Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Sunday, 6th August 2006
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It's late, It's Sunday, But I need to CI
Things are going well. I've been offboard, but I've been working full time and I got the job they hired me for done. Friday was my deadline and I met it. The printer will pick up a disc tomorrow at 9:30, so I have to get there on the early/on-time side.
The weekend was really fun, (went horseback riding in the Pacific Ocean this morning, for heaven's sake!!!! Can you believe it!? Exquisite. So grateful.) But I've slithered off now for 3 hours here at home by myself. I could call it relaxing, but, truth is, I have some things to do. Maybe with the help of this Check-In, I can.
as of 7 pm
Put away all clean dishes
Clean the few dirty ones
Put away clean clothes
put dirty ones in hamper
Put away papers (there's not too much of any of it, so this shouldn't take too long.)
take out contacts, and wear glasses
at 7:30, with a clean desk, try to be responsible to my freelance client
Place finished Logo on a Word one-sheet for HWP -- Paragraph Styles and Layout, save as Template
Show Hans the logo in doc
no more than an hour
Finish integration of Logo on final design page
Design navigation around it
Turn PSD into HTML, make space for Text, evolve CSS
Deliver an HTML template and FTP all to site
9:45 Figure out what to wear tomorrow. Bath or shower, Get ready for bed and read.
Up at 6:30 and it begins again.
(I know I'm doing this wrong, but if I don;t at least start hopeful, I'll never get anything done at all except sleep. Bear with me.)
Gnothi Seauton ~ Know Thyself
Bearing, with compassion
I got a late start myself. Great to be able to start at any time, isn't it? Never to late if you're willing to do it.
I'm really here. You're hearing me. Thank you. And I really do want to do these things. Dishes and kitchen and papers: done. Clothes? I'll fold up socks when I'm done with some of this work, closer to bedtime. It's 8:15. Not great, but not bad. Here I go with the hard part.
How's it going?
You seem to be 2 hours earlier than me, and it's midnight here (I should be in bed), so I was just wondering how you're doing there, now that it's near bedtime there?
Not so good
I really hope you're in bed. Thanks very much for checking on me. Yikes. I did nothing but conceptualize work (draw, write, think). I laid down a few pixels, but got a phone call and now am planning on just getting in bed on time myself. I'm disappointed because I didn't really try very hard. Was very easily distracted by the web and music and.... ugh. I'm getting that sinking feeling of having let myself off the hook. I'll try again tomorrow after work, to work on this project. It needs me. I have to really understand that it's going to take more than a half-hearted effort. Not mind-numbing perfectionist effort, but steady progress, right? I guess it's sort of good that I'm not going to let myself time-debt and punish myself by not sleeping tonight. Not good for the master plan which is to be in good shape for my real job. At least that's different than in years past. -- Good night.
Bookending and Peer Support Work!!!!
Really guys! I'd probably have put off dealing with any part of the taxes for weeks or months longer if I hadn't gotten involved in this site and had your support and encouragement. As it is, I did two monumentally important things EVEN WITH all the other sidetracks. Way cool! I've seen that happen with others, too. This is great! THANK YOU!
slider's 9:20 CI
I'm proud of myself for tackling two enormously scary, nasty tasks. So proud I was ready to goof off as a reward (which would probably lead to some time-bingeing on something). I will let myself relax and do someting enjoyable, but first, I need to reconsider my to do list.
-Laundry (or there will NOT be clean underwear tomorrow!!!)
-Don't skip bedtime routine
-don't stay up too late as a treat
I've been trying to stick to routines, too. They say you can learn good habits just like you can learn bad ones (like procrastinating), so I'm trying to make my morning and evening routines a habit. Falling asleep on the couch fully dressed is not really that good.
The other thing I'm trying to do each morning is make a plan for what I want to accomplish that day - to at least THINK about it. For years I've let the wind blow me - never tried to deliberately move my life in one direction or another. So, for example, the two things I really wanted to make sure I did today were take a walk before it got dark, and make a dent in my accounting. I did both! :)
We live near Texas A&M University. The "Aggies" make high-pitched woops whenever they are lauding something. Woop! Woop! for you! :D
i live in DFW area - just nice to see someone from same state here :)
Same here. 8)
your being here is helping ME!!
Slider, we can do together what we cannot do alone. That is the basis of 12-step programs, and Procrastinators Anonymous is a 12-step program (although we haven't done much step practice so far).
The article you posted about demand resistance was very helpful to me - touched on something very central to my own procrastination problem (which is HUGE). I think that learning more about this will help me turn the corner.
Bookending helps me, too - even when no one else is here, bookending keeps me on track. But of course, it's a lot nicer when someone else is here - especially someone dealing with back taxes, as I am.
pro, did you realise you started this on the Books thread??? :)
I have been slogging away at my presentation all evening (it's 10pm here), and this afternoon I had 2 precious hours alone at home to practice so I gave the dog a sneak peak at my presentation. She knows lots about how to organise her office now :lol:
I still have HEAPS to do, and tomorrow won't be productive (kids at home and a business meeting in the middle of the day) so I will be up all night tomorrow night, I'd say. Oh, well, it should be all worth it when I wow them (I hope!!).
> pro, did you realise you started this on the Books thread???
Blah. No. And this software is so crappy I'm not sure if I can move it. I'll try. :(
I love 'drat' - it cracks me up every time someone uses it (I have no idea why!).
I'll make you laugh, too
I think I used it somewhere last night!
It's in the bookending section now.
Up and At 'Em
Morning, Pro! How long will you play? Schedule play breaks for later, too!
Got up at 6:30
Found clean underwear (got lucky)
Head to church at 8:30
Review lessons and calendar
Check for announcements
After church, find IRS letters.
Read IRS letters
Sort piles on table till table is clear
Hot Damn, I Did It!
Called treasurer. She said it was no problem. I'll find out from the CPA what the amount should be that she withholds, and the treasurer will also talk to some people she knows about it.
No problem! Geez, what am I, a man or a mouse? (to quote the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz--actually I am neither, LOL).
You did it!! That is great! You are on your way.
WE are on OUR way. I have quite a ways to go with this accounting, but I made a start today, and so did you. We're awesome, huh??? :D
way to go
way to go slider (that does mean sliding forward :D )
You moved your muscles to make that call - and proved you're a man, not a mouse :)
Success begets success ;)
my hubby cheered me when I made the call.
she's a woman, not a mouse.
slider's check-in: opened and noted
I found the letters. They weren't where I thought, which alarmed me. Kept looking. Thought I found 'em--but they turned out to be three from August 2005 I had never opened, with comments regarding tax years 2002, 2003, 2004. Finally, I located them. Comments on amount due and interest owed for years 1998, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003. It's bad: the total they figure is a little over $45,000. The interest was not as bad I had feared, though it's still adding up. No penalties yet. And the figures they cited excluded one of our dependents because the SSN was incorrect, so if we fix that, it might knock a little off (maybe about the same as the interest for a few of those years). Plus they did not include any deductions.
I feel both better and worse. Better, because I had feared the interest would be much higher. Some has accrued for an awfully long time! I had imagined it would be up to around 30% of the unpaid amount, or even worse. I'm also relieved that they haven't (or hadn't) assessed any penalties. I feel worse in that the amount we estimated last April for these same years was only about $26,000.
I think I read somewhere that a payment plan could be spread out over as much as 10 years, though the interest continues to accrue on the balance each month. $45,000+ divided by 120 months is only around $165, though! This is doable!
I'm tempted to just call and make a payment plan, as is. These amounts are the highest possible amounts, though, because the IRS figured it without one dependent and taking NO deductions. We could get the amount owed much closer to that $26,000 if we redid them all. WE are entirely too phobic (DH has anxiety disorder) and overwhelmed (me) to do it ourselves at this point, so we just agreed to take everything we've got to a CPA here in town. I am putting everything we've got into a box to take to the accountant. We'll be happy paying her for her time to sort it all out--it'll be a lot less than the difference between what she can figure and what the IRS figured! Also, clergy are exempt from withholding, but withholding can be done voluntarily (though it's not normal and this church has never done that before). I never make the quarterly payments I am supposed to, so I'm going to ask the treasurer if she'll start withholding. We'll have to learn more about how to do it. It really embarasses me to ask her. And then she'll have to make some kind of report to the Council, so in my mind I imagine everybody talking about it behind my back, or even somebody (my council president is the kind of person to do this) arguing against it unless he learns every detail. But we never pay the quarterlies, and at the end of the year we never have enough money to pay the taxes. But I'm going to call my treasurer right now anyhow. I have a HUGE storm of self-criticism and self-loathing going on inside. But I'm telling myself to forget what has already happened and just take one little baby step NOW. Wish me luck.
courage, slider - you done good!!!!!
Hooray, Slider!! You did the scary thing!!!! :)
You can always make deals with the IRS. They'll take 50 cents on the dollar sometimes. You might want to have someone negotiate this for you. Did you say you were going to call a tax attorney? Or an accountant?
Don't be embarrassed about asking for withholding. It's just a convenience for you. Why shouldn't you have a convenience? :)
Don't want to inconvenience her
Or make alterations to the budget. It should be a wash, but a new line item would be needed. But I'll see what she says. And I thought we'd let the CPA figure out what the actual amount is before we take it to a tax attorney. I figure the CPA is cheaper for that than an attorney. Plus, then I'll have to figure out how to find one. I already know an accountant.
tried to hit stop. didn't work, so I edited. Don't know how to delete.
you want me to delete something?
I can delete something for you if you want. Just tell me what.
I already edited it
It was the Oops--before that it was a duplicate of the one right before that. And as for me seeing myself as a burden, one of my really core childhood lessons was that I am not supposed to have any needs! Nuts, I know. And I've really tried to exorcise that thinking, erase that tape from my inner library. but it keeps reasserting itself.
catch the self-talk
When you notice yourself sliding into the old thinking, argue with it. Stop the old tape and put on a new one.
Have you read Desiderata? I love this line in particular. When I first read it, it made me cry because I grew up feeling as you did:
"You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here."
I had the same reaction. I first read it at my step-father's house. My mom later gave me my own copy. I never believed that I deserved to be here. I felt like a cosmic mistake. In fact, I thought as a child that my parents had my sister because I wasn't a good enough child, and once I screwed up enough they would toss me out. I've pretty well healed that belief, but I still haven't healed the notion that I shouldn't have any needs. Desires are ok--they don't have to be acted on, after all (and I seldom do). But needs will give somebody trouble, and I "shouldn't" trouble anybody. And god forbid I should go to any trouble myself on my own behalf. (I'll do it in a heartbeat for anyone who doesn't expect it of me, but not where it is expected.)
I should have said that I seldom act on my CONSCIOUS desires! Procrastinating is certainly meeting some kinds of desires.
I know you are not used to putting any kind of priority on your needs and desires, but why is your urgent need somehow less important than a minor inconvenience to a bookkeeper? Think about it.
I hope it's minor
But I don't know. The other thing is I know how many burdens she has. Of course, she's very competent and able and she cares about me. The real problem is that I find myself a burden!
you are not a burden
Every human on this earth is equallly valuable. The needs and wants and dreams of every human being are important. That includes YOU.
If you need something, you not only have the right to ask for it, you have the responsibility, because you are responsible for your own self-care. As long as what you want doesn't impinge on the rights of someone else, you are free to ask for it without guilt. If the other person doesn't want to give you what you ask for, she will tell you. It's the other person's responsibility to take care of herself and to make sure that the demands upon her are not excessive.
This is how it works when you are an adult. Each person is responsible for their own self-care, and reaches out to help others to the extent that they can without harming themselves.
You are an adult; the bookkeeper is an adult. You have an urgent need, and asking for it does not impinge on the bookkeeper's personal rights. If she doesn't want to do it, she'll tell you.
So ask for what you need without hesitation and without shame.
slider's 3:30 check-in
Yeah, late to be finally doing this. I am finally getting to the tax stuff.
-Got up at 6:30
-Found clean underwear (got lucky)
xEat Breakfast (skipped)
-Head to church at 8:30
-Review lessons and calendar (actually came up with object lesson and interactive gimmick for getting folks involved, and did a gentle, loving sermon on gratitude and how we often can't see the blessings we are showered with as blessings--same as thursday at nursing home but with more interesting illustration)
-Check for announcements
-went to lunch with youth group (forgot that was today)
-listened to step-mother-in-law making Thanksgiving plans (Thanksgiving is in late November, milo and normy) to meet in Denver with other family members and browsing cheap flights, which they offer to pay for as our Christmas present (45 minute phone call)
-spent 30 minutes on toilet secretly reading a paperback as my reward for the above
-Buy binders for all seven years of back taxes (I'm following some suggetions from milo. See chatbox from last night)Today is tax free day for school supplies--yay!
-After church, find IRS letters.
-Read IRS letters
xEat lunch (delete)
-Sort piles on table till table is clear, taking breaks every 30 minutes
WTG slider!!!! And so...?
Your Ta-Da and To-Do lists are funny! Congratulations on the clean underwear. LOL :D
I suggest that the #1 item on your to-do list be Read IRS letters. That's what you're dreading, and you don't even know right now that you'll need binders. Arguably, binders are a procrastination.
So right, and it's no surprise...
...that I really dawdled at the store. Besides getting school supplies and binders, I looked at boys' t-shirts even though my husband had JUST finished shopping with DS, looked at girlswear even though DD won't be home from my mother's for another week, bought some pants for myself and some beading supplies, bought some make-up....All the while I was telling myself not to buy things I didn't really need and not to waste time. I think maybe that only made me worse. It's that demand resistance thing. While I was buying the binders, I was enjoying the thought of 'taming" the taxes, making them less frightening. But at the last moment,in the check-out line, I was thinking, "This is so stupid; I've already got most of the stuff in manilla folders...somewhere...except receipts...do I even still have the receipts?" To make the best of it now, I will say I LOVE buying school supplies, I adore school supplies (I was depressed every fall in the years between college and the year my firstborn went to school, because I had no reason to buy school supplies!), so I will regard this entire shopping trip as a fun event. I hadn't earned it yet, of course. Ok, here goes--straight to those IRS envelopes, now....
don't worry about it...
As FlyLady says (or someone says - not sure if it's FlyLady), you can start your day over at any time. I was dawdling this morning, and I got back on the beam. Hey - we're procrastinators, that's what we do! :)
So what do those letters say??
good morning, slider!!!!!!!!!
You'll have to remind me to take play breaks. I'm not good at moderation. I either do nothing but play, or nothing but work. :?