Loneliness- part of MY problem with procrastination. (Don't know where to post this)
I believe that loneliness contributes to my problem of procrastination. I don't have that many experiences dating, but i've had a few. Everytime I meet someone I get attached, although I try my best not to. I get anxiety after a few days of being with the person. I met this person a few days ago, just hanging out with my friends. The person and I had a great time, we clicked instantly. For valentines day we went to a meuseum, not really looking at the exhibits as much as making out, then to a restaraunt. The person said they feel exactly the same way I do; in love and happy to be with me . Now I call the person and they do not reply or call back. I get freaked out, although I know I can meet another or perhaps that they are busy.
I get the feeling that they don't like me because I am not anywhere quite yet. I am 20, got a good job, a car. But I am not on my own 2 feet. I don't have my proffession yet and don't live by myself. When I get lonely like this, I will attempt to be with anyone, call my friends and try to go out as much with them. I forget that my goal is important. No, I don't forget, but I evade the goal (In my case studying).
Is there anyone else that gets the same way
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Loneliness, relationship addiction...
*nod nod*
Our most basic human needs have strong pull on our decisions.
The only thing that helps me take the edge of off Relationship Addiction (I kid you not, there's literature about it) is my guinea pig. She is my drug of choice and so long as I am a benevolent giant pig sister she is content with my excess of attention on her potato-shaped person. They are highly sociable herd animals.
If you're close to family they can help with short-bursts of socialization? I call family overseas for long chats and it helps me feel safe and loved.
Can you use any of that in your life?
fyi, h.a.l.t.
AA has this thing called HALT -- never get too Hungry Angry Lonely or Tired, because at those times we're more at risk for out addictions. I think that confirms what you're saying here.
I wish i had more advice for the relationships issue. From my perspective, i just try to maintain my awareness of who i am in god, and that is so much more than i could ever need, that i dont need anything else. But i'm not sure how applicable that is to your situation.
But i do think that sharing with us here is an excellent, positive step in you figuring this out for yourself.
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
Thanks for sharing that
I feel so much less upset at myself for bailing out (very conciously) from my earlier choice to not eat junk food today.
I was H and T and then I started to feel L and A. I walked straight to the junk and ate it, thinking the whole time: I don't know why I want this, but I really really do. So thanks for explaining it. Hopefully this means I'll avoid the trap next time! :)
I felt ok today, lonelyness
I felt ok today, lonelyness has more or less left me. Here I am by myself and I feel alright.
"From my perspective, i just try to maintain my awareness of
who i am in god, and that is so much more than i could ever need,
that i dont need anything else."
I don't understand what you mean. But I am guessing that you've
reached Enlightenment?
Thanks for the support Clement
And thank you Journey
lonliness -> procrastination
I think back on my life....I never had a serious boyfriend until my husband. And I met him when I was a month shy of 30. Before him, there was a guy I was with for about six months or so. I was lonely, and he was a good guy. But I wasn't with him for him, I was with him to not be lonely, to go to the pub with him and his friends, to hang out with him at his place...needless to say, it didn't end very well.
I know all too well that loneliness bites the big one. But you say that you study - keep studying. A semester is three, four? months long, and then you have a couple more courses done....in relatively few months you will be done your certificate/degree, and you will have completed something huge, something monumental, for yourself.
Just keep yourself, your happiness, in mind. This person is already causing anxiety in you...that isn't happiness.
Just be you, have faith in yourself. Others see this and will be drawn to you.
Having said that, I know, I know, easier said than done.
Nevertheless, it is true. I wish you much strength!
Nothing is worth more than this day - Goethe
Wow, thanks for the reply.
Wow, thanks for the reply. Thank you
for pointing out that I've got to do things for myself. And not only
have I heard that being yourself and positive draws people to you,
but have experienced it on a number of occasions.
I woke up this morning and felt
better, my anxiety was gone. And after reading this, I feel a lot better, I can move on with my thoughts and life.
Thanks so much.
re: loneliness
Best of luck with the new relationship!
Jo
"Time is what keeps everything from happening at once." - Johnathan Wheeler