Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Not repeating my parents' behavior...

Or at least trying not to.

I'm new to the group.  Thank god for this forum!  I have never talked to anyone about this problem before, except lightly with my siblings.  

I come from a family of procrastinators.  My mother was a stay-at-home mother who spent 90% of her time lying on the couch, reading romance novels.   Every few hours  she would say something guiltily about needing to cook or clean or call someone, but then she would return to her book.  Every evening, shortly before my father came home, she would jump up and quickly prepare a meal and tell us to clean the house.  

My father was a workaholic on the job, but when he came home, he spent most of his time in front of the television.  According to my mother, he didn't spend time on maintenance or prevention, and only took care of the house when something broke.  Both of my parents hated leaving the house for any reason, and each time they were expecting guests or had accepted plans, they spent the previous day grumbling about the hated commitment.  Any plans or preparation was done at the very last minute. 

At the same time, my parents demanded perfection of us.  We were often criticized and punished for not having enough A's, laughing too loudly, sitting the wrong way, showing any type of emotion.  On top of that, my parents were extremely critical of everybody, and constantly critiqued the way their relatives and friends dressed, spoke, acted, etc. 

Now my siblings and I all struggle against lethargy, guilt, depression, anxiety and procrastination.   All of us are adults, so we can't blame our parents for our problems today, but I think it does help to look at the source.  Sometimes the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning is telling myself that I am acting like my mother!

I  have no problem with procrastination at work, because I am always high energy and productive when I am around other people.  I feed off of their energy.  When I'm at home, alone, with my two cats, well, I droop.   I don't pay bills until they are late, I haven't done my taxes for several years, I don't keep up on the maintenance of my car...

Anyway, I often find myself feeling like a fake, fearing that someone will find out that I haven't paid my taxes and then assume that I am a "bad" person. It's so nice to read about other people who have some of the same problems. 

I'm hoping to learn a lot here!

thank you

for the welcome, Flexiblefine and Journey. 

Flexiblefine, actually I do see a counselor a few times a year, but I'm thinking of stepping it up.  I haven't discussed my procrastination with him.  I guess it's time. 


Drooping at home

You feed off the energy of the people at work, but you droop at home -- there's nothing wrong with that by itself.  You may want to think about it and see if you're drooping because you're out of energy after your days at work, or because you need to recharge after being surrounded by people all day.  You may just be enough of a natural introvert to need the downtime after your busy days. (I have friends like this, and I may be a little like it myself.)

Between the examples you had and the perfectionism they tried to drill into you, you've got great ingredients for procrastination.  Have you considered counseling?  I'm not suggesting that we all need our heads shrunk, but that a counselor can help you deal with things at a level of detail we can't manage online.

Changing habits is hard.  You haven't gotten into this situation overnight, so you shouldn't expect to get out of it overnight.  One day at a time, one small step at a time, you can change the way you do things and think about things.  Find something small and start -- put a regular oil change on your calendar, for example, or pay one bill... and then start again. 

Keep starting, and you'll see that you're making progress -- and that starting eventually becomes easier.  You'll eventually get to finish... but let's not get ahead of ourselves just yet.  :)


parents and tax returns

It's interesting how you describe your parents. I can imagine that you learned a lot of behaviors from them. It sounds like such a sad way to live when you summarize it that way, and yet I think we've all been there.

Tell me about tax returns. Ugh. I'm years behind. I don't procrastinate on the job, either. My procrastination is all about bills, insurance, accounting, and taxes - the things I hate most to do. My home is clean and uncluttered, and I'm very productive on the job. But the mail pile... Ugh!!

Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.

procrastinating at home

I read one of your other posts about procrastination tied to loneliness.  I guess that would explain why I'm productive at work but not at home.  That makes a lot of sense.  come to think of it, when I was the only one in the office the day before Thanksgiving, I spent most of my time watching the news on the computer.   :)  not very productive. 

welcome rabblerouser

You'll feel right at home with us!


Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time; for that's the stuff life is made of.  - Benjamin Franklin