Glad I found this site.. prevented me from doing something really stupid due to desperation!
I am procrastinator... and I thought I was alone in the world with so much problems. I just didn't know others migth be as bad as me and of course others who are actively doing something to overcome it.
I must say that I have no idea of where to start. Finding this site tells me I migth find a resource I had never found elsewhere: the companionship of others who suffer from the same illness I have, the pain of seeing your life go pass beside you without being able to grab a bit for yourself.
I have tried several.. maybe too much tools for trying to keep up with all the pending stuff I accumulate everyday. From mindmaps to online lists, to notes, notebooks with simple lists. I have found out the issue is not the tool... it's about finding the energy to move back to whatever the tool is and check the second item on the list (sometimes it's even painful to keep track of the first item).
I wish I had found it yesterday to attend the online meeting. It will be painful to wait until next sunday to attend the next one but ]I surely will.
I must admit I'm still at work, and I have not accomplished a single task today. and it's been like this for weeks. It's becoming increasingly pathologycal.
I'd like to think at this post as my first step: admitting I am a procrastinator, admiting it's consuming all my energy as I constantly think about the thousands of pending things I need to do. Most importantly, facing how it is/has affected my whole life, from the simplest things like not paying the bills on time (until the phone or the electricity or gas is gone) to the most importants aspect in my life, like not getting my university degree, not registering my social service hours (and eventually loosing them and having to do it again) not having my military service papers because i didn't pick'em up in time (and these were incinerated so I have to do military service on weekens wich I have not started) and now being one step from loosing my job (a great one) because I just cannot finish any assigned task on time (and sometimes ever).
I desperately need help... thank God I have found this site... I'll stick to it and I promisse myself and God I will stick to the 12S program and gain control over my life... this is my last chance before I go nuts! I feel like I will have no second chance, not again, I h've had just enough second chances, I cannot rely anymore on people liking me to help me forgive my faults again... thay just cannot keep doing that anymore and I wont look at myself on the mirror without embarrasment until I start changing things and it's really, really noticeable!