Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
I am so _______
Fill in the blank. Its a seven letter word. Rhymes with rude, which I'd be if I actually used the word.
I have two essays due tomorrow. I haven't started either of them. I've decided I'll start it RIGHT after I eat dinner (same ole procrastinator mentallity).
Hopefully it will snow/sleet bad enough that my school will close.
I have to start applying to colleges. I've hardly filled out a college application. I don't feel like doing it.
I've seriously been having issues lately. Like I am really starting to question my will power, my ability to make choices, my free will. I've been thinking that the ability to make choices is quite paradoxical because every cause has an effect. So all choices I make will inevitably be the reaction to some kind of cause, negating the idea of "free will". So the idea of free will is stupid and we're all robots. Thats the kind of things I've been thinking lately.
Can someone explain to me how free will does exist? Any theories?
Also, my mind has been filled with so many doubts, so many questions, so much confusion, that I've wanted to simplify it by just ending it all. If I don't get into college, I'm definitely ending it all. I just have no motivation...and those ideas that "free will" doesn't exist isn't helping either. And yes, my username is based on the Modest Mouse song of which I was obsessively listening to. Gotta keep floating on.
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hi floating
good advice from everyone, imho.
When i was in h.s. and college and now at work i did, and pretty much still, save work til the last minute. Actually sometimes later :(
I wish someone told me about "break it down" and "microbursting" in h.s. I could have really used those techniques. I wish someone had said, "dont think about it as 'do your application for college,' but rather, 'read thru the application--that's enuf for now,' and then 'fill out the easy stuff,' and then 'consider several essay topics' rather than 'write your essay'"! Breaking it down into small, manageable, not-overwhelming, not-scary steps would have really helped me. letting go, at least for the moment, of the obligation to finish the whole thing, and rather focusing on some small part i *could* do, would have really helped me. Here's hoping it (or some of the other advice) helps you.
BTW, if you 'off' yourself then we can't get into a deep philosophical discussion about free will.
Eg, the other day i did this: i held a pen in my hand, and tried to observe whether i had the free will to drop it or not drop it. I had thot that i was going to be aware of my choice when i did this. but, i was surprised. I was not. What i found was that each choice, dropping or holding, felt predetermined.
But i do not get the same sense with complex interpersonal, moral, or spiritual things. I feel all kinds of senses of choice there.
So, maybe, when we're obsessing over some video game, we are acting like a robot, and maybe in a sense, for that time we become a robot.
But when we, as you did, reach out to other people for help, for fellowship, and when we respond to each other in love and caring, maybe then, we are acting like something more than biological robots, and maybe we become more, at least for that time.
Welcome Floatingon!
You've come to the right place. E and J.Doe and Pro gave you some great advice and there's no need for me to reiterate it, but I will say Keep Coming Back.
Read the articles and post in the daily checkin forum, it really does help. And, as e said, try to work on your apps for just 15 minutes. Or just 5 minutes.
Maybe you are not sure in your heart that you really want to go to college. You can fill out the app anyway.
Glad to have you in the group. Take care.
Jo
"Hard work must have killed someone." - Charles Gregory
I'm a freshman in college
Last year I was going through something similar to what you're experiencing now—anxious about my current schoolwork, putting off thinking about college, feeling guilty and stressed and scared and unsure.
And yet I got through it. I applied to college, I got in, and I'm here now. And I love it! Try to focus on finding a range of schools in terms of selectivity, with some reaches and some safeties—going to a safety school still gives you the possibilty to transfer in a year or two if you want to—and resist the pressure to judge your merit as a person by college admissions.
If you're like me, the part you're dreading most about the application is the personal essay. Keep in mind that it's pretty short; the essay only has to be 250 words long, the same length as the post you just made! Find someone to brainstorm topics with, and do some freewriting—I can tell from your post you like to theorize and ponder about deep things, and that's great, because powers of insight are exactly what make an essay shine.
I hope your essays tonight went/are going/go well. Let me know if you want to talk about the apps. They're not as terrible as they seem, I promise!
Wishing you the best.
college applications
oh, floatingon, you bring me back 31 years to my own senior year in high school. I was very much in the same frozen mode: I did not want to do the applications and ended up sending one in after only a half a day's effort, the day before the application was due.
Looking back, I really believe that there was too much emphasis in my family on getting into college. I was in such a rush to get there that I did not really prepare myself for the experience of going. There are a zillion ways to go through life, and college is just one of many ways to do it. I am not saying that it is not a good idea, but you may want to consider applying with the intention of deferring your admission for a year. My son is in the process of his gap year now, and I think he will be much better off for it. He is learning how to deal with other, more basic lifeskills in the meantime, that are the foundation for everything that comes after school.
For me, I have learned that the fear of failure has so much to do with my procrastination that I get stuck. This still happens, I am now 49 and I have done some wonderful things and gotten stuck in the same frozen pattern again and again. I have quit college and gone off to do work, found that I could be successful without a degree, and then went back to school as an adult to finish first a certificate program, then an associates degree, then a BA and teaching certification and now I am stuck in my masters. Along the way I have worked, traveled around the world, taught overseas, had children, taken care of dying parents, married, come near divorce a few times, and grown. It would truly have sucked to have missed out on all of that because I was so freaked out trying to decide what to do with my life at 17. There is a lot of pain in failure. There is also a lot of reward in learning to chip away at things you fear.
If you can, I would recommend you come work on your applications for 15 minutes tomorrow in the chatroom. It is an excellent space to clear your head an make tiny steps in the right direction. Read about microbursts. If you did nothing but 15 minutes a day until January 2nd, when applications are due, you would have put in over 4 hours of work. Not much, perhaps, but truly a lot in terms of giving yourself the opportunity to resolve issues in your sleep before heading on to the next step.
I hope that you keep coming back in here. I can't say enough about how much people have changed their lives by coming here and supporting each other through successes and failures. I am envious that you found this place at such a time in your life: you have nothing but opportunity ahead of you. It may not be what you have envisioned for yourself, but it will be your own journey. Enjoy it.
hugs, e
"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." - William Penn
free will and addiction
Free will is what you lose when you are in the grip of a compulsive behavior or addiction. The very definition of addiction is loss of the ability to choose. That's why you feel this way.
But you can get it back! 12-step programs really do work, and this site is very helpful. I'm a low-bottom procrastinators and I've made great strides here. You can, too.
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Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.
Discussion of the existence of "free will"
floatingon, welcome to Procrastinators Anonymous (PA)! I hope that you have already started your two essays by the time that you read this comment since, unless the essays are quite short and you are very good at writing them quickly, you will likely not finish them both by tomorrow. Also, I have personally found that hoping for a snow day to delay your deadline is generally not a very successful strategy for getting things accomplished :-) !
As for questioning the existence of free will, I have also done that. For me, the context was that if it did not exist, why bother fighting against my addiction to video game playing since the end result was predetermined anyway. I discussed this concept with other people in the thread "Predetermination" at http://www.olganon.org/?q=node/3523 , with the discussion helping me at least.
As for "ending it all" if you don't get into college, I hope that you don't do that! I am still fairly new to this site so I don't know if there are any threads or resources to address that issue but one thread on that same video game addiction site that might help you is "&: Are YOU considering suicide?" at http://www.olganon.org/?q=node/5160 . I have considered suicide myself many times, and even made a serious attempt at it once, but it is really not a good idea. Although it might stop your pain, it will be hard on your family and friends afterwards. Please talk to somebody before you do something that you may not get a chance to regret later!
- John O.
Carpe Diem! (Seize the Day!)
Hi J.DOe
Are you the same J.DOe from Daily Strength? I saw some very insightful posts from you on that site.
Jo
"Hard work must have killed someone." - Charles Gregory
My username on DailyStrength is actually JoDOe
journey, I believe that I am the person that you are referring to. My username there is JoDOe since J. DOe was not available for some reason. As I write this, I am a member of the "Video Game Addiction" support group and "procrastinators Unite!" user group on DailyStrength (DS). I assume that it is my posts in the latter one that you are referring to. Regardless, thank you for your compliment. I plan to continue writing insightful posts there and here, likely for quite a while as I continue working on my procrastination problem. Also, I don't know if you have written anything on DS yourself, but I have at least enjoyed reading your posts here and found them to be helpful to me.
- John O.
Carpe Diem! (Seize the Day!)
JoDOe Daily Strength
I'm a member of the Video Game Addiction group too but I haven't been there in a looong time. I think my username is Journey there too.
I found Daily Strength to be a black hole of procrastination for me, so I dropped out. I could spend days on there. But I enjoyed your posts for the short time I was there!
Jo
"Hard work must have killed someone." - Charles Gregory