Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
A Squandered Life, a lost Career
Let's see...I'm 33, a guy, I play in a band, struggle with quitting smoking, and have been a Pro-crastinator as long as I can remember. Mostly, I want to quit Procrastinating because I see what it has cost me through out my life...most importantly the chronic destruction of my academic goals, I'm 33 and have more or less been a constant student for the last 15 years trying to finish a single BA degree. I always start with the best intentions, and 'this time I'm really going to do it!' but once the long slog of schoolwork sets in, there' always something more interesting or important to do. Particularly the 'more interesting' things get me, and schoolwork just pales in interest in comparison, and then it gets boring and awful, and I stop doing the schoolwork.
To my shame, I've dropped out/been kicked out of Four (!) Universities/Colleges due to my procrastination (one University twice!) . I could have/should have finished a degree at 21, at a great University, but instead am still not finished and am doing my school-work at a third-tier corresponence college, and getting only a 'General Studies' BA due to my screwed up academic record.
That just shames me and embarrases me to no end. What squandered potential, and what lost time!! The career I could have had as a Doctor has been lost, and instead I've been burning my time in dead-end low-wage jobs and living near-poverty for years. (Though I did enjoy living overseas for a number of years).
I saw a definition on the front page:
: Procrastinators do not have a problem with time
management. They have a problem with compulsive
avoidance.
And that's me exactly.
I've accomplished a lot in my life, but I can always feel how much opportunity has been lost, and what could have been for me. I've matured a lot and I really want to get this 'compulsive avoidance' addiction beat, and get my BA degree finally, (only one more course to go!).
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Compulsive avoidance
This is so true. I find that I am addicted, in a way, to disapproval as much as some people are addicted to approval. I feel as if I owe it to people to give them some reason to be angry at me - as if I have some obligation to fail.
hi wolf
just have time for a quick 'hi' because otherwise i will be procrastinating here (ironic, huh?)
i have to say that being distracted from the slog of work by interesting things--this has been the bane of my existance. One thing that has always bugged me--the things i get distracted--even they bore me eventually. Am i doomed to a life of bordeom?
Well, for me, i have decided that if i ever want to accomplish anything, i'm going to have to tolerate being bored to see the thing thru the end. That's why i'm here on this site. To keep myself bored (weird to phrase it that way, but, for me, that's it).
Even now i can feel myself getting "interested" in going into more depth about this, but i have things i'm supposed to get done for other people today, and i dont want to let them down, so i'm going to tear myself away and go do those.
Anyway, welcome to the group, i hope you find it helps with your recovery as much as i do.
squandered
Welcome. You are in the right place.
I wrote a lengthy and profound piece which just deleted as I posted it, but basically, there is opportunity to be found in all those squandered years. Life is just beginning at 33 (I say as someone who started over for the third time then). Success is not always measured in material goods, nor in the quality of the college you complete: for me, I nowfind success when I finally complete something, even if it is not on the original plan that I had intended.
I can only write from my experience, but your distractability is familiar to me and perhaps might be a symptom of ADD. I find that I often lose sight or interest in my long term goals unless I structure my life around them, and even then, those goals sometimes dissapate. I was able to determine that I needed constant stimulation of a variety of sorts and that I was generally good at a lot of things, so no one thing stood out. I now work in a library setting and love it, because I am interested in everyone's questions. I love learning, discourse, and ideas, but I don't always follow through on things to the end, because my interest peters out along the way.
In any case, welcome. You are in the right place.
smoking
I know it sounds inane, but I finally quit smoking when I got a big case of bronchitus and the doctor told me I would feel that way every time the weather changed. I did it by knitting the most attrocious scarf anytime I wanted a smoke. It also helped that I was incredibly sick in bed and that my boyfriend at the time was too busy to be in the house. When he finally came back and smoked near me it was the most vile smell to me (I had not smoked for 5 days).
I also rubbed the sensory area above my upper lip with my finger to satisfy my oral fixation. It can be done, but you may want to try being away from others who smoke for a while.
Delayed degrees
Failed out of college, squandered potential, lost time... yep, that's me too.
But you can keep at it and make progress. As an example: I finally finished my bachelor's degree, about seven months before my 40th birthday.
Just a couple of days ago, I spent some time looking at the diploma and reminding myself that I had done it, because old habits of thought have a nasty way of returning. It's real, it's mine, I did it... and you can too. I promise.
--
flexiblefine
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheNowHabit/
To Wolf "could haves" and "should haves"
Wolf wrote:
"That just shames me and embarrases me to no end. What squandered potential, and what lost time!! The career I could have had as a Doctor has been lost"
First of all Wolf, you are still young and you can do whatever you want with your life!
Second, read through Pro's articles on this site. Let go of the embarrassment and shame and stop beating yourself up! Then, start working to improve. We'll be working right along side you.
Jo
"Stay on target!" - Gwen D., aka Gold Leader