Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Chemgirl's intro
Hi Everyone,
I am a lifelong chronic procrastinator. It drives everyone around me crazy, and makes me miserable, to varying degrees.
I have had psychotherapy and am on paroxetine for depression, and of course my procrastination fluctuates with my emotional state. At the moment I am OK, but not great.
I have a gorgeous husband and two fantastic kids, 1 and 4 years old. I am a scientist, have worked in my field but at the moment am trying to write up my MSc thesis in chemistry, while being a SAHM to my two girls, so life is pretty busy. Although my procrastination affects every area of my life it is the biggest problem with regards to my thesis, which is way overdue and is a condition of my return to work, which I need to do for financial reasons. This is causing huge tension between my dh and me.
So that's about me, I could of course go into way more detail but should really be doing my thesis!
Thanks everyone for being here and this board, it is so good to feel I am not alone (although a bit soul destroying to admit the degree of my chronic procrastination).
Chemgirl
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Welcome!
Glad you're here, hope this site helps you as much as it helps me!
(And glad to have another scientist--I'm just starting my Ph.D. in biology)
Thanks Kromer
Cool, want to be thesis buddies? I guess that your PHD is at a very different stage than mine though, mine is nearly finished (although it has been nearly finished for a couple of years now!) But would be happy to try to provide some motivation/accountability if you would like?
I have done all the research, written papers, presented at conferences and just (ha ha, just) have to finish writing up. It has turned into this huge horrible monster in my mind though and is just driving me crazy, can't even open up the latex file without practically having a panic attack. I am hoping that this forum will help provide a) motivation b) support and c) accountability (not that I ask much, mind you!)
I have posted on the daily check in thread, but haven't actually done anything on my list yet :(
Anyway, thanks very much for the welcome :)
Chemgirl
Welcome chemgirl
Welcome chemgirl. I think it's a really positive step to find the honesty to participate here and realize how much you are not alone.
Folders of unfinished projects almost too scary to open are also something I struggle with. I have been using relaxation techniques, a book called the Now Habit, and the support and accountability I find here to help me, one very small step at a time, I have a long way to go.
Thanks Chickadee
I had a real meltdown today, having not done anything on any of my to-do lists (apart from of course care for my children) for 2 days, and no thesis for about a week. Long story short, I have 'caught up' on the house stuff, but still not done anything on the thesis, and things between me and dh are pretty bad at the moment. I think I need to try harder at this.
hang in there chemgirl
Well, I think that getting your house okay and looking after your kids are a big thing to have stayed caught up with and you should give yourself points for that, even if there are other things waiting. :)
I have been slowly slowly learning that my own mental model about fixing procrastination (you are bad, do not have enough will power, need to work harder) hasn't helped, whereas some things here (esp. asking HP's help) and in the now habit book, and relaxation techniques are counterintuitive but have helped. (replace oughts and shoulds with want to and choose to, talk gently to myself, give myself credit for every effort instead of beating myself for things that are incomplete).
I think a lot of my procrastination has to do with a divided will; in tiny steps and just for moments I get past that by this approach here, the steps, reading others posts in the other (noon-check in) forums.
Thanks all buddies here for support and inspiration.
Agreeing with Chickadee
I also think that the negative mindset is very unproductive. I get into that a lot, I have unrealistically high expectations of myself which means I almost always feel bad about myself :( I find it much better to try and be a cheerleader for myself - anyone on here do flylady? I find it very helpful... if I actually do it!
OK, have to get offline now or will just use this forum to procrast.
Cheers,
Chemgirl
divided will
if you're willing, i'd like to hear more about your divided will. that is interesting to me. I have something similar, i think.
But only do so on a "designated break". If you're like me, you would jump at the chance to engage in this kind of discussion, but i think we're learning to recognize that as procrastination. dont stray from your MIT/MUT for this answer.
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http://www.procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1114#comment-23050
divided will reply to cl
I began to see this after reading the Now Habit. It made a lot of sense--part of the will wants to do the task, get things done on time; another part digs in its heels, says it's too hard, I can't, I don't want to, or all sorts of subconscious messages of resistance.
A battle of the will is very hard to heal: I think it just escalates: more pushing and ought and self-punishing, more resistance in return. And then the inner battle uses up lots of energy.
I begin to see the point of HP, and trying to get away from ego ('help me do the next right thing'), and to feel that that way of facing myself, the world, and facing tasks really offers more than just a glimmer of hope; so far it has brought me even the experience of moments of change, moments when the things I have to do are the things I want to do and the tasks become light...Just moments of that for now for me, but I am looking forward to more of them.
WOW!!!!
Thank you.
Something to keep and refer to.
"Recovery from procrastination means doing what you say you're going to do, when you say you're going to do it."