New Member Bio....
Hello everyone,
I'm not quite sure what to say about myself, but here goes,
I have been procrastinating since about third grade I think, but somehow managed to get into college. Currently I am buried in school work but avoid it like the plague. I've really got to get it together or I'll end up flunking out and disappointing not only myself but my husband too. Up until two semesters ago I had a 3.5 GPA and then it was like something broke and I got a downward spiral to a 2.62. I'm still not sure what it was that happened, but since then I've felt nearly paralyzed with fear when I start to write or research a paper. I feel like everything I have to produce for school is under such scrutiny that it scares me. Plus I have no idea what I would do if I don't buckle down and get this degree.
Mostly I think I procrastinate out of fear of change, failure ect...
I've got more papers to write than I can handle (12 or so) and am currently behind on all of my classes. So I've got a mountain of guilt that keeps me up at night and makes me feel like crap all day, come to think of it that’s probably why I feel compelled to nap in the afternoons.
So I am going to try bookending out as soon as I type out the long list of things I need to get done.
Does anyone write a blog? I thought that might even be a good tool, except I have to write all the time for school as it is.
If you want to know more about me let me know....
Sorry about the rambling,
-psychwriter
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it's painful to face overwhelming tasks
sometimes when i force myself to face my overwhelming tasks, it's almost as if it's physically painful. As if i'm walking thru knives as i walk to my desk to sit at my laptop and start on them. It's not fun.
I'm routing for you to start on your many papers. It sounds really hard. I know how you feel. At work i am behind on 5 tasks right now that are all due and people keep emailing about how they need them.
So, i have to go be brave and face that now...
Physically painful
clement,
I know the pain of what I call "motivation deprivation". Tasks that do not motivate me.. and that doesn't always mean, they aren't important; are truly painful for me also. Last Monday, I had procrastinated an appointment for 2 weeks. The pain of actually going was SO HARD, that I had to speak to myself out loud, "I Can do this!" "I Can Do this!"
The actual work of going was one of the true moments in my life when I MADE myself go...and I swear I didn't want to do it. But it is like Edge writes in his tagline... and I'll botch this up, "action is the best remedy for anxiety." After the meeting I was singing and chirping and felt great!
"Just do it" was a brainchild of Dick Nike, but I'm telling you, it is the cure for the pain. We often avoid the medicine that will make us well.
hang in there!
douglas
A friend really helped me
A friend really helped me with one paper by coming in when I was totally frozen, and offering to be my typist.
I can type faster than them, but, they came in and sat down, and I told them what I wanted to say in the paper. I edited it a little afterwards, and it was super-crap, but I got it done, and I passed (I only needed a crap paper to pass).
That really, really helped.
I found the more I got behind, the less I did. Do something so that they actually get done. Done crap, but done. And possibly set up an 'unschedule' so that there's certain times of day you're NOT ALLOWED to do 'work stuff' in. A little bit of socialising, and sleep. I panicked, and thought I should be working, but bullshit, I hadn't been working, I'd been doing nothing and worrying. I never quite got the hang of it, but at least I slept.
I still need to do this, because I'm continuing the same pattern at work - I stay really late to get my work done, but screw around instead. I should just leave, see friends, etc. I'm working on it.
Oh, and if you are having trouble sleeping deeply, maybe have a hot shower before bed and play the free sleep track downloadable from here - http://www.pzizz.com/download
welcome
You are in the right place. Keep coming back.
welcome x2
Yes, welcome. You are not alone. What you wrote takes a lot of courage and insight. From your post, it's clear you can write... now, you said you had a big task you had to do, but you're not sure you have the skill, etc. What was that task again? Oh, wait, you have to research and write? Oh, you're screwed
You've already climbed a mountain of resistance to come here and write what you wrote, now the only question is whether you are ready to climb another mountain. My encouragement to you is climb...take one step at a time, don't think, just climb. You know how...look at your GPA. Will you get done all you need to get done by the time it needs to be done? Maybe, maybe not. But see how far up the mountain you can get. My guess is that if you only focus on each next step in front of you, you'll get a lot further than it looks right now.
Thank you for joining us!
freer
Thanks
Thanks for the welcome elisaveth :)