Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
12 STEPS
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A place to discuss and share the 12 steps as they apply to our addiction
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bump
bump
read later
bump to read later
as i've just logged on to check in at the moment
cross post--another 12 steps working the steps thread
Sponsorship and Working the 12 Steps
at http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/3125
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
12 step group & sponsor needed
I am new to this site, but not new to addiction. I know that I need to find a 12 step group and that I need a sponsor who has already successfully worked the program. Can anyone give me direction or resources?
i really, really relate to
i really, really relate to this comment. i can let go for a bit... and then i take my will back. progress, not perfection, as they say...
opps, this was in reference to agnus' comments about step 3.
my dis-ease seems to morph into other things over the years. now, it is procrastination at the very, very forefront over everything and anything else.
Sharing on Step One (welcome others to share on this step too)
Hi All,
I've decided to spend a few moments in the next few days sharing and reflecting on the first three steps as part of my pro recovery.
I welcome others to share their experience, strength and hope on the steps as well.
Cheers,
Sarito
1. We admitted we were powerless over procrastination— that our lives had become unmanageable.
Procrastination in my life has led to:
* On the last points, I'm not sure what came first (sort of like the chicken or the egg question). I most likely procrastinate because of low self-esteem, shame, embarrassment, lots of fear, depression and regret (focusing on the past).
On the other hand, I know that procrasination also worsens all of the above mentioned issues for me... When I'm able to show up (even if I don't "feel like it"), I feel a whole lot better about myself.
Reading about the 12 Steps
You can read about the 12 steps in the book
"The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous" (click for details).
You can buy the book online, or in any used bookstore, or get it from the library.
You can also read about the steps online here: http://www.lovelandnet.com/rule62/12x12/steps_index.htm
(click on each step to read the description).
Many of the 12-Step groups use this book as a study guideline, but adapt the wording to fit their situations.
For example, you can substitute the words "procrastinator/procrastination/distraction" for the words "alcoholic/alcoholism/bottle". Etc., etc., etc.
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If you are uncomfortable with the word "God", you can substitute "Higher Power"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Higher_Power
You could use the "Collective Wisdom of All Those Who Have Recovered From This Addiction" as your Higher Power.
From Chapter One of the Big Book of A.A. :
You could also choose to substitute "philosopher/organizational-consultant/psychologist" or "wise mentor" -- instead of "priest/minister/rabbi". Whatever works for you.
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The point is to read the book and find the underlying descriptions of character flaws and recovery -- and adapt these concepts for our own recovery process.
Some other 12-Step groups have taken the this book and written a completely new book relating the principles to their own addiction/compulsion. I know there is a book called the "12 steps and 12 traditions of Overeaters Anonymous". And several other 12-step groups have written their own books, too.
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I think that discussing the steps here is a great idea.
Who knows? Maybe someday, we'll be able to put all our thoughts together and anonymously publish our own book callled the "12 Steps of P.A."
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Update for 12x12 link (Twelve Steps&Trads book)
"The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous"
is informally called
"the twelve and twelve";
abbreviated as "12x12".
The link I gave you for online reading -- was four years ago.
That site is down, but you can find an archived copy here:
http://web.archive.org/web/20100210131002/http://www.lovelandnet.com/rule62/12x12/steps_index.htm
However, AA prefers that you use their licensed version,
which is now available for free online as a pdf document.
To read it, you need Adobe Reader (as for all pdf documents)
but also you need a special EXTRA plug-in for their book - in addition.
This is explained here:
http://www.aa.org/1212/
They also sell it for $6.00 in an Ebook version -- on a special "AA eReader".
For now the A.A. eReader App may be obtained from the Apple App store for use on the Apple iPhone, iPod Touch and can be read on iPad in 2x mode.
Available in English, French, and Spanish
here:
https://eps.aaws.org/c-1-ebooks.aspx
You can also purchase the actual book in UK here:
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/products.cfm?ProductTypeID=1&StartRow=13
newcomers guide to the 12-Steps
Hi movingalong. Thanks for the updated info above on the book The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions, especially the free resources.
I'm working the 12-Steps in another fellowship, and have been recommended to also get the AA Big Book. I've found a portable size edition, as well as a free edition at http://www.aa.org/bbonline/ that needs the computer software you describe above to access - or here as a series of small pdfs. (There is also the modern version EZ Big Book and online edition which looks more accessible and easier to read as a supplement to the original.)
Many other 12-Step fellowships use the AA literature to provide a roadmap out of their afflictions, substituting the addiction for the word 'alcoholic' in their study of these life saving books. So if in the BB and in the 12x12, if one substitutes the word 'procrastinator' for 'alcoholic' and 'procrastination' for 'alcohol', say, then this can really illuminate what's behind the addictive side to our illness and inform the suggested road to recovery.
In case it is also useful there is this free resource on getting started on working the 12-Steps, which includes under 'tools' some unofficial free Step worksheets (mainly composed of lists of questions) to give one some sort of framework for working through each of the Steps http://www.12step.org/newcomers-guide.html. Plus there are guidebooks to working the Steps such this. (BTW the link in the guide below on Step 4 is no longer active, an archived page here.)
I'm also finding that attending a face-to-face meetings in other 12-Step fellowships (such as A.R.T.S., UA etc) has helped me to find a sponsor who can take me through the 12-Step process and support my recovery.
step 4 inspiration
from http://www.lovelandnet.com/rule62/12x12/step_4.htm as movingalong suggested:
i can see that. it inspires me and gives me hope.
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
thanks for these steps
i'd love to discuss here. But not now because i'm here to seek HP's strength to motivate me.
STEP 1
We admitted we were powerless over compulsive procrastination, that our lives had become unmanageable
Ways in which my life has become unmanagable
candidate bottomlines
From here, I'm already seeing some potential/candidate bottomlines or accessory bottomlines:
Ways I am powerless over my
Ways I am powerless over my addiction to procrastination....
I admire your candor
I don't often explore this site beyond the daily check-ins, but I happened to do so today and just now saw this series of posts you made several months ago, fudo_shin.
I want you to know that I am moved by the courage and candor you express here, and I am wishing you strength, resolution and serenity as you move forward in your healing.
The Hero's Code:
Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.
I'm not sure where I can
I'm not sure where I can post a first step. Where I come from for a first step, I just list the ways I'm powerless over my addiction, and then list the ways my life has become unmanagable on account of it. Let me know if there is something specific people are doing for the first step work. Thanks.
failure
as i posted in today's check-in thread (31 jul 2008) in response to agnus's spiritual time that lasted all day, i've been setting my timer for 1/2 hr for my quiet time /w god. Some days, when it goes off, i realize i have gotten distracted repeatedly for the whole 1/2 hr.
That makes me feel this step in a palpable way. It directs me immediately to step 2--if this is going to get better, it's going to be god. And as a result, step 3, please, god, i will let you fix me.
Step 1/unmanageable
Hi Pro Buddies!
What unmanageable looked like to me: I was having household & other projects to do; but would feel overwhelmed and avoid/go into Procrastination mode.
Solution: PA gives me a place to check-in daily; PA helps me feel a sense of accomplishment for the things I actually do (small or large). In the act of typing it for CI, a degree of organization is naturally added (which wasn't happening before).
Summary: on my own, I experienced powerlessness/unmanageability to a larger extent. Participating in PA gives me the kind of improvement I wasn't having on my own. Thank you, Pro & PA! :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
Step 1 reflections
I posted this elsewhere but it really belongs here as well..."I started by admitting that I've exhausted every possibility for overcoming procrastination, and remain powerless to stop doing it. Regardless of my feelings and apparently without my permission, I somehow was dealt a body that cannot stand the stress that procrastination causes me, and a mind that can't stop trying to get away with it anyway. That wicked combination makes my life unmanageable."
Procrastination can lead me to death, jails or institutions. I have health problems, some directly caused by procrastination. They require treatment that I neglect when procrastinating. I have legal and financial responsibilities that I criminally neglect when procrastinating. I am prone to depression and anxiety that worsen when I procrastinate, right to the edge of institutionalization.
Before PA I tried time management classes, life coaches, tough bosses, easy bosses, self-employment, switching financial institutions, treating procrastination as a character defect in other 12 Step programs, working at home, working at an office, working at the library, working to music, working in silence, working with others, working alone, batting my eyelashes, setting timers, using alarm watches, asking non-procrastinating friends to hold me accountable, pulling all-nighters, pulling back-to-back all-nighters, excess caffeine, illegal drugs (long ago), beating myself up, physically harming myself, crying, denying, admitting defeat, begging forgiveness, lying, blaming, dramatizing, creating diversion crises, seeking pity, screaming at God and myself, lying on the floor refusing to get up for 3 days, counseling, intervention, geographic cures, punishing myself, setting goals, refusing to set goals, praying, meditating, claiming I have excessive "creativity," suspecting I have Alzheimer's Disease, researching brain disorders in an attempt to diagnose and treat myself, homeopathic remedies, herbs, eating certain foods, abstaining from certain foods, exercising more, exercising less, sleeping more/less. None of these efforts cured me of procrastination.
What ways did you try for managing your procrastination before PA?
managing procrastination before PA
I did a LOT of beating myself up, which only made the problem worse.
Jo
"In our minds, we seek to be divine; but in our hearts, we know it's party time." - Rondo Bros in Aquarium Dreams
STEP 2
Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
My Favorite Step
Thank you for posting thesteps. I could not read all the comments on step 1 because they are too painful to read. I somehow don't want to believe so many parts of my life are affected by my procrastination.
In OA, I thought if I had some recovery in food, my life would be perfect. For many years not eating or drinking was all I could focus on, and that was ok. Peeling the onion layers is hard. This huge layer "procrastination" seems impossible.
Finding this site has been a miracle. I have some hope, but somehow I feel like I am hopeless. I am more aware, the last few days I have been late to appts, jobs, etc. and I am sure I don't have to post the consequenses.
I must leave in 5 min. to get to church in time. I am going.
Thank you will check in later
Step 2
Hi!
The on-line tools of PA help me move more in the direction that I need to be going. Thanks PA! :) Just being able to check-in and talk with Pro Buddies, is definitely a power greater than myself! I wasn't doing half as good without you! :) [and I mean *you*, fellow Pro Buddy! :) Talk to you later! :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
greater than myself
When I found this site I already had God in my life, but it wasn't helping me with procrastination. Part of my story is that I abuse "spiritual experience" in order to avoid responsibility for living my life in real time. Hours of prayer and meditation seemed more important than almost anything else, and certainly more important than tedium such as opening mail and washing dishes. Today I recognize this as just another form of procrastination - cleverly disguised as noble pursuit of God.
When I got honest in Step 1 I saw how the missing ingredient was humility, and that I gain humility by being "part of" something, belonging and sharing with a group of other people who are also struggling with various forms of procrastination. We have many things in common despite our different manifestations and lifestyles. I can't help but notice that all these steps start with "We..." I sure can't do this alone. Thanks for being here, PA-ers.
STEP 3
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God
I never intentionally untake Step 3
I never intentionally untake Step 3, which I took in 1980. But sometimes I find I have slowly and subtly acquired another addiction, such as procrastination. Even since joining PA and retaking Step 3 in this context, I find I have an amazing knack for resuming "control" of my procrastination - applying tips and tricks again, instead of applying the 12 Steps and Tools. For example, I once called daily check-ins my personal commitment to Step 3, but I no longer do daily check-ins. Hmmmm. This sort of thing is a warning for me.
Step 3 means I've quit playing God with my life, and I've signed on for any change in my thinking (will) and actions (life) that my Higher Power wants to effect in me. Moreover, I've signed on for a particular means of cooperating with that change: by actually doing Steps 4 through 12. Because I am a procrastinator, I tend to think about the Steps alot, talk about them a lot, write about them alot - and only rarely actually DO them. As with most addictions, the action is usually prompted in response to some acute pain.
Coincidentally, having once taken Step 3, failure to move ahead with the next steps generally causes acute pain sooner or later! I heard an AA speaker put it this way: "Taking Steps 4 through 12 is the action I take that enables me to live with the decision I made in Step 3."
For Me step 3 is about
For Me step 3 is about choosing to change and allowing The Higher Power to direct that change. I it is a step about honesty and integrity in my life.
For me it is about stopping the procrastination and accepting the outcome when I stop procrastinating. It may mean that I still do not complete the tasks and being willing to accept the consequences of that.....rater than procrastinating, not completing and then creating a crisis or some sort of chaos to excuse the non completed task. It may mean acccepting my limitations, the consequences of my limitations and being able to live with the limitation and consequences.
If I stop procrastinating I may find out what I am capapble of. This may mean sucess in or failure .....
I may turn my life to the higher power and initially I might not like the consequences of the decisioin to change....
Step 3
Hi!
I like my Higher Power :) He helped me find this program, which is already making my life better :) Thanks, HP! :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
STEP 4
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
i'm on step 4
i'm going to start doing this. i have decided that any inaccurate positive reputation i have (before myself lol), however seemingly safe it my feel, is hindering me experiencing greater recovery and connection with HP.
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
Thoughts about Step 4: Self-honesty without self-condemnation
I listen to a podcast called 'A Quiet Mind" by Robert Jackson, and I recently listened to an old podcast from 2006 about self-honesty, that really made sense to me. He says our natural tendency, after facing some less-than-flattering truth about ourselves, is to condemn ourselves for that fault. We must not, however, beat ourselves up about this truth. We must look at ourselves honestly and deeply, with love, in order to make a change.
From Benestrophe, about Step 4:
The purpose of this inventory is correction, not chastisement. To move from denial of imperfections to self-condemnation is no movement at all. Honesty requires a certain detachment. We must be willing to take responsibility for our responses to Life, and we must be willing to forgive ourselves. To judge oneself is no different than to judge another. Beating ourselves up over past mistakes only serves to make us miserable, and when we feel badly about ourselves, we bring unhappiness to those around us.
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." - Douglas Adams
Step 4
Hi!
Pace yourself in a written inventory: List/describe a Good Character Asset immediately after listing each character defect. This will help prevent feeling overwhelmed from listing all the character defects at once. End each journaling session with a Positive Asset!!! :)
It's helpful to have a sponsor, so they can guide you through an inventory booklet, outline, or plan.
In my other programs, I have done several 4th/5th steps over the years. Right now I'm going through the process of the final details of a divorce, plus will be moving in the next 2 months. When it's time to do my next inventory (say in a year or two), I will probably do it in one of my other programs, and include PA reflections within that 4th/5th Step which will cover larger topics such as the divorce as well.
4th and 5th steps can be helpful ways of Letting Go of the past, so we can be ready to Move On in our lives when the time is right. :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
Step 4 insights
I get some Step 4 insights when I use the Chatroom to work my way through a challenging task by applying the tools of Breaking It Down, Visualizing, and Noticing the Blocks (I don't think that's the exact wording of that tool but that's the idea). Every Block tell me something about myself; they're like clues to the core character issues that keep me standing in the shadows of life when I could be enjoying the sunlight.
STEP 5
Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
Step 5
Hi!
With my other programs, I also worked Steps 1-3 with my sponsors, so that by the time we got to Steps 4 & 5, I already had a high level of trust with them. I've been fortunate: all my 5th steps have gone well, and I've gotten a feeling of relief from them. They've helped me Let Go, accept the past as part of my life, and move on more than I could have on my own. I've still got a year or two to go before I'll be ready for another 4th-5th step; most likely I'll work it with my current sponsor.
This is an on-line group. If I didn't have an in-person sponsor from my support group, I would probably call a local Inter-Group for AA or Al-Anon, and ask if they knew a temporary sponsor I could talk with (long enough to do a 5th step). I've read sometimes people do 5th steps with a counselor or clergy; I guess it's what each person is most comfortable with.
Step 4 can take some time and reflection to prepare; Step 5 is a relief and a way of acknowledging where I am and where I have been. And lets me get ready to move on.
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
STEP 6
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Step 6 (PA specific)
Hi!
For Step 6 related to procrastination, I had definitely become ready for my Higher Power whom I call God to begin removing that defect of character.
Like others have said, I had started to feel overwhelmed, and would sit around, not sure of what to start on so not starting things, so definitely not having a feeling of accomplishment.
Somehow came across PA or a link that led to it, then started practicing ideas from this group.
Now that I am doing a Check-In every day, it is beginning to lodge in my consciousness that I am accomplishing SOME things each day/week/month, where as previously they all kind of blurred together, not registering. And every now & then I now achieve something on one of the previously procrastinated projects :)
However simple these small accomplishments are, they help me acknowledge what I am doing, and then I feel motivated to try several more things each day/week than I might have otherwise.
So to my Higher Power & PA, I am truly grateful :) Thank you, HP & PA! :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
STEP 7
Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
Step 7
Hi!
Convalaria's idea about having a Step Thread is benefitting me, because in my other group's Step meetings, we discuss Steps 6 & 7 in the same session. This PA thread is reminding me, that while Steps 6 & 7 are related, they are actually two different steps. Thanks, Convalaria! :)
[However, since this is the format I'm used to, I will start by saying:] Step 6: were entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character. Having been in recovery for a few 24 hours, I try to be cooperate with my Higher Power as much as I can, and to try to be aware of when he is providing me with new insights, helpful tools, etc.
Step 7: Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings. I need to be spending a little more time with my Higher Power. This would be a good prayer for me to include each day.
Oh my own, I wasn't doing so well on removing my character defect of procrastination. With my Higher Power helping me through PA, there are usually 1 or more modest improvements/actions daily. So thanks, HP & PA! :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
STEP 8
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Step 8
Hi!
I've done Steps 8 & 9 before, even though some of the people didn't really "get" what I was doing or why. However, I made the effort.
Since then, I have mostly been able to use my program to Prevent adding future amends. (lol). Or, I've been able to do 10th steps as I go along, so things don't build up.
When doing my next 5th step with my sponsor in my local program (12 step, but not PA), I'll review situations that have happened the last few years, and see if they think I need to make any other amends. Most likely, as my local support group says, it's more like I need to continue making amends To Myself.
My local group also clarifies, just inconveniencing someone usually does not count as "harm." So that is why it's helpful to work this step with a sponsor, to help weed out unnecessary false guilt, etc.
Also, a lot of amends can be made as Living Amends, which is me treating the other person better, "with a clean slate." I do that version of amends regularly.
My local group also says, for persons in the past who have died, Step 8 can be done by writing a letter to them, and then either reading it to your sponsor or at their graveside or other location. I haven't actually done that one; but I'm just mentioning it in discussing Step 8.
Steps 8 & 9 sound challenging, which they can be; but you really prep for them in Steps 4 & 5. And in talking with your sponsor, their feedback can make this step A Lot Easier.
Anyway, one of my goals in my remaining life is to not having to do more 8th/9th Steps ;) Talk to you later! :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
STEP 9
Step 9
Hi!
When I first got into recovery, I lived in Kentucky (USA) due to a family member being in school. Since they were almost ready to graduate, I knew I would move in about 6 months. So that motivated me -- for any amends I needed to make in Kentucky, I knew I needed to do them before I moved.
For the people with which I directly did a 9th Step in person with them, they didn't really "get" what I was doing, and I don't know that it meant much to them. However, it meant something to me; it let me have a clean conscience, and feel like I had cleared the air, and could have a new start when I moved back to my home state, and that I could leave the past behind.
Since then I have worked really hard on Not Adding Additional Things To Make Amends About, lol.
When I am ready to do my 4th & 5th Steps again, I will talk with my sponsor about those. I will also journal & discuss whether any other possible Amends are warranted for events over the last number of years.
Living Amends also work really well; I'm glad they work for most of my situations now. Thanks, HP! :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
STEP10
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Step 10
Hi!
When I first got in 12-Step program, I was told this is one of the Steps that anyone can start doing, even from the first day they were in the program.
During the several 24-hours that I have been in 12-step programs, somehow new occasions keep coming along, in which to work this step ;)
Well, I have found it to be a helpful step.
When I first notice things going off track, I try to use the next opportunity with the other person, to bring up the situation and start a discussion. Usually it turns out to be No Big Deal, gets me back on the right path, gives me a clean conscience, etc. ***Prevents Future Episodes of Steps 8 & 9!!!!*** lol
How Procrastinators Anonymous helps me with Step 10: Since I am checking in every day that I am in town, it helps me acknowledge what I am doing/not doing, which is sort of a personal inventory.
With a written list, I can notice which things need to be done, and made a Course Correction (when we were wrong promptly admitted it). [Some Course Corrections are more challenging/take longer than others ;)
Anyway, "Keep Coming Back" is What It's All About!!! :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
10th Step...
Hi. I think the 10th Step helps me most with procrastination. I try to go over the day before falling asleep, and when the same things are on my mind after a few days, it's time for me to do something about it by shifting priorities with it the following day. Try it for a few days, if you folks haven't. Talk about being accountable.
STEP 11
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.
Step 11 (just my humble opinion)
Hi!
"As we understood God"/Power Greater than Ourselves.
Instead of going it alone as we might have in the past, now we are in a Fellowship of Companions who understand and have also wrestled with many of the same challenging thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors that we have. We can experience acceptance and enouragement within this fellowship, and also learn and have inspiration from successes and sharings of those among us. This fellowship is a resource/Power Greater than ourselves, for which we are thankful :)
This is sufficient for working the program.
For those of us who may have, obtain, or consider having an additional specific Higher Power, this is a personal understanding which can be allowed to continue to be experienced at whichever time/pace is healthy and natural for us. If it is preferable for us to not have a specific Higher Power, that is the perogative of each one, and all are welcome in the program with respect for whichever understanding is the experience and preference of each.
Just my humble opinion :) And thanks for any other opinions/experiences, too! :) Keep coming back! :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
STEP 12
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive procrastinators, and to practice these principles in all our affairs