Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Hello everyone new to the forum / My Story.
Hello everyone, I'm 19, my name's James and I'm a chronic procrastinator. :blush:
Ever since I could remember, I've always been procrastinating. It's getting to the point where it's so bad, I'm failing in college and I just feel like I'm going no where in life. I really don't know what to do anymore. I keep telling myself, "Hey your going to do better next time", "I'll do it tomorrow, I swear", "I'm going to change and get serious this", etc, but it never happens. I continue to wait until the last minute to get anything done, whether it be my college assignments, turning in a job application, meeting my friends, and doing things asked by my parents. I'm so sick of procrastinating but I can't stop. Many of my friends will say, "dude your just being a lazy ass, quit *ucking around." I wish it were that easy but I CAN'T. I'm always finding ways to avoid my college assignments and various task needed to be done during the day, because just thinking about them gives me a little anxiety, so I find ways to avoid them by either surfing on the internet or cleaning/organizing things. It's funny, because I have ALL the time in the world to get any of these things accomplish, however I'm such an idiot, I'd rather spent countless of hours on my computer or daydreaming.
Music is probably the closet thing that I have passion for and even I can't even spend the time making it. My dream is to become a great musician/producer. However, I find myself daydreaming about it rather than doing it. I've spent nearly a thousand dollars on equipment, I figured, Hey, maybe if I buy these expensive thing's it'll force me to use them. But it doesn't, I have this equipment laying around, and again, I keep saying, "i'll get to it", "ill start using it" BUT I ALWAYS try and find excuses such as, "I don't have enough equipment!, once I get this piece, then I'll start to do it." My friend tells me,"why buy all this equipment if your not going to use it?"... I know what yall are thinking, maybe he's right, maybe music isn't quite your thing.. but I DO LOVE MUSIC, I WANT TO BECOME A MUSICIAN AND PRODUCER. I find myself giving up to easily when trying to compose a piece, I AM a perfectionist when it comes to certain things, however, If it doesn't turn out right the first time, I'll give up and say, "I'll finish it tomorrow or some other time." This applies to anything that I do as well, if I feel like i can't get it done RIGHT the first time, then I won't attempt to do it at all, I'll push it aside thinking maybe I'll do a better job later.
Daydreaming has become a major problem for me. Of coarse, everyone daydreams, but I find myself daydreaming excessively and maybe too much. It's my way of escaping reality and helps me to deal with my problems. While it does motivate me, it also consumes most of my time needed to accomplish things. For example, I have a paper due the next day but I'll spend a good hour sitting there daydreaming of me finishing my paper! I'll be happy for a moment but then realize that I haven't typed a single thing on my paper. The same goes for anything in my life, I'll daydream about getting things accomplish, what i'll become, what i'll do but I never do it.
My computer also contributes to my time wasting. I've come to realize that I AM and computer addict. I will spending nearly every chance I get on the computer. Surfing the internet, watching porn, and searching for music. I can't get off this thing. It really didn't hit me until my mother asked, " Are you always on your computer, when are you getting off that thing?" I get angry but realize that I've probably sat down on the computer for 6 hours...
Anyways, I'm sick of this. I'm sick of procrastinating. It's true, "Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried." I feel like i've missed out so much during my life time because of it, I could have became this, I've could done that. But what am I now? lol I really am the definition of a loser, I have nothing and have done NOTHING. While everyone around me seems to be going some where in life... I feel like I'll never get anywhere. My parents that I love to death, have worked so hard, to give me everything. They've always tried to give me the best of everything, putting me in a private school, buying me anything that I ever needed with only the hope and expectation that I do well in school. And I can't even give them that.... I feel like a horrible son, even after realizing what all they've given me, I can't even do the one thing they ask.
So I'm here right now, desperately asking/seeking for help. I can't do this alone anymore... I've actually started to pick up smoking and drinking to help cope with my depression and anxiety.
Thank You, in advance for the ones who are taking the time to read this. I would also like to apologize for my poor grammar and lack of vocabulary that could have helped yall understand what I was trying to express clearer. I have very poor writing skills.