Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

haven't been there haven't done that

Good Evening....I'm spose to be doing a bucket load of work.  Taxes, writing, you name it.  But here I am.  Because I'm at the end of my road.  I finally got tired of playing solitaire when I got derailed by my own procrastination.  The art of stalling, alibis, excuses....

I wear two hats:  one as business owner.  One as writer.  I do both part time.  (or not at all....)'s my untold story:  Hat #1: Hard hat.  Very hard.    I have been self-employed for over 30 years. I handle all the accounting, books and admin.  for our very small family business.  Spouse handles sales aspects.  I read another post here and found that I have a similar problem:  I have tons of work that has to be done that matters to no one but my accountant or the government agencies that collect taxes.  It's boring, tedious and although I used to be great at it, I absolutely detest it now....but it still needs to be done.  

It was great while I was raising a family and I always took pride in my work. But something happened.  Don't know exactly when.  But I am a perfectionist, though, and I tend to put off (procrastinate) until I have the time, energy or desire to do things....perfect.  When I was younger, I found that energy and strength.  And I loved the sense of order when raising a family.  

Hat #2:  Meantime, I became a writer on the side. Took courses, etc. Chose a baseball hat for this job.    Loved the school part and was an excellent student. Didn't procrastinate.    I have done fairly well, nothing great, but the rejection and competition made me back down more. Then I got defensive about writing.   Now I dread writing.  Or getting the rejection letters.  Can't decide which it is.  Maybe it's both or maybe I'm just burned out on it.  I write for months on end, nobody sees the work.  sit alone in a room, hoping tat it will work out.  I feel very vulnerable about my writing right now....

I've always been goal oriented.  Did the Tony Robbins schtick.  Always kept up on the latest motivational, inspirational stuff.  And I always worked with fear as part of my motivation. Fear of failure.   Fear of rejection.  Fear of tax audits, etc.  Now, I just have this "I don't care" attitude.  And that scares me. I have failed.  And I kept getting back up.  But now, I don't care if I fail.  I've lived a full life.  My kids are grown.  

I also have medical issues in our family. And when serious issues recur, I just don't care about anything else.  Just worried about keeping people alive. I used meds for about 5 years when the family medical issues got serious.  My procrastination got worse but I never stressed about it.  Meds can be a good thing or a bad thing, huh?  My life was spinning out of control but I was the easiest person to be around.   

I finally got off the darn meds a couple months ago.   Then all the procrastination these past 5 years reared its ugly head.  The last 5 years, I was either a zombie or the happiest person on the planet.  Now I'm just a grumpy procrastinator.  Trying to figure out how to dig myself out of this mess.  And restart my engine. 

The business can keep going with the sales and even with the day to day books, but the big stuff is not getting done on a timely basis. So of course, I feel ashamed, loss of self-respect.  And also....filled with doubt.  I'm beginning to wonder if I can still do it, feeling the way I do.   

I also read another post that I can relate to:  I've been self-employed for so long that I have an independent streak.  And....I have a short fuse, patience, whatever when it comes to co-workers or team efforts.  I demand excellent customer service from the vendors, anybody who gets my money.  

I do know that if and when I stop procrastinating, I will feel better about myself than any drug or red wine can make me feel.  (well, maybe not the red wine...)  :) :) :)

Overwhelmed and sad.  I may be on the wrong website.  But it's a start, isn't it?  

Thanks for listening...



come back haventbeenthere!

i tend to agree--coming back is what helps.

i do think this is the right place for you. i see lots of similarities.

we talk about binging here as the flip side of procrastination. Ie when we work, it's no holds barred, torpedoes be damned, full speed ahead, dont let anyone stand in my way type of work. We've been considering whether some people are that way, and dont even know they're procrastinators til somehow the binge runs out, and rather than degrade to half-speed work, it halts altogether.

i know i experience both. and now i'm targeting balanced effort, with awareness.

we slot it out together here day by day. that seems to be the recipe for success, and also very elusive for most of us, including me.

The most popular tools here are the Daily Check-ins at (you can see today's on the right sidebar), and chat at

Use the tools however they work for you. Check-in is the more permanent, concrete to do list - accountability place to start your day and refer back to and keep yourself on goal.

The chat is an ongoing motivational tool to help you stick to your check in. It's also a place to "talk yourself thru things." And, while working, ppl can hear chat beeps going off. we call that "beeps of solidarity" because it's comforting to know that we're all in this together, that people are in chat working thru their issues just like your, even if you're not reading the actual posts.

the touch of the master's hand:

"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb

Binge work

Hmmm....never referred to   it as binge. But I like that.    I always refer to it as marathons.  And you're exactly right in how I approach it.  Just shut off the rest of the world and focus so intent that you're growing hair on the bottom of your feet.  Come up for air.  In my case, I go to the office at night, work all night.  Go home about 10am and do nothing type of errands. Nothing that requires brainwork.  I float through the day and get through the night and then catch up on sleep because I go to bed feeling so accomplished.  But then nothing gets done again...for week on that particular project, deadline that I worked on that night.

 Another poster talked about blocks of time. Ditto.  That's what I always wait for.  This morning, I had a bunch of clothes that need to be unpacked.  But they also need special garment bags, etc.  I had been working on my closet for weeks....still not done.  So I didn't want to put them away until I could do it perfectly.  

well, after joining this site, I thought, I need to make some progress. In anything.  So I put the clothes away for now.  And not waiting for the perfect block of time to organize my perfect closet.  

I was working last night, ready to do a marathon, and then my internet at work went offline.  I was so frustrated.  I joined Procrastinators, using my wifi on another computer.  But then I got off the phone and called tech support so that the office would be up and running today.  It took about an hour to sort through the problem but.....

While I was waitin online for tech support, I started playing solitaire.  When I finally got off the phone, I was so glad I had got the computers fixed but  frustrated that my momentum was lost, I just sat and played solitaire--- for 2 more hours.   Then I came home and posted my first forum to PA.  

Wowow...that's an epiphany.  Maybe I've turned a corner.  Seeking help for procrastination.  Now I have to get to the bottom of the reason.  The alibi du jour.  

Again, all your insight from  you all is so so helpful already.  The guilt and shame are eating me up but I'm already on a strict diet to cut back on guilt and shame.




Well, it's been a busy day.

Well, it's been a busy day.  Pouring rain but dragged the files around without them getting wet.  Made a slight dent in a pile of tax work.  It feels good to dive in.  I'm not binging, though.  I'm pacing.  I stopped for lunch, checked emails, then resumed my work.

I will work tonight but in part because I love working in the rain.  We don't get it often so its nice to just do rainy day work.  Even if it's grunt work.

 I feel better today just knowing that I have this sight for resources.  I've done some great reading from the posts on this site.  And it also softened the bad blow I got yesterday for my latest writing project.  Until I got an email from a relative that said..."sooooo" how did it go?    I still haven't responded to that email.  

 sometimes I like working in a vacuum more because then I can deal with the letdowns privately.  

My afternoon break is over...... 



I can relate to your story


I read your story with great interest. I´m a writer as well and used to be a successful one. I worked really hard to get published, made myself go through endless years of rejections and when I finally got published, won award and a big cash prize (This took place in a country in Europe and I want to remain anonymous here).

I couldn´t handle my success. I got a highly respected job at the same time, lots of power, TV interviews and glory (yeah, right). I handled it badly. Got arrogant, haughty and plain stupid, because I was so scared and miserable on the inside.

I remember going to an interview at a TV-station, all dolled up and smiling on the outside, but I envied the cleaning lady washing the stairs I walked. I knew I was a disaster waiting for happen.

And my disaster did happen. I got a divorce. I moved from a country I loved to another country I disliked. I changed Publication houses and things took a turn for the worse. I wanted to sabotage everything I did, because I felt I was a fake.

I wrote and pubished some more, but it failed. Finally I stopped altogether to deal with publishers. Now I´m a Has-been. I became a translator, working on someone else´s dreams and neglected mine. At first I said to everyone who asked, "Yes, I´m writing a new book. It will be published next year... and then next year and next."

I have actually written two books and one manuscript. They are in my drawer. I cannot make myself return to that world again, face publishers again, sell my story, get published, promote my work...

A big part wants me to give it another go. I have written two good books who deserve to be published. I really want to blossom again. If it´s possible without the publicity, I would prefer it. I´m happiest writing my books in private. Maybe there is a way of doing it.

I think that both you and I procrastinate from fear of failure, maybe fear of success as well. Rejections are part of our line of work. I have buried myself too long and I feel it´s wrong, because writing makes me happy. You wouldn´t have become a writer if you really didn´t want to.

I ordered a book from Amazon today on fear of rejection. I want to work on that book in order to start a new career without the show biz. I knew it was fake anyway, but writing is real. It gives my life meaning.

I really hope my story helped you. 

Good luck and all the best.




welcome haventbeenthere

Welcome here, I hope you'll find this place helpful and keep coming back

Thanks...I think i have to

Thanks...I think i have to come back if I'm going to make any progress...