You mean I'm not alone??!

Hi, I'm a smart, capable, and well-intentioned person who can't seem to DO anything.

I've had a problem with procrastination for many years but have managed to climb that hill well enough....until now.  It seems that the closer I get to success, the more I sabotage my own efforts, the more anxious I become, the more I fail.  Until now I have always seen my procrastination as a product of my depression, but I am beginning to see that it might actually be the other way around....that my depression is a product of my anxiety which is caused by my chronic procrastination.  Whatever the case, I'm a mess.

I'm a 4th year Honours Psychology student (in Canada) and the single mother of a 6 year old.  I have a lot on my plate but have managed to win numerous academic awards and take care of myself ok....even despite sometimes waiting to study until the last possible moment.  This year, however, has been WAY different.  I have already asked for MANY extensions for assignments and have begun even lying to my professors about my life circumstances in order to gain their pity and leniency. My grades are suffering badly and yet I keep putting things off.  I am about to lose all hope of being accepted into Grad school if I stay on this path but the more I worry about that, the more paralyzed I become...and the cycle continues.

I was so happy to find this site. After sitting here for a 3rd straight day without producing any work and the words "why can't you just DO IT?!" running circles in my head, I googled "chronic procrastination" and this whole world has opened up.  I never thought about this as an addiction before, but it feels so true to me.  I have also had difficulty with alcohol, shopping, and food....and have used them as tools for my procrastination, but really it's all bundled together in the same umbrella.

Thank you for being here, I really hope to draw from your experiences and come out of this before it's too late.