Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Paralyzedinparadise introduces herself

Hi All,

First I need to thank Agnus, who sent me just a short welcome back at the end of July.  It wasn't until tonight that I was able to open it, and reading just that small warm curtesy made me feel like I was, in a very small way, cared about by someone.  And I really needed that.


So here I am, and although I know my introduction picture will be far from complete, I'm gonna try my best to start to paint it.


My most critical problem is that I am unemployed and loosing financial ground fast.  For the first time, I was fired from a job, and I have let the events leading up to my firing and how I've handled it since do a royal mind fuck on me.  Thoughts and feelings that I have battled since include the following:

 If I was fired for X, and A and B and C created and led to X, and A and B and C are still runnning my life, how can I expect to not fail, again?

How the hell to I address my having been fired in an interview?

There are so many others, but of course now that it is the time to articulate them, they've all flown from my mind.  What a bizarre and rare form of relief...


I feel as though I have been deteriorating over time.  One facet of that is that I have compromised some incredible qualities.  I used to be regarded, by others as well as myself, as someone with a jolly and sharp sense of humor, and a captivating story teller.  One of the reasons I changed was because I feared people didn't and wouldn't take me seriously.  And some people didn't.  What they didn't see was that that was my energy.  That was what sparked me into microbursts (thanks, movingalong).  That was my incredible attitude.  That was my positivity.  I was silly, but never in inappropriate ways or at inappropriate times.  I kept groups of people moving and engaged, whether building houses as a volunteer or keeping classmates quick, pumped, on their toes and having fun while stomping out enormous group projects.


While it feels like my life right now is nothing but goals, this is one more:  to, in these respects, get back to the person I once was.  It helped keep depression at bay.  I have the right to be happy, in My Own Way.

In a future posting, I will need to hammer out some flawlessly constant irrational thoughts of mine that work to make up the larger storm of self-abuse.  It seems at this very moment that I am in its eye; these thoughts are oddly absent.


As I read more posts and make more posts, I ask that all members, if what I write speaks to you in any way and you have a moment, to let me know.  I am especially interested in people's similar experiences and feeling and thought cycles.  One thing that this group offers that I cannot ask of my friends is a place to be HONEST.  Brutally, painfully honest.  The worry that I would cause pain to those who know me is too much for me to bear.  There are thoughts and feelings that I NEED to talk about, to confess, to get off my chest without causing pain to those I care about.  I want and need to use this as an outlet to do that.


Thanks to everyone for being here and throwing what you've got and what's going on with you into the mix.  Your experiences have already helped me: I just wrote a full post!




Glad you are here, para :)

Hi Para!

Glad you are here :)

Compliment: for many people in the world, your story of AB&C is also true for them, and a lot of times they get stuck in the past -- like you say with AB&C&X defining them. The difference is: you are accepting AB&C, trying to grow in a positive path, and find What Is Right for you now! :) So kudos to you! Keep coming back! We are glad you are here! :)


Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)

Hi paralyzedinparadise!

Welcome, and I am so glad to hear that my greeting mattered for you. That warms my heart. It shows me my Higher Power is at work, as I pass along the encouragement I have received here from others.

I really relate to your intro post, especially the wicked abuse of self and depression. The program and fellowship really have given me a sense of hope, new personal growth, and even an occasional sense of victory. Beautiful qualities. Several times I have found myself shedding tears of gratitude for PA.

And yes, this is a safe place to be HONEST. In fact, most of us find that rigorous honesty with ourselves is essential to making progress out of the pit of despairing compulsive procrastination that brought us here.

Keep coming back and sharing, PiP. It sounds like you're in the right place, and we'll look forward to trudging the road of progress together.


Agnus, thanks for your reply!  It feels great to know that we are in communication:)

I hope that my tears of hopelessness will turn into tears of gratitude here. 

I will remind myself of your encouragement to keep coming back and sharing when I (easily) slip into "of what I would say, there's nothing that could contribute to other people and their experiences" type of thoughts.


I hope to get to know you and your struggles better. Thanks again!

Welcome Paralyzed!

Glad you have started posting, and good luck on that job hunt!  You won't find judgement here, just support.


If you can’t ride two horses at once, you shouldn’t be in the circus.”  - Jimmy Maxton, Independent Labour MP for Glasgow Bridgeton

non-judgemental key

Jo, thank you for all the work that you do with this site.  This place, free from judgement and with an abundance of support, may be the first place in years that I can really get some emotional and behavioral work done.

you're welcome paralyzed!

But most of the credit goes to Pro! 

If you can’t ride two horses at once, you shouldn’t be in the circus.”  - Jimmy Maxton, Independent Labour MP for Glasgow Bridgeton