Friday 6 March 2009

i needed this several times today:

in my uncomfortable place, seek god, not an exit.

i am posting to report that, and also because i am starting to procrastinate bedtime.

What really helped me yesterday was reading some things to think about when a former alcoholic is tempted to take another drink. Of course, i can't find it now, and, ironically, i spent probably an hour trying.

coming full circle, then, time ty apply my new mantra.

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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748

"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb

First of all my prayers for Agnus, and as my Quaker sister would say, we are holding you in the light...

This morning took No. 1 son to a college visit. His reaction... meh. It's one of 2 places he's been accepted, but he seems unmotivated to go there, and is more likely to start at the less demanding local school. My reaction to that... meh.

But it's his life and I cannot live it for him.

I'm back in my home office now and need to get to work on some 2500 words (two pieces) that I must finish by end of the day Sunday.

I've been avoiding starting but I'm going to start now.

Step 1: Finish listening to/transcribing  the recorded interview that will be used for Project T-G

The Hero's Code:

Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.

Hi Pro Buddies!

4:30pm. During the next 1.5 hours, I need to be assertive and talk with someone, just to find out what is going on.

6pm CI. Oops, I didn't properly label my CI thread earlier. I've edited it now. I did talk with the other perons, but will go through the day chronologically.

The last number of days, I've been painting in the condo & I think the paint fumes were bothering me last night; I didn't sleep well. While I went to the gym in the morning, it was another day of stretches and ab workout, rather than cardio. However, I really didn't feel well, so didn't want to push it.

Got some assignments done at work in the morning.

Had taxes done at H & R Block. Somehow I took enough papers; the preparer said it was enough and that the taxes are now done. I am going to pretend she is telling me the truth. I still need to send in checks, and have made reminder notes on my calendar.

After the appt, while I was driving around, I tried to see the person that I needed to be assertive with, but they were out.

When I need to be assertive with someone, I prefer to see them asap -- I tried last night, I tried at lunchtime. Finally I did talk with them in person after work (more about that in a minute).

At work in the afternoon, I did two somewhat big projects -- things my boss asked me for at the last minute, so I felt impressed that I did get the first drafts of them done. Several changes will be coming through next week, but that is ok.

My project list is basically updated for Monday, to help the first of the week go as well as it can.

After work, I did talk with the person. I now have updated contact information.

Serenity Prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen. Who knows what is going to happen (other than HP)? There are still things I have concerns about. However, I have talked with the person and asked about the things I needed to ask about. Now I make the choice to let HP take over. It will be mid-April or so before I know for sure; + not being sure about any other shoes dropping mid-May or whenever. I'll talk with my sponsor on Monday.

Tonight: go to 12-step meeting. The other person won't be there, so I'm glad I took initiative to talk to them.

Gratitude for PA & HP. Wel, PA & HP helped me get my taxes done in a timely manner, so that I can be prepared to pay them. PA & HP have helped me continue to develop & follow my enhanced assignment list at work. And while I have tried to not force solutions with this other person, I have followed through as soon as I could to the best of my ability. I need my HP & progams for sure. Talk to you later :)

9:05pm. H.A.L.T. Back from my 12-step meeting. During the meeting, I didn't cry excessively, just a little bit toward the end and after the meeting. I thought about what Clement said about experiencing God in my uncomfortable place and not trying to find the exit. In addition to whatever reality of issues this week, I think I am also on emotional overload and (tmi) hormonal. Some H.A.L.T. is affecting me, so I think I need to go to give it up for the day and turn in and get some sleep.

Have a great night, everyone! :)

Recycler

Recycler

Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)

tasks:

x edit/mail out minutes 1/4 hr
x promotion tracker 2 hrs
- summary report 1 hr
- detailed click report 1 hr
- ad submission not constrained by width (test) 1/2 hr
- inst munge tested 1 hr
- photocopy sheet music 1/4 hr
- exercise 1 hr
- practice g. 1/2 hr
- return dvd 1/2 hr
- watch Spirit of the Beehive 1 1/2 hr
- autocomplete test 3/4 hr
- read 25 pp EoC 1/2 hr
- read 25 pp saf. 1/2 hr
- clean office desk + floor 3/4 hr

total: 12 hrs estimated

I am getting my wisdom teeth out today so I think I will not work on anything except resting.I am having tough time with thought of spending time on this procedure and resting up from it but it must get done.

yesterday was really busy, today less so.  Tomorrow we are going to the 'big city' for the majority of the day.

Today - finish taxes with adjustments, and telephone in.  vacuum and mop.  verify discrepancies in payroll.  Eat when hungry, every couple of hours.  Dinner?

Nothing is worth more than this day  - Goethe