Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Frustrated - and more than a bit depressed....

Just heard the clock in the dining room go off and looked down - it's slightly after 1 AM.

I had at least 4-5 things that are red-letter, triple starred, exclamation points for half the page that HAD to be finished yesterday (Thurs). They have been on my list for days/weeks/ the job-hunting one for years. I'm not kidding or being sarcastic or a drama queen. 

Again I've worked almost all day on one of them, and it's nowhere near done.  I worked on another for about 2 hours, and managed to just set up the spreadsheet. 

This is how my life goes. This is what makes procrastination much worse for me. I am so sick of it.  I can't spend my entire day on mainly 2 projects. I know that staying up this late continuously not only tires me out, but makes me sick as well.  

The other night I kept falling asleep before bedtime; I finally just had to give up and go to bed.  That's what I'm about to do now. 

My dream is to be in bed at a decent time each night, except Fridays, so I can be up at 5:30-6 the next morning. I've been working on that for months, and haven't made a night yet.

Everything I've read says to cut down/back/simplify - well, bless Bess, that's what I've been doing. That was the main focus of my day, for the last few days.  I even skimmed an ADD book, since I heard to check for ADD if doing something faster doesn't help, and/or makes the job worse. The book said to cut down/back as well. 

Something has got to change here - I can't work full time and deal with this junk too. 

I don't seem to know what to do to change it, to make myself quicker. I'm embarrassed, frustrated, and feeling bad about it, and angry at myself.  I lose opportunities because I'm so slow. I have likely been booted out of an online class that I lobbied to be allowed to stay in after missing a week and a half at the beginning.  

I don't like feeling stupid and slow. I feel pretty useless right now. I think I'm just going to quit and go to bed.

Theresa

(It took me 30 minutes to write this, for Pete's sake!)

God's Time Jokes

I do have a problem with the concept of time. Every watch I ever owned broke- One time my husband bought me a diamond watch, and somehow it fell off, and a car came out of no where and ran over it- it was bizzare!!

Anyway, God must have a sense of humor. Just last week, when I tried to "speeed things up" I got to a meeting early and put out all the chairs in the room. Then when the meeting started, the meeting room turned out to be accross the hall in the plush comfortable chairs, so I had to put them all back.

One time I arranged out vacation early to Disney World. No last minute stuff. Then, when we got there I had a fender bender with the rental car the first day- it was a nightmare and my kids hated Disney World.

I found sometimes doing things "fast" don't necessarily give me the results I plan-I am still not in control.

Thanks,

Vic

Thanks :)

I haven't been back here in a while.  A storm plus threw me offline for a week; we had no electrical power anywhere. 

I am kind of sort of now getting back in the saddle with dealing with my procrastination. I need to fight it by going back to much more closely planning everyday. 

I was doing a daily routine like Flylady's, and that helped.  I need more structure, like using my google and yahoo calendars more, and assigning times to things, "office hours" as someone described them to me.  I was starting that, but then something else and the storms came up (and you're familiar with reasons to procrastinate, I'm sure.)

So, the site is bookmarked again, and I've been cleaning/decluttering bookmarks and email. Hopefully my focus is better - and it's 12:51 already???????  Yeepers! 

Got to go. Thanks again for the suggestions and support. 

Theresa

 

 

Gentlemen, I believe we have much to discuss.
(Robert Lansing as Control, The Equalizer, Trial by Ordeal.)

greeting tramseyer

Man do I relate. It feels like my slowness is worse now that I am older, and I often feel really bad because everyone on my team is younger and seems so much more productive.  I remember feeling that way as well when I was in my 30s and 40s, but the 50s have really slowed me down.

It seems my successful age-peers have paid staff people to do the heavy multi-tasking "worker bee" stuff while they do the leadership thinking and direction-setting. Leaving me to wonder: If I am not staff-supported by my age, should I give up and become a walmart greeter?  The thought terrifies me and at the same time sort of attracts me. How simple life would be! 

But it's hard to tell if the slow-down is because I went years without treating my compulsive procrastination (all addictions are progressive, as are all 12 Step recoveries, thank God), or because my life has become much more complicated with family health problems, or because the nature of my work has changed dramatically, or because everyone else including the bright youngsters in my field are really also failing to accompish everything but it's just not showing up in their cases yet...sheesh.  Who knows? 

So I just keep coming back here and posting almost daily, learning from the fellowship and Steps and Tools, and trusting that I'm finally taking at least that one solid action every day.  And you know what?  It seems to be working. I still have times when I slow and slide, but never again has it been as drastic as when I first found PA.  So I do hope you'll follow the suggestions of others here and become part of our group of kind and caring folk who share our common struggle and some common recovery.  Thanks for giving me a chance to express myself on this topic also.

It's not a sin to be slow!

Hey Theresa,

So you're slow, and you procrastinate, plus a whole bunch of other bad things I bet. It's can make you feel stupid/pathetic and tired and some times can lead to you letting people and yourself down, right?

All this negative thought shouldn't be ignored. I think it makes a good and deep person to look insde and face your ugliness with a will to change that part of you. If we are ignorant of our flaws how can we grow?

What's important though is to balance the way we look at ourseleves and include praise for waht we have/can do, or even what we haven't done wrong. We need to fuel our confidence in this way and make ourselves feel strong and good again so we are ready to tackle our flaws. How can you achieve anything when you feel so weak?

There are always people doing worse than you in some way or another. Praise yourslelf for those things and you'll start to feel energy return to you and strength. So could you try something for me and tell us some things you feel good about. However irrelevant it feels, you are reminding yourelf how able and strong you are, and how well equipped to tackle your problem.

Like I feel good for taking my kid to the park yesterday.

I'll be back to check ;)

 

Slug

I'm also trying to come to

I'm also trying to come to terms with the fact that it's not a sin to be slow.  Like Theresa, it takes me a really long time to do things, even simple things like go to the bathroom!  I beat myself up about it a lot, but that's not going to help.  My mind is usually so cluttered with crap that it becomes difficult to act on things, which leads to extreme slowness.  I think that something like meditation/prayer can help out with that,

 

Hang in there Theresa!  Keep on at it.  

Slowness

Same with me! I try to tell myself that I just do things differently and don´t rush. But people often make fun of me for being so slow. At times I feel stupid too, but I then tell myself that I wouldn´t have made it through med school if I was.

I´m just kind of scared to start working now because people will notice how slow I am and will probably think I´m stupid. I should probably stop thinking so much. That´s my main problem, and my thoughts are mostly clutter.

"Neurosis is too much thinking and not enough doing" - who said that?

Have a good day!

slowness

Wait, you made it through med school?!  Of course you're not stupid!  (And even if you hadn't made it through med school, I STILL would not believe you were stupid!) 

 

It is totally okay to be slow!  And yes, stop thinking so much.  Every time the chatter box starts going off in your head, shut it off, get up, and do something.  I worry a lot about what other people will think of my slowness/laziness, but often times I find that most people don't care enough about other people to pay attention to how much work they actually do!  So don't worry about work.  Just relax and go at your own pace.  Even if you work like a tortoise, you'll eventually beat the hare. 

 

 

Thank you

That might be true, that some people don´t even notice! I hadn´t thought about that so far. But sometimes it bothers myself. Since I´ve started posting my daily tasks here I feel better though because I always know what to do next when that chatter box starts going off again. Because there´s always so much you could be doing...

And I do have to say that sometimes I really enjoy being slow. For example when I eat.

I hope someone will start the daily thread soon, so I can post my tasks. I haven´t figured out how to do it yet. Do you also live in a European time zone?

 

Have a good day!

re: slowness

Sometimes I think it is not so much that we are slow, as that we expect to function at superhuman speed and then we are disappointed in ourselves when we find that we are only human after all.  

Jo 

"The elevator to success is out of order.   You'll have to take the stairs . . . one step at a time." - Joe Girard

KEEP COMING BACK

WELCOME,

YOU are  not alone.

a new low

I'm depressed too

I've been trying to work on this paper for the last 6 months.  In
that time I've been putting a lot of things off, like having fun and
being happy, for the same of finishing this paper.  Well, the paper is
not finished.

This last week I didn't get much done on the paper.  This Sunday
I promised to go on a day trip with my friend, but I was so stressed
out about not having gotten any work done that this morning I called
her and feigned sickness so I could get out of the trip and work on my
paper. So today all day I've been getting calls from concerned people asking if I'm okay.  Why can't I just finish this paper?  

Procrastination is a disease.  

 

accepting consequences and payoffs, including imperfection

Hey, score,

I'll weigh in on this with something that worked for me.  I figured out that my procrastination on critical papers/writing tasks was rooted in my fear of consequences. So what helped me was to list possible consequences of doing/not doing/doing a crappy job, doing the best I can, etc, and accepting them all!

For example, with an academic paper, here's some possible consequences I face:

Not completing paper at all. Consequence: fail course. I accept that. Payoff: I get to feel in control, don't risk rejection from professor.

Complete the paper, at the last minute, so it is not my best effort. Consequence:Last minute panic, stress, shame, self blame. I get a low grade, but pass the course. Payoff: I get to feel in control, get to say to myself, "I could have gotten a much higher grade if I had tried to." I accept that.

Complete the paper, working on it in small chunks of time every day until it's done. Consequence: I don't know what grade I would get, so don't feel in control of that. Possibly the paper will be judged less than perfect, which is scary. However, I accept that possible consequence. Payoff:  I do feel in control of my time, get to honestly  say to myself, "I tried my best", feel like I am in integrity with myself and my peers. I accept that.

This may seem convoluted, but in simple terms, you face possible negative and positive consequences, and accept them all.  Then YOU make the choice...not an imaginary parent or ghostly interior critical voice...you. 

 

 

 

 

You don't have to finish the paper

I don't know if this could work for you, but what helped me was not to focus on the paper. I would tell myself all I have to do is finish this sentence. That's how I had to do it - focus on one sentence at a time. I was slow but it got done.You can do a sentence.

Also the sharing and knowing you have support and know you are not alone with this???whatever you want to call it, really helps.

I know you can do the next sentence.

re: a new low

Score, 

you can do it!  You don't have to do the paper all at once.   Maybe you could think of working on it for just 30 minutes today, and get as much done in that 30 minutes as you can.   Then give give yourself a break!

If you can't face 30 minutes, do just 5.  You may say 5 minutes is not much, but 5 minutes is infinitely more than nothing.  (thanks to . . . Kromer?  I'm not sure who said that originally but it's awesome)

We totally understand and support you . .. hang in there!

Jo 

"The elevator to success is out of order.   You'll have to take the stairs . . . one step at a time." - Joe Girard

solidarity to you,

solidarity to you, scorellini

I've been there... and so have so many others.

clement here says: even a small effort is infinitely more than doing nothing.

 

But--when a thing has been  long avoided or seems stuck, having the faith that a tiny effort will make a difference can be a struggle.

vic, journey, and chickadee,

vic, journey, and chickadee, thanks a lot!  im working on the paper right now and i will try your suggestions.  thanks for all the support.  i will get through this.

Great!!

Isn't great to find a place where people "understand"? You will do it one sentence or even one word at a time. This site is the bridge to the other side. Keep posting until you get it done. Vic

 

re:great!!

Yes, what a relief it is to find people who understand.  Group Hug!! I love you all!

 And Score,

next time you are stuck you can remember the feeling of success you had today!

Jo 

"The elevator to success is out of order.   You'll have to take the stairs . . . one step at a time." - Joe Girard

yay scorellini we are

yay scorellini

we are rooting for you... every little step counts