Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
:) 10min ci
:| 30min quiet time
:) 10min dailies
:) get something done
:| 10min work plan
:-( 15min rdy
work hard.
:) home email
:) call 991
:) email ds
:) 20min wko
Just wanted to post a quick note to thank everyone here for their support. Today is my first day as a member of PA.
Admitting that this is a compulsion is less terrifying than it was this morning. (It was only last week that I even realized that I will never be able to stop my procrastination on my own.)
It was a leap to trust in the tools enough to log on to the Chatbox and call in to the Check In line. (The chatbox seemed so counterintuitive--being online should be the last thing we should be doing, right?) But it helped, immensely. I don't really understand why, or how. But for now, it doesn't really matter; it just needs to keep helping.
Tonight I am going to meditate, but tonight with actual joy and hope for a change.
Thank you all for the warm welcome. Logging on and seeing familiar "faces" from the forums, chat, and CIs was so reassuring. This morning, the phone meeting actually got me out of bed bright and early--for the first time in ages!
The fellowship here is making the fear so much easier to deal with. Hearing everyone's stories and listening to the challenges that everyone faces makes me feel like I am not alone--again, for the first time in ages.
I'm rooting for you all.
P.S. The welcome cat is adorable. It looks like it is on its way to some exciting things :)
You are not alone any more. Many of us felt just like you when we started. It took me a year to "learn the ropes" of the web site. Just started using chatbox this year. Keep cominging back and yes there is hope for a change here. Vic
Welcome Kitty! When I joined this site almost 3 years ago, I was late delivering a major project that I HADN'T EVEN STARTED ON. I was a mess. Now, I ain't perfect now by any means and I still struggle, but things are so much better I can't even believe it.
Jo
"Bless the present. Trust yourself. Expect the best." --Steve Nobel
I can relate. I felt pretty hopeless until I found PA. Now I feel hopeful, that even I can get better. This morning was my first morning on PA phone bridge as well. See you tommorrow for check in by phone or on board.I have to write a paper tonite
Late start cause I had a doctor's appointment this morning. Now I have referrals to the dermatologist and radiologist (for mammogram). It just never ends, since I turned 50 it seems I have some kind of doctor or dentist appointment at least once a month. Oh, well, I am truly grateful that I have health insurance and access to excellent health care. Many people do not have that luxury. It just doesn't necessarily feel like a luxury when you're getting prodded and poked with needles.
Taking a brief brunch break and then making my todo list for the rest of the day. I only intend to do the half day today as I worked over the weekend and also worked pretty late last night, so I do not feel guilty about taking the morning off.
Jo
"Bless the present. Trust yourself. Expect the best." --Steve Nobel
I called them and got everything taken care of THE VERY NEXT DAY! woot! This used to be something I would have procrastinated on for 6 months . . . a year . . .!
"Bless the present. Trust yourself. Expect the best." --Steve Nobel
Made my to-do list last night and now wondering why I can never seem to 'stick' to it? I just want to do OTHER things that need to be done, or things I have listed today but not in the same order as I tried to list them.
So, now I will make an attempt to modify my to-do list to what I think will work better. Then maybe I'll want to do last night's to-do list? heh
Get up before 10 -- CLOSE, GOT UP AT 10:10 Eat Bkft
Find out if need to drive to vet -- DONE, NOT TODAY, CHECK AGAIN TOMORROW
Check date of C. equipment to send in for repair
Call Dr. W.
Call Dr. N.
Pay bills -- PAID ONE, MUST PAY D. TOMORROW
Email J.
Email S. from MM
1 p 1-2 hrs in Garden - GOT A LOT DONE, YAY
3 p Eat Lunch
Call D.
Call R.
Eat dinner
7 pm RSVP
Watch DVR
Thursday
Find out if need to drive to vet
Either tomorrow or sometime before Friday:
Laundry -- TWO LOADS DONE, NEED TO FOLD
Pack for weekend
Refill travel containers
Order G-Q.A.
Clean kitty water
_________
LookAtYourselfAndWhatYourDoin'RightNow-StandBackAMinuteJustToCheckYourselfOut-StraightenOutYourLifeAndHowYou'reLivin'EachDay-JustKeepYourEyesOnThePrizeAndYourFeetFlatOnTheGround-MJ's "Keep the Faith"
Personal:
-contact insurance co. re: p.t.
-make sure payment goes through for the 15th credit card
-call North Shore and ask for a new med for Yoffee to call in
-ask G to be workout buddy
-email in food order
Hmm...what to cook for Saturday?
Wishing everyone an HP-inspired day!!
♥"Prayers for my Yoffee's complete & speedy recovery and prayers for direction & clarity on how she can be healed.♥
I'd say that my most important task is to work on EA's project (and finish it up, if at all possible)...this is hard and I've been putting this off for a while.(didn't finish, but made really good progress)
Other important, but smaller, tasks are:
*Call MT
*Turn in comm. form
*Shopping (and maybe haircut)
*Flight plans
And if I get through all of those I'll:
*Plan for scheduling/quals prep
*Organize computer files
*Ask EA about Sohlh2
*Genotype (think I'll at least start this, b/c I need a good mindless taks)
*Email about deacons (think I'll try to send this email)
*Work on analyzing biosensor data, email LL (think I'll try to at least send the email)
OK, working on EA's project now. I'll post a more detailed breakdown of what I need to do.
Update 10:15: Breakdown of EA's project:
1)Figure out how to average replicates in EA's sample
2)Figure out how to find genes with a consistent up- or down- trend
3)Do correlation and rankedList comparison to SCC and cell type data
4)Do comparison to timecourse data (started, finishing this up now)
5)Write up for EA
i'm here on faith (once again). i dont feel like i 'need' PA today. i dont feel distracted. i just know myself, and i know what can be lurking around the corner.
my quiet time went terrifically. is that a word? spell check says yes.
but i have now run out of gas. starting to get all panicky. here to don the easy yoke.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt 11:28-30.
that verse is so filled with hope it makes me feel like i'm going to burst.
i am hear to don that yoke, to find that narrow way that once found is so easy to walk. I have walked it before, and only need to find a path back to it. God i pray you lead me there.
Thank you tuffi for "Don't Feed The Beast!". I have been feeding it for days. Well finally stopped and got to work on a paper which I will complete this morning after completing my check-in list.
Finish Paper
Shower
Eat Something
Take vitamins
Go out and grab a cup of joe (having cup of joe this evening instead of morn)
Go to gym
pick up and complete next paper
get final in by 5pm (5:14PM)))
get something to eat
study for history final
Go to an AA meetingOFF TO MEETING NOW AT 7:38PM
Two items added:
Brush teeth
Gratitude List
Finish Studying for history
Go to bed by 1 or 2 am
This day has not been a bad day. I actually completed a paper. I chose to rearrange some of the things on my list like taking a nap instead of excerising felt like it was needed after finishing paper. I was on PA phone bridge today twice, very cool. I kept in touch with other PAers while I did my paper the encouragement felt good didnot feel so alone while working on paper, thanks to every word of encouragement I received today and to alll who were there. I even let a friend critique my paper that was new for me usually I am to afraid to show anyone anything I have written becauseI think it is not good enough and everyone will know that I should not be in college. So all in all I like the day but I must get going on my studies tonite.
Done:
Up prayer and reflection
Check emails
Update finances
Load washing machine
Tidy up in kichen - rubbish out
Checked legal file and letters and phoned solicitor and left message
Todo:
Wash up
Look at medical stuff and think what to do
Deal with post if/when it comes
I feel better now I have phoned the solicitor - there are a few bits to finish off and the sooner I start the sooner they will be finished.
Done:
Above but there is nothing I can usefully do on medical stuff yet
Otherwise I have spent the day uselessly. overeating, lying around and watching stuff on the net. I am exhausted and need to get on with things and I don't know how.
Todo:
Don't know - or maybe I do and don't feel like doing it
Sometimes when I feel like that (and I do you are not alone) I say right I am giving myself a holiday. I don't have to do anything I don't want to do today. It is a holiday from battling procrastination. OK I might get little done but I choose not to feel guilty about it. That can be enough to be more willing to tackle the tough stuff in the next day or two.
Today I am going to the agency. I have been procrastinating about job hunting but today I will go. I will NOT put it off. I will feel good when I have gone. I will take the afternoon off as a reward but I WILL go.
Well it is 1pm and I am back from the agency. On their noticeboard they said all you need to start temporary work is your passport and NI number. So I didn't take my CV but the woman said she would not interview me without it. Sigh. So tomorrow I will go through the same thing but this time I will finish my CV and take it with me. Sigh.
Still I broke through my fear of walking through the door and learnt a lesson or two about being prepared. I also have their form so I know what their questions are going to be about. I might well rehearse some answers this afternoon.
If it doesn't go well OK I would still have improved my interview techniques and there are more agencies out there. It is not my dream job so I could start dribbling or twitching in the interview or burst into tears or burst into song or anything and it would not really matter!
Job hunting is high stress so I shall be kind to myself today and tuck myself up and read a good book this afternoon.
I have actually brought the right clothes and shoes and handbag and haircut. Today I ironed my clothes and got dressed in those clothes and shoes and handbag and brushed my hair and brushed my teeth and polished my nails and got on a bus and walked through a door and actually had a conversation with someone who can give me work.
Yay for you Helen!! I hate looking for work as well. It's really difficult in this economy don't know if you are here in the US. I want to get a job for the summer in the plant nursery and I got my first rejection. I have two jobs so it would be easy to give up my goal to work in a nursey this summer but as soon as finals are over I will begin my search for a job again. Good luck to you Helen!!!
alternative activity for the 'don't wanna do this'-times of the day: start making tables (needs to be done but doesn't require much thinking...)
by 10.30
*check PO + outlineG (very important)! &email
M. !!! (first thing when i've set the timer - otherwise i'll
put it off again)
*email T. (doesn't have to be long!)
checked PO. and panicked. very much. almost froze but i must not. i have 2 weeks to finish which are most likely not enough so i have to ask my supervisor for extra time. i must write an email to my supervisor to explain the situation. but i
am ashamed and afraid to do so. however, it is worse than that. it is technically possible to apply for an extension. the examination board may grant an extension if my
supervisor agrees but, officially, i have to present them with an important reason which is beyond my control. now what would that be?! "I have a problem with procrastination."?! certainly not! the problem is not so much with my supervisor, i think she'd even understand if i told her i'd got a sort of psychological problem (which i'm really trying to solve), but with the official procedure. oh, what am i gonna do? apart from trying very hard to not hate myself?!
DONE with all emails
10.30 - 11.30
*finish sec 2
11.30 - 12
*start writing sec 4
- 'com'
12 - 1
lunch
2 - 3
*continue sec 4
- 'h'
5.30
*email results to R.
would be a plus but don't want to make the list too long:
*start sec3 - 'A' & sum
*write pa - something that's been on the list since monday but which i
don't want to do for no obvious reason. maybe i'm afraid it's too big? -
irrational fear of failure? in that case: give 15 min to this task
right after lunch (this is perfectly doable, nothing to be afraid of!)
i just want to tell you that many people have come to this board with deadlines far too long ignored. And their situation is dire, with degrees and jobs on the line. What i believe i have observed from these experiences is
1. it's not as bad as it looks. I have never personally been able to see the reality this when i am in the moment, but i have been able to accept it on faith, without seeing it for myself (when i'm in the thick of it as you are).
In fact, many people, even given the extremely short deadlines, once they start working the program, making lists, fighting their urge to get distracted tooth-n-nail, posting their failures and successes, they make amazing progress.
2. extensions are easier to get than they seem. Not everyone has gotten an extension, but way more people than i would expect ask for an extension and come back to this board to report--much to their surprise--that they were given an extension. thus, i would definitely explore this option.
3. some people come here AFTER they have failed to meet that all important make-or-break deadline. I just searched my memory, and i dont think there's a single example of someone coming here BEFORE their deadline and failing, but there are many examples of people coming here just after they have missed it. The GOOD NEWS is that these people have had a huge wake up call, and they come here knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that they need help, and for many of them it is the first step toward a long road of recovery. Ie victory rising from the ashes of defeat.
I wish I had words of wisdom for you but I don't. Just hang in there and don't let the fear and anxiety get the best of you. Things have a way of working there selves out even when we think we are totally screwed. I know this has happened many times in my life. Wow, you have two weeks! May not seem like a lot of time when you know how much work you have but let me tell you that is a large amount of time compared to it should have been handed in last Friday. Peace.
Also, thank you for using times in your check-in. I think I will try this with a timer to see if this method will work for me.
thanks for the encouragement!! i'll try to keep going, no matter what. after all, it's not like i've got nothing, it's just not enough - for the speed at which i advance currently. but i'll keep trying my best. one good thing i recognise about myself is an inability to give up completely. temporarily, sometimes, but not completely. apart from that for the moment the panic is gone. and i've written that email to my supervisor.
tiptree CI 12:40 PM
- sess. issue merged fixed/merged
- pub. issue fixed
- HL -> working w/ v2 client
- fix drilldown issue
- fix status page issue
- fix 1552 and 1761 loopholes
- fix TM bug
- fix 1657
- grp meeting
- 2nd meeting
- training
- clean office
- guitar
- read 30 pp Hamlet, Revenge!
- read 1 ch. of EIP or AUP
CL daily overcoming
:) 10min ci
:| 30min quiet time
:) 10min dailies
:) get something done
:| 10min work plan
:-( 15min rdy
work hard.
:) home email
:) call 991
:) email ds
:) 20min wko
----------
the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
-Morning routines;
-Morning routines; breakfast, prayers, e-mails
-vacuum clean, laundry
-write M.
In recovery :)
E
-When I look into the future, it is so bright it burns my eyes ~ Oprah Windfrey
Grateful for my first day in PA
Just wanted to post a quick note to thank everyone here for their support. Today is my first day as a member of PA.
Admitting that this is a compulsion is less terrifying than it was this morning. (It was only last week that I even realized that I will never be able to stop my procrastination on my own.)
It was a leap to trust in the tools enough to log on to the Chatbox and call in to the Check In line. (The chatbox seemed so counterintuitive--being online should be the last thing we should be doing, right?) But it helped, immensely. I don't really understand why, or how. But for now, it doesn't really matter; it just needs to keep helping.
Tonight I am going to meditate, but tonight with actual joy and hope for a change.
See you on tomorrow's check-in thread!
Fellowship, phone, and online check-ins
Thank you all for the warm welcome. Logging on and seeing familiar "faces" from the forums, chat, and CIs was so reassuring. This morning, the phone meeting actually got me out of bed bright and early--for the first time in ages!
The fellowship here is making the fear so much easier to deal with. Hearing everyone's stories and listening to the challenges that everyone faces makes me feel like I am not alone--again, for the first time in ages.
I'm rooting for you all.
P.S. The welcome cat is adorable. It looks like it is on its way to some exciting things :)
(Kitty)
You are not alone any more. Many of us felt just like you when we started. It took me a year to "learn the ropes" of the web site. Just started using chatbox this year. Keep cominging back and yes there is hope for a change here. Vic
welcome kitty
i know how you feel. hope is a wonderful thing, isn't it!
as jo said, except right now is a moment i AM struggling. but, i have hope, which i didnt have before. makes all the difference.
it's not easy. i've had setbacks.
my best advice is: keep returning.
my prayers and thots are with you.
----------
the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
re:grateful
Welcome Kitty! When I joined this site almost 3 years ago, I was late delivering a major project that I HADN'T EVEN STARTED ON. I was a mess. Now, I ain't perfect now by any means and I still struggle, but things are so much better I can't even believe it.
Jo
"Bless the present. Trust yourself. Expect the best." --Steve Nobel
Welcome Kitty
I can relate. I felt pretty hopeless until I found PA. Now I feel hopeful, that even I can get better. This morning was my first morning on PA phone bridge as well. See you tommorrow for check in by phone or on board.I have to write a paper tonite
Stefinle
Journey 11:30
Late start cause I had a doctor's appointment this morning. Now I have referrals to the dermatologist and radiologist (for mammogram). It just never ends, since I turned 50 it seems I have some kind of doctor or dentist appointment at least once a month. Oh, well, I am truly grateful that I have health insurance and access to excellent health care. Many people do not have that luxury. It just doesn't necessarily feel like a luxury when you're getting prodded and poked with needles.
Taking a brief brunch break and then making my todo list for the rest of the day. I only intend to do the half day today as I worked over the weekend and also worked pretty late last night, so I do not feel guilty about taking the morning off.
Jo
"Bless the present. Trust yourself. Expect the best." --Steve Nobel
I got a letter from the IRS and . ..
I called them and got everything taken care of THE VERY NEXT DAY! woot! This used to be something I would have procrastinated on for 6 months . . . a year . . .!
"Bless the present. Trust yourself. Expect the best." --Steve Nobel
Good for you, Journey! That
Good for you, Journey!
That is excellent. You should be super proud of yourself! Go you!
Big hug :)
MC
Thanks Mama!
Thanks to PA, things are so much better than they were two years ago! Not perfect by any means but much better!
"Bless the present. Trust yourself. Expect the best." --Steve Nobel
Prosick Check in 11:20 am Check out Midnite
Made my to-do list last night and now wondering why I can never seem to 'stick' to it? I just want to do OTHER things that need to be done, or things I have listed today but not in the same order as I tried to list them.
So, now I will make an attempt to modify my to-do list to what I think will work better. Then maybe I'll want to do last night's to-do list? heh
Get up before 10-- CLOSE, GOT UP AT 10:10Eat Bkft
Find out if need to drive to vet-- DONE, NOT TODAY, CHECK AGAIN TOMORROWCheck date of C. equipment to send in for repair
Call Dr. W.
Call Dr. N.
Pay bills -- PAID ONE, MUST PAY D. TOMORROW
Email J.
Email S. from MM
1 p 1-2 hrs in Garden- GOT A LOT DONE, YAY3 p Eat Lunch
Call D.
Call R.
Eat dinner
7 pm RSVP
Watch DVR
Thursday
Find out if need to drive to vet
Either tomorrow or sometime before Friday:
Laundry -- TWO LOADS DONE, NEED TO FOLD
Pack for weekend
Refill travel containers
Order G-Q.A.
Clean kitty water
_________
LookAtYourselfAndWhatYourDoin'RightNow-StandBackAMinuteJustToCheckYourselfOut-StraightenOutYourLifeAndHowYou'reLivin'EachDay-JustKeepYourEyesOnThePrizeAndYourFeetFlatOnTheGround-MJ's "Keep the Faith"
Hope-Faith CI 5/12/2010
WOW
hope4meandu checkin (9:00AM)
Good Morning All & Every,
Nice to see new faces and continued faces!!
Having company on Saturday, so I'm hoping to not leave it all to the last minute like I did last Friday.
Tonight:
-laundry
-dust living room
-clean stairs
-wash kitchen floors
-do p.t. exercises
-clean kitchen counters
-sweep bedrooms
Personal:
-contact insurance co. re: p.t.
-make sure payment goes through for the 15th credit card
-call North Shore and ask for a new med for Yoffee to call in
-ask G to be workout buddy
-email in food order
Hmm...what to cook for Saturday?
Wishing everyone an HP-inspired day!!
♥"Prayers for my Yoffee's complete & speedy recovery and prayers for direction & clarity on how she can be healed.♥
kromer 8:30 CI
Lots to do today.
I'd say that my most important task is to work on EA's project (and finish it up, if at all possible)...this is hard and I've been putting this off for a while.(didn't finish, but made really good progress)
Other important, but smaller, tasks are:
*Call MT
*
Turn in comm. form
*
Shopping (and maybe haircut)*
Flight plansAnd if I get through all of those I'll:
*Plan for scheduling/quals prep
*Organize computer files
*Ask EA about Sohlh2
*Genotype (think I'll at least start this, b/c I need a good mindless taks)
*Email about deacons (think I'll try to send this email)
*Work on analyzing biosensor data, email LL (think I'll try to at least send the email)
OK, working on EA's project now. I'll post a more detailed breakdown of what I need to do.
Update 10:15: Breakdown of EA's project:
1)
Figure out how to average replicates in EA's sample2)
Figure out how to find genes with a consistent up- or down- trend3)Do correlation and rankedList comparison to SCC and cell type data
4)Do comparison to timecourse data (started, finishing this up now)
5)Write up for EA
CL daily overcoming
lol dont feed the beast.
i'm here on faith (once again). i dont feel like i 'need' PA today. i dont feel distracted. i just know myself, and i know what can be lurking around the corner.
1. quiet time
----------
the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
ty hope4. and prayers for
ty hope4. and prayers for yoffee.
my quiet time went terrifically. is that a word? spell check says yes.
but i have now run out of gas. starting to get all panicky. here to don the easy yoke.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt 11:28-30.
that verse is so filled with hope it makes me feel like i'm going to burst.
i am hear to don that yoke, to find that narrow way that once found is so easy to walk. I have walked it before, and only need to find a path back to it. God i pray you lead me there.
----------
the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
Hey Clement
Relate lots. Even when things are going well, I know I need you guys.
Cheering for you!!
♥"Prayers for my Yoffee's complete & speedy recovery and prayers for direction & clarity on how she can be healed.♥
Stefinle CI
Good
MorningAll,Thank you tuffi for "Don't Feed The Beast!". I have been feeding it for days. Well finally stopped and got to work on a paper which I will complete this morning after completing my check-in list.
Finish PaperShowerEat SomethingTake vitaminsGo out and grab a cup of joe(having cup of joe this evening instead of morn)Go to gym
pick up and complete next paper
get final in by 5pm(5:14PM)))get something to eatstudy for history final
Go to an AA meetingOFF TO MEETING NOW AT 7:38PMTwo items added:
Brush teeth
Gratitude List
Finish Studying for history
Go to bed by 1 or 2 am
This day has not been a bad day. I actually completed a paper. I chose to rearrange some of the things on my list like taking a nap instead of excerising felt like it was needed after finishing paper. I was on PA phone bridge today twice, very cool. I kept in touch with other PAers while I did my paper the encouragement felt good didnot feel so alone while working on paper, thanks to every word of encouragement I received today and to alll who were there. I even let a friend critique my paper that was new for me usually I am to afraid to show anyone anything I have written becauseI think it is not good enough and everyone will know that I should not be in college. So all in all I like the day but I must get going on my studies tonite.
Rexroth Check In
This beast needs feeding
Done:
Up prayer and reflection
Check emails
Update finances
Load washing machine
Tidy up in kichen - rubbish out
Checked legal file and letters and phoned solicitor and left message
Todo:
Wash up
Look at medical stuff and think what to do
Deal with post if/when it comes
I feel better now I have phoned the solicitor - there are a few bits to finish off and the sooner I start the sooner they will be finished.
Regards Rexroth
Rexroth Update
Done:
Above but there is nothing I can usefully do on medical stuff yet
Otherwise I have spent the day uselessly. overeating, lying around and watching stuff on the net. I am exhausted and need to get on with things and I don't know how.
Todo:
Don't know - or maybe I do and don't feel like doing it
Rexroth
(((Rexroth)))
Sometimes when I feel like that (and I do you are not alone) I say right I am giving myself a holiday. I don't have to do anything I don't want to do today. It is a holiday from battling procrastination. OK I might get little done but I choose not to feel guilty about it. That can be enough to be more willing to tackle the tough stuff in the next day or two.
Just a thought. Rest and funn have their place.
Thank you Helen
Thank you Helen I'm trying to do things one day at a time.
Rexroth
ooops
posted twice!
Helen's CI
Today I am going to the agency. I have been procrastinating about job hunting but today I will go. I will NOT put it off. I will feel good when I have gone. I will take the afternoon off as a reward but I WILL go.
Helens Job Hunting Saga Part 1
Well it is 1pm and I am back from the agency. On their noticeboard they said all you need to start temporary work is your passport and NI number. So I didn't take my CV but the woman said she would not interview me without it. Sigh. So tomorrow I will go through the same thing but this time I will finish my CV and take it with me. Sigh.
Still I broke through my fear of walking through the door and learnt a lesson or two about being prepared. I also have their form so I know what their questions are going to be about. I might well rehearse some answers this afternoon.
If it doesn't go well OK I would still have improved my interview techniques and there are more agencies out there. It is not my dream job so I could start dribbling or twitching in the interview or burst into tears or burst into song or anything and it would not really matter!
Job hunting is high stress so I shall be kind to myself today and tuck myself up and read a good book this afternoon.
I have actually brought the right clothes and shoes and handbag and haircut. Today I ironed my clothes and got dressed in those clothes and shoes and handbag and brushed my hair and brushed my teeth and polished my nails and got on a bus and walked through a door and actually had a conversation with someone who can give me work.
That's progress. Isn't it?
yes that is progess, Helen
Yay for you Helen!! I hate looking for work as well. It's really difficult in this economy don't know if you are here in the US. I want to get a job for the summer in the plant nursery and I got my first rejection. I have two jobs so it would be easy to give up my goal to work in a nursey this summer but as soon as finals are over I will begin my search for a job again. Good luck to you Helen!!!
tuffl CI 9.45
*check in before 10 am
alternative activity for the 'don't wanna do this'-times of the day: start making tables (needs to be done but doesn't require much thinking...)
by 10.30
*
check PO+outline G(very important)! &email!!! (first thing when i've set the timer - otherwise i'llM.
put it off again)
*
email T.(doesn't have to be long!)checked PO. and panicked. very much. almost froze but i must not. i have 2 weeks to finish which are most likely not enough so i have to ask my supervisor for extra time. i must write an email to my supervisor to explain the situation. but i
am ashamed and afraid to do so. however, it is worse than that. it is technically possible to apply for an extension. the examination board may grant an extension if my
supervisor agrees but, officially, i have to present them with an important reason which is beyond my control. now what would that be?! "I have a problem with procrastination."?! certainly not! the problem is not so much with my supervisor, i think she'd even understand if i told her i'd got a sort of psychological problem (which i'm really trying to solve), but with the official procedure. oh, what am i gonna do? apart from trying very hard to not hate myself?!
DONE with all emails
10.30 - 11.30
*finish sec 2
11.30 - 12
*start writing sec 4
- 'com'
12 - 1
lunch
2 - 3
*continue sec 4
- 'h'
5.30
*email results to R.
would be a plus but don't want to make the list too long:
*start sec3 - 'A' & sum
*write pa - something that's been on the list since monday but which i
don't want to do for no obvious reason. maybe i'm afraid it's too big? -
irrational fear of failure? in that case: give 15 min to this task
right after lunch (this is perfectly doable, nothing to be afraid of!)
start making tables
When I first read this I thought it said "start making babies"!
"Bless the present. Trust yourself. Expect the best." --Steve Nobel
lol! certainly not yet!
thanks - first thing that made me laugh on a rather bad day!
tuf sit for tuffl
your situation does indeed sound difficult.
i just want to tell you that many people have come to this board with deadlines far too long ignored. And their situation is dire, with degrees and jobs on the line. What i believe i have observed from these experiences is
1. it's not as bad as it looks. I have never personally been able to see the reality this when i am in the moment, but i have been able to accept it on faith, without seeing it for myself (when i'm in the thick of it as you are).
In fact, many people, even given the extremely short deadlines, once they start working the program, making lists, fighting their urge to get distracted tooth-n-nail, posting their failures and successes, they make amazing progress.
2. extensions are easier to get than they seem. Not everyone has gotten an extension, but way more people than i would expect ask for an extension and come back to this board to report--much to their surprise--that they were given an extension. thus, i would definitely explore this option.
3. some people come here AFTER they have failed to meet that all important make-or-break deadline. I just searched my memory, and i dont think there's a single example of someone coming here BEFORE their deadline and failing, but there are many examples of people coming here just after they have missed it. The GOOD NEWS is that these people have had a huge wake up call, and they come here knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that they need help, and for many of them it is the first step toward a long road of recovery. Ie victory rising from the ashes of defeat.
I'm praying for you! I hope it works out well!
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
Hang in there Tuffi
I wish I had words of wisdom for you but I don't. Just hang in there and don't let the fear and anxiety get the best of you. Things have a way of working there selves out even when we think we are totally screwed. I know this has happened many times in my life. Wow, you have two weeks! May not seem like a lot of time when you know how much work you have but let me tell you that is a large amount of time compared to it should have been handed in last Friday. Peace.
Also, thank you for using times in your check-in. I think I will try this with a timer to see if this method will work for me.
thanks clement & stefinle
thanks for the encouragement!! i'll try to keep going, no matter what. after all, it's not like i've got nothing, it's just not enough - for the speed at which i advance currently. but i'll keep trying my best. one good thing i recognise about myself is an inability to give up completely. temporarily, sometimes, but not completely. apart from that for the moment the panic is gone. and i've written that email to my supervisor.