Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Wednesday 8 February 2012

Welcome to Wednesday


Looking back with gratitude and forward with hope


Thanks clement and tracy-la

Didn't post 2/9. Was feeling too down. Had a hard time getting any work done. Coming out of it I think. Thanks for the supportive words.

PE 5ish

Hi everyone!

I keep telling myself that I will least start my reports and I haven't.  They are now late, and that is an awful thing to do to myself as my work has been going great.  I get physically sick when I think about doing them. I wake up sick and worrying about them in the middle of the night.  I lay awake worrying about them for hours- why on earth don't I just DO them.  They do not deserve this much of my life and energy.  I surely won't get paid for the amount of time I put into worrying about them.  Ugggh.  OK, so I made a commitment to do something at 7 that I can't break.  I can start these and hopefully do some more when I get home.

I wish there were a delivery from procrastination service, that I could call and they would show up on my door step ready to deliver me from my self imposed agony.  Well...Dominos delivery will have to suffice, I like that at times like this, too.  OK here I go to the chat room.

ah the insanity ;)

thank you for that. You describe the insanity that you and i both go thru so very well. Such a great take on it all. So accurate for me too.

I am very sorry for how bad it makes you feel. I know that feeling and i wouldnt wish it on anyone. Here's hoping we can both recover out of this mess!

the touch of the master's hand:

fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb


Clement- thanks for understanding


I just looked at my unfinished stuff to figure out what I should be doing and saw this from a few days ago- thank you!


Not so good this morning... having problems with big projects. Getting the little things done is not so hard, but I want to do better with projects. I have found that taking a shower seems to be my key to getting started. When my bf and I broke up, all I could do was take showers. I used to take them three times a day. For some reason, that stuck with me. So, now, as long as I take a shower then I am ready to start doing stuff. Now I just need to apply taking a shower to much earlier in my day. :)


To Do List:

  1. Take a shower/get dressed
  2. Make bed
  3. Project for G--1 hour
  4. Fluff clothes in dryer
  5. Fold clothes in dryer
  6. Move clothes in wash to dryer
  7. Start new load
  8. Project for G--1 hour
  9. Fold clothes in dryer
  10. Move clothes in wash to dryer
  11. Start new load
  12. Make dinner for hubby
  13. Clean up "nest"
  14. Feed birdies
  15. Go to gym with hubby
  16. Take a shower
  17. Project for G--1 hour
  18. No TV/computer after 10:00

  19. Be in bed by 10:30
  20. Lights out by 11:00

Ag showing up

Disastrous morning, now hurting myself by procrastinating lunch and it's after 4:30...gotta stop and eat.  Then I need to keep sorting emails, listen to voicemails, figure out how NOT to have a repeat disaster tomorrow, attend a meeting commitments tonight, write 2 reports, get dinner, and try to get to sleep sometime tonight.

Gosh I hate this feeling of being so slammed and such an f-up. 

Feelings are not facts. Feelings are not facts....

"My boundaries enclose a pleasant land." Psalm 16

re:Looking back with gratitude and forward with hope

love that 

Be confident.  Stay focused.   One thing at a time.

yeah, love that

the touch of the master's hand:

fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb


wrkinprogrss: 02/08/12

Hi and good wishes to all!

Again, today, I choose accomplishment in reality over escape, particularly in these ways:

  • I choose to be free of the compulsive trance of doing online puzzles--I know that doing even one is one too many, because one almost never feels like enough.
  • I choose to do my non-fiction listening only during chores or exercise or travel and before 22:30. 
  • I choose to do my fiction listening only between 18:00 and 22:30 and during chores or exercise or travel. 
  • I choose to read fiction by eye only between 20:30 and 22:30. 
  • I choose to experience silence after 22:30. I encourage myself to be in bed by 23:30, even if the lights aren't out. I want to have time to contemplate my priorities, first thing. I want the option of doing early-morning shopping for glasses frames. And I want to feel confident and organized as I start my day!

(I did well with all of these except going to bed on time--I went to bed very late, again.)

My list for today:

Done (or Done Enough) on Wednesday, 02/08/12:
brush teeth, splint
first pass through job email
shower, etc.
take early pills
submit timecard
get Rx from pharmacy
re-check glasses frames at plaza (decided no on those)
13:00 meeting
email check-in buddy
14:00 meeting (not the one I thought I was going to have, but a different and useful one)
eat oatmeal with fruit and nuts
design apa cover
call H office re class sign-up
19:15 th grp (very good work with B)
unload dishwasher
10 min clearing out (kitchen sink progress)
15 minutes of Qi Gong
take bedtime Rx

Made Progress on Wednesday, 02/08/12:
think about art and story and photo possibilities
P.A. ck-in and bookending incl clear-out report
analyze & send what's new info to D

Not Done on Wednesday, 02/08/12:
send rvw request to SMEs
wrap up J2EE terminology change
order new phone holster

do at least 4 15-minute bursts of work on project A leftovers
decide when need next load of laundry done (warm load?)

do a few minutes of lib book scanning
put my "inner monkey" to bed by 23:30

Steppin checkin

Home from vacation, such a lovely trip. Feel refreshed and ready to go for the real thing. The next few days will be a living hell, because I have so much catching up to do, but I will just have to take it with a smile. Tonight I'll do organ practice and maybe some cleaning. Will check in if stuck.

1) Get wrench 2) Study

1) Get wrench

2) Study coding 

3) Who cares


"A procrastinator's work is never done."

clement ci

first resistance: 11:37am.

before this, i've just been on autopilot. is this what it's like for "normal" people most of the time?

Anyway, going to chat to work thru next right actions.

3pm: i am NOT behind schedule.

this is a VERY unfamilliar state for me. And i find i do not know how to get tasks done in this mode!!!

i think i need to pray, cuz it occurs to me "I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me." So that must include this too. Also

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

"God is faithful!" I trust that with all my heart.


phil 4:6-7
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

These are the verses, the truths, that God is laying on my heart right now. I know he wants me to succeed in this. I know he wants me to turn to him for strength, guidance, & wisdom. So i'm going to pray right now.

the touch of the master's hand:

fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb



And he want you to share his work in you. Thank you. V

Feeling down

Tired today. Feeling down due to fatigue, financial worries, minor temporary health annoyances, and ongoing divorce-related frustrations. Also because I have been asked again to track my work time in 15 minute increments. I did that already for a couple of months at the beginning of 2011, and no one even bothered to look at it. Back in the same situation, being scrutinized in an attempt to "understand" why I am so darn slow with my turn around time. Since I am tired and down to begin with, it just feels demeaning, even though I realize that time tracking before turned out to be helpful to me, even if no one bothered to follow up with me on it. It didn't make me any faster, but at least it helped to curb my tendencies to drift away from the task at hand due to procrastination and anxiety. Ah, well.  

Goal 1: Track my work every 15 minutes

Goal 2: Work on overdue projects for 2 hours. Leaving this for the end of the day results in it not getting done, and I think these projects played a part in my boss's request to track my time. 

Goal 3: Work 3 hours on current cases so I don't fall too far behind.

Goal 4: Leave by 7 PM. 

Goal 5: Exercise, if possible. Have managed to do this Sunday and yesterday. Would really like to stay with it for once.

Goal 6: To bed by 10:30 to 11 PM. Last night went to bed at 11:30 PM, which was an improvement, but actually could have gone to bed at 11 PM, just resisted it, dawdling on the computer, looking at movie trailers for action flicks. Hmmm...that John Carter movie looks interesting...but I digress.

Back to report.

Tracy-la had a term for it...

Goals for today were:

Goal 1: Track my work every 15 minutes

Goal 2: Work on overdue projects for 2 hours. 

Goal 3: Work 3 hours on current cases so I don't fall too far behind.

Goal 4: Leave by 7 PM. 

Okay. Did none of the above. Instead, felt
depressed, stressed, and slightly angry all day, unable to concentrate,
wishing I could just quit this job and walk away to...what? I think I
can't do this tracking every 15 minutes thing
, least
of all when it's imposed on me. I feel under pressure to complete
*something* every 15 minutes, but I already know that it takes me 30
minutes most of the time to look at a normal case. I even went and ate 
some things I knew I should not, and felt no comfort or relief, just
unpleasant fullness. Now that the place is empty I am feeling a little
calmer. Alright. I will go back to my 30 minute block approach, which I
am still trying to master so I can segue from one 30 minute block into
the next without losing my momentum. I will try to populate the 15 minute grid with 30
minute data

[,....Agghh...this never
ends. As I sit here typing, an email comes in from a client checking on
the status of something he asked me to do Monday. Of course, I haven't
gotten to it yet. Immediately the little metal stressballs start pinging
around in my brain, lights flashing behind my eyes as I lapse into
decision making and action taking paralysis ...again. To get the task
done would have required a sequence of small, up to 30 minute, actions
over a couple of days. Thus, if I had gotten started Monday, I would be
done or just about there; at least enough to give a meaningful status
update rather than hemming and hawing and squirming uncomfortably,
imagining the client's disappointment in me. Instead, I am 2 days
behind, and will get another 2 days behind before it's done. I believe this is a
failure of what tracy-la referred to as "executive function", no? (see
tracy-la 1/5/12) ]

Alright, this may be an important clue as to one of the reasons I fail, miserably if not spectacularly. My planning and execution are completely inadequate for the tasks I have to do. As a result, I drift from task to task rather than map out my path through the day. Even my goal lists are too vague, as I trust things to kind of slowly come together. Finally, my memory is not up to the task of keeping all of these things straight. I need to develop a better control system than the Post-It notes strewn over my desk, peeking out from under the phone, PC, etc.; 23 by quick count, of varying ages and utility. In truth, I don't see one for the task that just brought me up short. Okay, time to work on this tomorrow. I'll do what I can tonight andpress on. One small bright spot: because I am so disorganized, I failed to send this client's 2010 case back to central storage in Miami, and I have "saved" the day it would have taken to have it sent to this office! Ah, Providence *does* protect idiots!   


re: 4change

echo what tracy-la said. You described that email checking up on the tasks perfectly for what i go thru. That exact feeling of letting them down and knowing it was my procrastination. O how i hate that feeling!

I will say one thing, however. For both you and me--the fact that we hate that feeling means that we really CARE, we are high quality people who care about doing a good job--not just cuz we're tying to garner success for ourselves, just because we feel it's our duty to do our best work for our clients. So give yourself that (altho i probalby dont give MYSELF enuf credit here--easier to give others credit than myself :P)

It's interesting. lateley i cannot keep as many things juggling in my mind as i used to (i'm 46). I have had to write everything down. We have a system for that at work, and i use it heavily. I am always re-reading what i wrote to catch myself up on each task. I can report that this is effective for me. Sounds like you're on that same track.

About the 15 minute log, i have had that happen when i was younger and less knew what i was dealing with with myself. I also found it demeaning, and emotionally as you said even counterproductive. Now, i realize that my Boss does not understand what i am and my problem. And this 15 min thing is a means to an end for him. He doesnt care about the log itself, he just wants to make me more productive. He would not have chosen that approach had he known the counterproductive emotional response it would cause in me, but how could he know? We are a rare breed, we compulsive procrastinators. Our problem is not well known, and our "fix" even less so. If my boss knew the reality, he would be overjoyed that i was using PA because he would then know that it is likely to help me be more productive, which is his "end." So i have come to hear "make a 15 minute log" and know that he means "be more productive" which i can thus translate into "be more faithful in using the PA tools & fellowship support." I find chat here excellent for keeping myself on track. I am also so encouraged by seeing other people struggle along side me. With their ups an downs, and their trying again.

the touch of the master's hand:

fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb



Stick to it . . . you're not giving up and it is hard. The executive function part of my brain is challenged and tricky but keep experimenting with what works. We should exchange numbers some time for support. Client won't care about the disappointment, just as long as you tell them you got swamped with other things, didn't forget about them and will be working on it and keep in touch . . . they'll be okay even if a little frustrated. They believe good people are really super busy :) and we are! tracy-la

Innertruth 9:50 am check in

Earlier start today than usual.

To do

10 - 10:15- Send email to Pat, call Lori, check 3 emails

10:15 - 1 - Proposal for Lori (take 15 minute break around 11:30 if needed)

1 - 1:30 - lunch

1:30 - 3 - Call Barb, apply to CL positions

3 - 5 - Prospecting

5 - 6 - Run

6 - 7 - Dinner

7 - 9 - Volunteer newsletter

9 - 10 - Update LI profile

10 - 11 Wash dishes, hand laundry, get ready for Thursday 




Journey 9:30

Working from home today.   Finishing up my todo list and then I can have homemade skinny mocha latte.   Here's the list:

  • Exercise
  • Plan 
  • Catch up email
  • Put emergency shoes back in work bag
  • T meeting
  • Project O - check mon
  • Project O - work on trans
  • Project O - work on com
  • Project O - log mon if time
  • Project M -  more IG reading
  • Project M -  more EG reading
  • Project M - work on project plan - a little bit
  • If time, work on speech - worked on it a little bit
  • Water plants
  • Feed Birds
  • Vitamins
  • Prepare clothes and food for tomorrow
  • Quiet time
  • Work on budget
  • dinner
  • dishes
  • laundry
  • if time (and money!), order stockings and housewarming gift
  • goals review

Be confident.  Stay focused.   One thing at a time.

tracy-la check in 2-8

Am up earlier than usual. But relaxed with coffee and the paper for an hour. Now time to get going as I have a trip out of town today and need to be at the airport by 9 am and will go to office first.

Reading for day is about guilt. When I think of how much guilt I have for not finishing tasks, it's a bit overwhelming. It's time to work on letting go of the guilt. It's not getting me anywhere. 

 I got up at 4 am but spent 2 hours reading newspapers, drinking coffee, doing personal and kids' calendars, checking facebook, and somehow dawdling two hours. This is a long standing pattern and I just have to get and go. My morning reminded me of the saying: "you have a Ferrari brain but bicycle brakes." That's me. Start on the New York Times and I get so involved. Now if I'd just gotten to office, I could've gotten just as involved in work. Just a reminder to myself to try something different next time.


Letting Go of Guilt 

Feeling good about ourselves is a choice. So is feeling guilty. When guilt is legitimate, it acts as a warning light, signaling that we're off course. Then its purpose is finished.

Wallowing in guilt allows others to control us. It makes us feel not good enough. It prevents us from setting boundaries and taking other healthy action to care for ourselves.

We may have learned to habitually feel guilty as an instinctive reaction to life. Now we know that we don't have to feel guilty. Even if we've done something that violates a value, extended guilt does not solve the problem; it prolongs the problem. So make an amend. Change a behavior. Then let guilt go.

Today, God, help me to become entirely ready to let go of guilt. Please take it from me, and replace it with self-love.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie 



Thanks, Tracy!

Thanks for this quote, Tracy.

Note to self: think re! (Maybe journal?)

My Day Today

I esnt to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, the telephone aand online meetings, and my life.

I want to thank Rexroth for starting this trend.

Things I will do today

1. Yrdy nloof duhst yjtrr yo,rs

2. Eat breakfast

3. Go to take care of business

6. Rsy lunvh

7. Rsy finnrt

8. Go to the 3 p.m. telephone CLA meeting

9. Take shower

10. Get dressed

11. Eat dinner

12. C;ear iup my apartment

14. Go to work at 5:30 p.m.

Thanks for letting me share

Recycler CI Feb 8 8am EST


6:45am up, take puppy for a walk, feed puppy, eat breakfast, look at catalog, order spring coat, check email & internet. Took caffeine pill, even though I don't like to. I have to In Reality this morning Clean Up in the condo by moving my tush around, not just sitting on the sofa thinking about it. Would it help to use a broom and squench everything on the floor into one big pile?

Will turn on music, and see if I can Move It Around a bit.

9:30am. Victory #1. Every week I do wash & dry clothes, so I have clean clothes to wear. But since late Dec, I have been making a [large] stack of clean clothes on top of the dryer. I put some things away each week, or pull from the clean pile, but today is the first day that I have folded and put away Everything in the stack in weeks, if not months!!!! I'm washing and drying another load of clothes, so we will see what happens to it, lol! ;)

9:30 con't. Dried clean dishes out of dishwasher. Now washing dishes leftover from Superbowl weekend ;) Bagged up stray paper plates etc from counter. Took puppy for another walk. Called & registered for two continuing education classes. One of them begins tomorrow, so fortunately I was still able to get in!!!!!!!! Eeeeee!!!! ;)

Next goal: check email & internet. then clean off dining table; preparing to wash tablecloth in one of next loads of clothes. OK, let's see how far I get ;) The music & caffeine tablet seem to be helping ;)

10:15am. Victory #2. Dining table is cleaned off: First time since late Dec! Yay! Tablecloth hasn't been washed since late Dec either, so it is in the clothes washer with hopefully-bleaching detergent on Hot Water ;) Dining table is also my photography table and I've been photographing around the spots the last few weeks lol! ;)

11:45am. Piled cleaned, dried clothes on top of dryer again, lol; but moved new load from washer to dryer :) Took puppy for LONG walk. Ordered pet meds & supplies for puppy (took longer than I would have thought! ;) Next: eat lunch before Barbie time!!! ;)

5:15pm. getting ready to go to class tonight. Wiped crock pot and put to soak, so I can cook in it tomorrow ;) Renewed Barbie membership, but saw only 1 new doll; was hoping for more? Well, Toy Fair will be in the next 10 days. Don't want to leave puppy at home, but have to. She doesn't like it either, but I will take her for a walk when I get back. Better go to class now!

9:45pm. Back in from school. Took puppy for a walk. Checked email & internet. Scrubbed crockpot, then started it in dishwasher. Usually I don't run the dishwasher this late, but I want to use the crockpot in the morning. In the morning, even though I don't usually take caffeine pills 2 days in a row, I think I will. The condo really needs to be ready for company on Saturday, and I don't want to stress out about it on Friday. Thursday, even just sweeping the floor will make a difference, so I will try that first. I may be able to call it a day after that? Will surf the internet a little bit more, then go to sleep.

P.S. I think it is Barbie Collector Club renewal day (probably around 12 noon EST), so I will bribe myself with that thought ;) 10:20am. OK, I've done 2 hours of work, which was my qualifying goal, so a new Barbie membership is earned! Now, if I get some other stuff done, that is ok, but I don't have to Push It the rest of today; just drift around ;)

Have a great day!!! :)


Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)

Rexroth Check In 08.51

Todo Today

x Up prayer and reflection
x Tidy up in kitchen
x Check emails, post and snail mail when/if it comes
x Bath and wash hair
Study French
x Get ready for hospital appointment
x Out to appointment
x Shopping on way back
Make notes and plan following advice at hospital
Some admin work
Prayer and reflection
Bed and sleep

Regards Rexroth

Rexroth Check Out

Hospital was a shook. I might need to have another operation. It is not serious but it is a nuisance and I am glad I had not booked to travel. I was waiting until I had seen the surgeon before doing so and I was not sure if I was just putting things off.

Have spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself

Now it it late and I need to finish writing my journal followed by prayer and reflection, bed and sleep.

Night Rexroth


Sorry to hear you have to have an operation, although fortunately not serious. Hope you can do more travelling later on.

Take care!