Apples of Gold
After failing to complete my list of tasks the other day, I noticed something that stopped me in my tracks. I began listening to the words coming out of my mouth and I realized for the first time (in a long time) how very negative I am about myself when it comes to failing to follow through.
To many procrastinators, (okay, I guess to all of us), the idea of failing to follow through can be the greatest blow to our self esteem because the idea is, that the big "F" word, (failure) is what we become. It wouldn't be such a big problem if it stopped there, although thinking bad thoughts about ourselves is very bad too; but actually hearing our own mouths tell us what schmucks we are because we didn't get all of our lists done is a sin against our own souls.
Words have power. They are the forces that stir within us every conceivable feeling known to mankind. We are free to speak anything out of our mouths, and in the midst of falling short, what do we do??? We slander ourselves. We say horrible things and (I don't know about you), but I will actually look into a mirror and curse myself. I will call myself every vile name, because of the disappointment I feel and the (yes I'll say it), shame I feel. This is a shame I have learned from parents, friends spouses and children. While I cannot defend being less than effective with my time and follow through, I can definitely tell you that speaking harsh words against oneself will NEVER make the problem better. In fact, I believe it will make it even worse.
I know some of you don't believe in God on here, so I don't intend to use this forum as a soapbox, but there is a scripture that comes to mind. It says, "Like apples of gold, in settings of silver is a word spoken at the right time". Hey, principles are principles. I believe that it is not at our best times we need to hear positive reinforcement, but in our worst times. And the most important positive reinforcement we need to hear is from our own mouths! Believe it or not, what YOU think and say about yourself, is more important than what anyone else says.
This is akin to Journey's evil twin Josephine. I laughed when I read that, because we all have our own little evil twin living within us. I am learning, (with a little help from my friends), that I need to nurture Doug with apples of gold because if not, my evil twin will verbally shred me into little bits.
Remember this little poem. It helps me immensely.
The one is cursed, the other blessed,
one is abundant, and the other in need,
and the one that will rule me,
is the one I feed.
Speak gently to yourself this next week and give yourself a break.
Having just awakened!
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It is just for the reasons you mentioned that I like posting my top ten goals: the nature of the language is not shaming, it is positive. When Journey corrects herself from saying she needs to do something to she wants to do something, it helps me to see how much we procrastinators shame ourselves and how much choices versus musts make a difference. I have spent my life chastising myself for not being perfect: when I catch myself doing so, I am learning to restate my comments to myself (and hopefully to my spouse, children, friends) so that I am congratulating myself for any movement forward. In the words of the Little Engine that Could: I think I can, I think I can, I know I can, I know I can....
“There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” - Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes