An introduction and a request for help
I have joined this group because I am a chronic procrastinator. I guess that I've been a procrastinator all my life, but it was only after my teens that it started to realize that procrastination was causing me big problems. I am now 35 and I feel that I have wasted most of the last 15 years of my life because I procrastinated.
It affects all aspects of my life: work, study and even accomplishing simple tasks as washing the dishes (and I have a washing machine…). It even affected my last relationship. I am now seeing someone who I love and I want to have a future with her, but I am afraid that she’ll find out about my problem (we’re not living together yet) and that it will affect this relationship like it affect the previous.
I have a job that doesn’t satisfy me, neither financially or personally. Even though I have never failed a deadline, I often find myself working late at night because I procrastinated during the day. I’m also studying engineering. I’ve been dragging my studies for ages. Even before I started working, I was already dragging my studies. Even tough I have enough time available to study almost everyday, I rarely do. I want to pursue a new career in engineering, but I still have 3 semesters to go. For the last 3 years, I haven’t set foot in an exam. I delay my study until it is too late and there is no point attending the exam. Now, at 35, I realize that if I want to change careers, I must move fast, because I’m getting too old in a very competitive world.
All of this causes me great anxiety and stress that sometimes turns into depression. I have sought professional help with a therapist in the past, but with no results. I just continued procrastinating. Last time I went to see my shrink, I told him that I didn’t want any anti-depressives because I had realized that the only cure for my constant depressions and my anxiety was doing something with my life. He agreed and we talked about my problem for a while. This was last February. Since then, I’ve tried to not let myself procrastinate so much. I think I’ve done a little progress as far as simple tasks are concerned, like paying bills, keeping the house more or less in order, but it is clearly insufficient. I’m having a test 12 days from now and I haven’t started studying for it yet.
The feeling I have is that time is running out for me. I almost panic when I think of the consequences of continuing to delay my life endlessly. Right now, the aspect of my life where I need more help with are my studies. I believe that if I manage to finish my engineering degree and get a new job, I will have moved forward and I will start to get some satisfaction out of life.
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Oh, man! ...
When I read your post, it was just as if it were I who was speaking! There are so many parallelisms!...
I read you saying that
"I am now 35 and I feel that I have wasted most of the last 15 years of my life because I procrastinated"
"I must move fast, because I’m getting too old in a very competitive world"
" I delay my study until it is too late and there is no point attending the exam"
and, as I said, I think it´s me writing all this stuff (100% !).
I´m also an engineering student in my early 30s, struggling to move forward to get the degree but thinking that I´ll never get it due to procrastination.
Also trying to cope with my job and "bedtime procrastination", as you called it.
It´s incredible that a person can continue messing up his life and future and still continue at it no matter how long he´s been screwing it up in the past...
Without doubt the most desolating thing is to deal with the lost time, because it´ll never come back.
Anyway, if I can help somehow, feel free to contact me by email via the "contact" button when you click on my profile´s name, or if you want we could chat on this site (there´s a chatbox here at PA).
Hi Troymac :)
It sounds like you are in the right place. We're glad you're here! :)
Keep coming back! :)
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
You can't change the past, and your time is not wasted if you have learned from it. The only thing to do is go forward and do the best you can! We will be here for you.
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” - Stephen Covey
Thank you for your kind words journey. You are absolutely right, but when I procrastinate I can't help myself from reliving some past experiences. I guess that once I start moving forward, I will think less and less of the past, but right now, I'm experiencing a slow and painful start. I guess that's normal, tough.