Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
What to do when I (or we) mess up?
Today, Sunday 24 January I feel I have messed up and wasted my day. It is evening and I have done very little. I have been thinking about how to deal with the problem in general.
1. Be sure what I mean when I say or feel I have messed up i.e. exactly what is it that I have or have not done.
Today I spent most of the day on the internet. I don't feel the problem is the internet it is rather that I did not want to get on with other things.
2.Think if there are reasons why - not to take responsibility away but to make it easier to behave better next time.
I was hoping that a contact would be completed on Friday and it seems it has not and I am dissappointed.
3. Take responsibility but not blame.
Fine I won't beat myself up.
4. Do what I can to put things right.
I have tidyied up and got things ready for tomorrow and planned my week. I'm not going to work all night to catch up as I don't think I could and in any case it would only mean I could not work tomorrow.
Does anyone have ideas on how to deal with this situation because I don't think I am the only person who has experienced it?
Rexroth
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(Rex)
Me too, I "hear you loud and clear!" If we had an answer, we would not be here, but together we can do what we can never do alone.
It's so easy to tell each other to "forgive ourselves" but so hard to do, but nothing else happens until we do.
The "day after" guilt, remorse, should haves, self loathing, anger,hopelessness, etc. feel no different than the :day after" and substance addiciton. I am in that place now with procratination.
All I did was "keep coming back" and "keep showing up" in other 12 step groups and I found I was as powerless over my recovery as I was my addicitions. But consistent recovery did come, in God's time, not my time.I pray that will happen here too.Right now going to a CLA action telephone "work " line. meeting.
Keep coming back and thanks for sharing.
restrospective
rexroth i think you're on the right track with the approach to your analysis! i have had MANY days/times like this. Like many here, in the past, i have berated myself, wasting more time.
one of the things i'm happiest about in my recovery is this new phenomena of, no matter how much time has been wasted, starting with this next moment and trying again.
here are some of my favorites:
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
the idea of "restarting"
"If you have made mistakes...there is always another chance for you...you may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down." Mary Pickford, American actress
if we get behind, just try to create "the best catch-up plan"
by observing how i got myself into distraction binging, i have come up with my personal danger zones:
* when the computer is taking a long time do something--easy to click on another window and get lost for hours
* when nothing is particularly pressing right now--no sense of urgency, easy to do anything and everything else
* when the bulk of the task is done, and onlycleaning up loose ends remains
* when faced with 2 or more pressing things, and i have to decide among them
* the beginning of the day, when i feel like i have lots of time
* time to have quiet time, especially time to pray/meditate/re-give myself to god
* checking email--might see an "interesting" link and get distracted for hours
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
re: messed up
Oh geez Rex I could have written this post myself! I was kind of a slug yesterday too. So, now what to do? Well, we could spend the day mentally berating ourselves for being a lump on a log instead of getting work done. But that would be a waste of time. So, here's what I'm going to do:
1. First, realize that it wasn't so bad - I didn't do anything extra, but I did the bare minimum needed to keep the household going, I did dishes, laundry, and cooked dinner for my family. I spent the rest of the day in front of the tv or the computer.
2. Learn from it - ask myself why I needed to retreat and rest yesterday instead of working on my goals. Well, I was tired from a business meeting on Saturday and I was feeling really down because I had a hard time finding the place and I got there not late but last minute, and I felt that I made a mistake at the meeting and and was just really feeling stressed, tired, and overwhelmed.
3. Pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back on the horse today. Focus not on what went wrong, but what is the next thing to do.
Jo
Every time you get up and get back in the race, one more little piece of you starts to fall into place - (from "Stand" by Rascal Flatts)
Thanks Everyone
Thanks Everyone,
Reading what you write has really helped me.
Regards Rexroth