fact that everyone else is busy that I am not called on the carpet daily. 

In any case, it was weird because one of my closest colleagues, a person whose work skills and work ethic I have admired since starting this job a little over a year ago, for some strange reason perceived that the client was unhappy with *him* and that somehow he was being made a scapegoat.  In fact, it had nothing to do with him, but rather with other people here the client has also been working with. 

After meeting with the client, who objectively was not being unreasonable, I spoke with my angry colleague and tried to convey that the client expressed some legitimate frustrations, but nothing about him, and that he was completely in the clear. I also tried hard to make him see that flying off the handle and creating a hostile situation here, by needlessly confronting other colleagues over this erroneous idea that he was being made a "fall guy", was not only off the mark but would have long-term negative effects within our group. 

Clearly angry and frustrated, he decided to "shoot the messenger" and started in on me about my slowness and the inappropriate levels of service I provide.  Wow.  If even colleagues I had perceived as close carry such a negative view of me that it comes pouring out under a little stress, what must the colleagues who frequently complain about me be saying?

I felt pretty down.  I got almost nothing done after that, then stayed up late surfing the internet last night.  The only positive take home from this is that it may have ever so slightly opened my eyes to the clients' perceptions and the frustration that delayed work causes them.  I am usually pretty immune to that, or oblivious to it, since I tend to see my struggles with work as a personal failing I have to deal with, and fear obsessing over them to the point of paralysis.  I am pretty isolated and self-centered, truth be told, and view myself as working for my superiors, one step removed from an actual client.  I don't know if trying to switch to a client focus would be helpful for me or detrimental.  Something to ponder.

Okay, need to get focused.  Had a long meeting today, 9:30 to 11:45, and have yet to get anything done. Plan is to work until 6:15 PM, since I am way tired and need to attend to family and personal issues this evening.  Another late night here at work won't cut it.  I will undoubtedly have to work very hard this weekend.  I am feeling butterflies in my stomach as my nerves start to get the better of me. Ah, well.

Goal 1: 2 x 30 minute work blocks, back to back (~1:15-2:15)

Goal 2: 15 minute personal time (~2:15-2:30)

Goal 3: 2 x 30 minute work blocks, back to back (~2:30-3:30)

Goal 4: 15 minute personal time (~3:30-3:45)

Goal 5: 2 x 30 minute work blocks, back to back (~3:45-4:45)

Goal 6: 15 minute personal time (~4:45-5:00)

Goal 7: 2 x 30 minute work blocks, back to back (~5:00-6:00)

Goal 8: 15 minute personal time (~6:00-6:15)

Goal 10: Leave promptly at 6:15.

Goal 11: To bed by 11 PM. PLEASE!!!

Back to report.

Oh, and no internet between now and 6:15 PM.  It should go without saying, but clearly it didn't, since I wasted 15 minutes between posting this and now just reading nonsense.  I frustrate me. 

Hi, Everyone. Good wishes for your day...

I want to feel better about how I use my time, today, than how I used it yesterday. So:

I choose accomplishment in reality over escape, today, particularly in these ways:

* I choose to postpone doing any online puzzles until between dance class and 23:15--I know that doing even one, before that, is one too many, because one almost never feels like enough.
* I choose to do my non-fiction listening only before 23:15, and only during chores or exercise or travel before 18:00.
* I choose to do my fiction listening only between 18:00 and 23:15 and during chores or exercise or travel or project progress.
* I choose to read fiction by eye only after dance class and before 23:15.
* I choose to experience silence after 23:15. I encourage myself to be in bed by 00:30, even if the lights aren't out. I want to feel rested and energetic when I wake up, tomorrow! I want to enjoy mornings!

(I did quite well with fulfilling these choices. I didn't manage to make it into bed by 00:30, but did so by about 01:15, which was an improvement over several recent nights.)

Done (or Done Enough) on Thursday, 02/23/12:
prioritizing
update spreadsheet before noon
update clearout goal item with recent progress
shower, etc
ask N re ETA for beet juice
research "blueing"
weekly status report and wiki update by 17:00
aim to be ready to leave for dance class by 19:15, and bring whites
do 15 minutes of Qi Gong (be careful to twist from lower place!) (done as part of dance warm-ups)
do a little library book skimming

Made Progress on Thursday, 02/23/12:
bookending and check-in at P.A.
practice asking for an excellently-suited part of myself to lead the V (maybe there could be a song for and about this?)
make progress on job work
do 10 minutes clearout progress (managed to put just one rather intriguing catalog into the recycling bin, not sure how long it took)
try some more Shiva Nata (just a bit, during dance class warm-ups)

To Do For Sure on Thursday, 02/23/12:
(all do-for-sure items either done or started)

I'd Like To Do At Least Some of These, Too (but didn't, on Thursday, 02/23/12):
send thanks and Qs message to A
do a few minutes of yard neatening
make a little more progress on beading
journal a bit re DC vs. Rally &/or relation of regression/luck to procrastination recovery
make some increment of progress re getting Tai Chi prompts correctly set up

I want to get an early start today in order to at least have a plan before it hits the fan! DONE!

 There are 232 emails in my Inbox, mostly sorted into 9 categories but also including 36 emails from yesterday and today that I have not yet categorized.  I also have 3 overdue reports - 2 long and 1 short.  There's a smallish pile of paperwork to my left that must be sorted for work and personal, then filed and/or prioritized if it needs more work.  I have work calls at 11 and 12.

My goal today will be to be on time for my work calls DONE!, complete one of the overdue reportsDONE!, sort all emailsDONE!, and clear out one entire Inbox category. May the Force be with us all! :-)

"My boundaries enclose a pleasant land." Psalm 16

To do today:
Orders
Small non-work tasks (didn't get to one of these, but made very good progress)
Figure out how to move stage
Practice freezing in isopentane (made good progress)
Work on counts
Mtg w/ Lydia
Start opt fix 

Check expts
Speak at church
Script
Deacon contacts

OK, starting with 10 min to get a little organized, then I'll go check on expts and start opt fix, then I'll work on admin tasks.

Hi!

Up, eat breakfast, take puppy for walk. Then T-199 walk, shower, brush teeth, take meds. Start packing for trip, check email, internet.

Next: dry hair, then start on trip :)

Have a great day, everyone! :)

Recycler

Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)

Woke in sunshine and feeling a lot better. I am grateful and I am so grateful I don't have to go to the Tribunal this morning.

Done:
Up prayer and reflection
Checked email, posts, and post where there is a note that I have a payment of nearly £100 for licensing rights on a book
Washed up

Todo:
x Cook some food which I took from the freezer yesterday -10 meals made and frozen
x Clean the kitchen floor
x Put away washing when it is dry
x Change bed linen - except I can't put the duvet cover on as my body hurts too much when I try
x Put washing machine on again
x Bath and wash hair
x Read book on travel
x Continue making todo list as I have lost all my lists

Regards Rexroth