Causes of my procrastination
Many months ago I wrote a long rambling post documenting my procrastination process but not really adressing the causes on it now in three simple bullet points I think I have the causes.
1. Not facing fears - In this case what fears? Fear of failure and fear of success, I would be afraid of starting tasks in case they resulted in failure or I was sucessful in which case people would have higher expectations of me.
2. Lack of Self Acceptance - What was I not accepting about myself? That it will not always be possible to have an outcome that I am happy with, I would keep putting off tasks on the chance that a better solution would reveal itself.
3. Impatience - This sounds backward hey but I previouse experience often told me that finishing a task would be longer and more drawn out than I expected. This meant I would likely become impatient so I avoid doing tasks in order to avoid the pain of impatience.
Finally the reason for my impatience is because I did not have a strong direction in my life and would easily be guided by other peoples priorities. As I feel felt I was doing many tasks that I was not invested in myself the result would be that I would easily take avoidance activities over task completion.
Now I have this figured out I have decided to take responsibility for my tasks, drop the ones I do not judge to be important and try to become a compulsive task completer for a while, in order to bring balance back into my life.