Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Financial insecurity

I would welcome others' reflections on how addictive procrastination and financial insecurity interact.  Abandonment of financial diligence is the single largest symptom of my compulsive procrastination.

It is progressive: I can trace its growth through my life, from a general dislike of math and numbers as a youth, to disdain for money and material possessions as a young adult, to small but harmless paperwork procrastinations and, finally, a fullblown addictive pattern: constant fear of financial insecurity co-occurring with preventable neglect of all things financial. During the last few years I have needlessly paid hundreds of dollars each year in late fees, penalties and interest - not because I lacked the money, but just because I would not do the actions necessary to avoid them.

Last year, the tally of fees, dues and penalties exceeded $2,000.  Amazingly, I still have fairly good credit; apparently the credit companies really LIKE someone who eventually pays and volunteers the bonus of all those late fees!:blush:  Right now I am 5 months behind in billing my clients for work I have done for them, as well as thousands of dollars in reimbursable expenses on which I am out of pocket. I know this makes no sense...well, unless you are as serious a procrastinator as I am.

Today when using the Chatroom to  apply the first three Tools (break it down, visualize, ask myself why) to a financial task that terrified me,  I discovered that I delay turning in expenses and billing, because it gives me a secret feeling that the Authority Figure OWES me. Which gives me a feeling of power and therefore of security. If I get square with the AF and "they" no longer OWE me, I am faced with walking today's tightrope without a safety net. I will be forced to rely on my own skills, talents, smarts, etc., and I fear that I do not have enough of these to make enough money to survive...and so I always have some backlog of "Owe Me." 

And, I conclude, it is in fact true that I do not, in and of myself, have enough of the Right Stuff to survive life on life's terms. Which is why I really need a Higher Power. The Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) says in its description of Step 4 that "we have now ceased" relying on our own limited resources, in favor of relying on God. I think that moment is upon me. Will I catch up, square up, and stay up with daily diligence even on money, and trust God with the results? 

re: financial insecurity

Financial stuff is scary to me.  I tend to procrastinate most about stuff that scares me, so it makes sense that the financial and legal issues are the last ones I get around to dealing with.

Many people on this forum mention problems getting financial and legal things taken care of, like TAXES lol.  I know I'm one of them!  Although since joining this forum, I have gotten my taxes under control.  (yay!)

Have you ever heard of Imposter Syndrome?  I read about it in relation to improving self confidence and self esteem.  This description really resonates with me, and from your post above, I'd say you might feel the same way.  This is from wikipedia.

"Individuals experiencing this syndrome seem unable to internalize their accomplishments. Regardless of what level of success they may have achieved in their chosen field of work or study, or what external proof they may have of their competence, they remain convinced internally that they do not deserve the success they have achieved and are really frauds. Proofs of success are dismissed as luck, timing, or otherwise having deceived others into thinking they were more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be. This syndrome is thought to be particularly common among women who are successful in their given careers."


"In our minds, we seek to be divine; but in our hearts, we know it's party time." - Rondo Bros in Aquarium Dreams