SHARE MY DISCOVERY
oops placed my comment in the wrong area... so sorry
Ok folks, I've found something that has shifted my procrastinating mind to a more productive place... and it concerns "feelings". I can't speak for every procrastinator here, but for me, procrastination is all about not "feeling" like doing something. For example. I tell myself "ok, it's Spring and it's time to start on the garden... we need to weed the raised boxes, add some good soil, get some fertilizer, a few packages of seeds, some starter plants, etc. Last year, there was no garden. Why? Because even though some part of me wanted to another part didn't feel like doing the necessary prep work, so guess what? Because I didn't feel like doing it - it never happened. End of story. Sad story, but wait....
Here is what I discovered -- as long as I based my actions, (i.e. what I do and don't do) on how I "feel", I just might end up spending the rest of my life procrastinating over things I don't "feel" like doing unless I can (a) talk my psyche into feeling different (b) change my thought process, especially the subconscious (c) reverse that little something in me that is, not only trying to destroy me, but controlling my life. I say... FAT CHANCE on fulfilling those dreams! I've been trying to do this (analyze it to death and/or figure it out) for waaaay too many years. The bottom line is, unless I can talk this "something" into changing it's mind about how it "feels" regarding a particular task, I will continue to do the same thing, probably for the rest of my life. How depressing.... So at this point my choices are, either procrastinate or strong-arm my psyche into accomplishing. The truth is both of these choices suck and are not a desirable way to live ones life. However....
I have since stumbled across a Japanese theory that supports honoring our feelings AND (not or) AND doing what needs to be done. In other words,
A) feel what you feel (I don't wanna... I hate this... no way... etc.)
B) honor your feelings (accept and express compassion for this part of you,
recognize the part that doesn't feel like doing it) <<--VERY important
C) take your feelings with you and go do what needs to be done.
Does it sound easy? Or impossible? When it comes right down to it, who says we have to "feel" like doing a task? Did you know that most successful and productive people accomplish the task at hand because it needs to be done, not because they "feel" like doing it? Seriously, productive people laugh when you ask them if they absolutely "love" or "feel" like doing what they do. The truth is, they do not. Somehow productive people have skipped a dysfunctional mindset early in life -- the mindset that judges whether a task is worth doing based on their "feelings" about it. They just "do it"! Ask them why and they say "because it needs to be done". That mindset has become a habit for them. While they may be aware of their feelings about a task, feelings per se are not an issue in their decision process. And speaking of habits -- doing anything (positive or negative) for 21-30 days will create one. I have proven this to myself.
So here is what I discovered --
A wonderful website. It's not necessary to join, but if you do, the articles are some of the most inspirational and motivating I have ever read. They have helped me tremendously.
The ToDo Institute - http://www.todoinstitute.org/
Constructive Living by Reynolds
A Handbook for Constructive Living by Reynolds
anything on Morita or Naikan therapy.
In response to Jasonx:
Regarding your discomfort about 12 step recovery... if you have a friend that is in 12 step recovery (you state: "...I know someone that is in one...") and is touting it as "Christian", both you and your friend are misinformed. I owe my life to 12 step recovery from drugs and alcohol. I've
been abstinent from both substances for 27 years and I am not a Christian. You need to know that twelve step recovery is not about Christianity or any religion. Twelve step recovery (regardless of which addiction) is non-denominational. At least it's supposed to be. Make no mistake, there are those who bring in their own agenda, Christian or otherwise, but that is not what 12 step recovery is about. Step 2 (of the 12) suggests that you consider believing in a power greater than yourself. Some believe it to be God, or a Divine Source, or the Universe, or anything you deem greater than yourself. In fact athiests have used their higher consciousness or the group itself as their higher power. So if you choose to remain uncomfortable about 12 step recovery, just know that it's not "a christian thing", as you have expressed in your last comment.