Thursday, 26 Jan, 2:11 am.

Yesterday was not very good, but I am confident that today will be better. I did accomplish somethings, as compared to nothing. But I had nothing done for my hubby when he came home from work, and I felt bad. :(

To Do List:

• Shower and dress
• Make bed
• Fold clothes in dryer
• Put new clothes in wash
• Put bag in outside closet
• Read and comment on Ms writing
• Work for 3 hours on editing project in bursts
• Make dinner for hubby
• Clean up dinner
• More laundry
• Pack hubby's lunch
• Work out with hubby
• Go tanning

showing up, not much to say. J had another health crisis last night and i am beyond tired and fearful. this morning I was extremely unpleasant to a utilities worker who was in the unfortunate position of defending their stupid policy - the one that requires her to decline my request for a water credit of the $350 an undergroup leak cost us.  Her reason? I should have noticed that our monthly water bills were doubling, then quadrupling, and finally 10x normal.  Of course I didn't notice that, because of this d*$%* disease!  I thought I had neatly sidestepped my bill-o-phobia by setting up a fixed BillPay payment so I could avoid having to pay attention to the bills.  I was madder than hel* and let her know it. She thanked me for my sarcasm and wished me a blessed day, which made me feel like crap.  I can only hope she didn't recognize my name as the former well-known local church lady I once was. My behavior was certainly not a good example of the faith I profess. And you know what? I'm STILL mad as heck, not very ready to repent and certainly not ready to make amends.  I paid the damned bill to keep the water on while I go on an out-of-town trip and hope J is still alive when I get back tomorrow.  Now I just have to figure out what to do about the 3 other deadline projects that are due today, when I have to leave on a trip in 30 minutes and have not even packed. 

Didn't do anything after work yesterday as I was totally exhausted and ladi on my couch watching TV. Standing on my feet all day wears me out.

Report into PA several times throughout day 

To dos for today:

1. Check 3 emails and respond to important ones only - 10:30 - 11
2. email blast for Pat, call city - 11:30 - 12
3. email prospecting for new clients 12 to 1:30
4. call Barb 1:30 - 2
5. lunch - 2 - 2:30
6. bank, drugstore, get cell phone fixed, produce store - 2:30 - 3:30
7. more email prospecting - 3:30 - 5:30
8. stretch and run - 5:30 - 6:30 pm
9. newsletter - 6:30 - 9
10. TV - 9 to 10
11. produce codes - 10 - 11
12. wash sweaters and dishes - 11 -12

I want to thank God and all of you and the magic of this fellowship. For the 2nd year in a row, my year performance review did NOT have something like "has to work more efficiently" or "has to make better choices with time." Such "areas for development" have been on my performance review for like the last 15 years. The only reason why they weren't there before that was because in the Jr positions i could work 2 days straight and make up for a month of procrastinating. But not at this level. Now my procrastination shows thru.

So i have raised myself above the level of "needs improvement" which is a huge thing for me. My boss specifically said he does not see a problem in that area. It's so unfamiliar to hear that! Again, i could not have done it by myself. I needed all this help i get from the outside. But i also still have a ways to go. I'm probably still below average productivity at work. But i do have hope that, God willing, i will continue to improve, to continue to learn how to tame this nasty, nagging disease that i seem to have.

as for this morning, i procrastinated. :P So i still have a ways to go :P I just could not face it, getting going. But i muddled thru and did manage to get 25 min at the gym. I could have had 70 min. So i procrastinated away 35 min. But I worked hard while i was at the gym and that feels good.

And i did stop on time, and i did make my 9am appt on time, which is very unusual.

so now, back to the daily grind. make a schedule. start doing it. Take breaks to connect with God and let him remind me how much he loves me and how all i want to do is serve him.

Had a productive day yesterday, which I am happy about. Also, I kept better track of my 30 minute blocks. In particular, a substantial amount of time slips away between blocks doing little things. The ratio of actual work to time at work must improve, and I think better tracking helps. This seems a little less tedious than jotting every 15 minutes what I doing. We'll see. 

On the minus side, left work at a ridiculous 11 PM, way past the 7 PM goal and even past the 10 PM bedtime goal. As a result, no cleaning up at home and I am left with tonight to aim for minimal presentability prior to traveling and then immediately after having house guests. Also, tired today, with less energy than earlier in the week, since I didn't get to bed until 1 AM. Well, so be it.

Goal 1: 30 minute work blocks, noting start times, from 10 AM to about 1 PM

Goal 2: Lunch

Goal 3: 30 minute work blocks, noting start times, from 2:30 PM to about 5:30 PM

Goal 4: Re-assess. Want to target being out of here by 7 PM at the latest.

Back to report. 

Please do not leave advice or feedback.  Thank you.  Prayers welcome. 

I'm on day 7 of this no stalking thing and I need to fix my sleep schedule.  So I am comitting to making myself wake up at 10am tomorrow, no matter what.  I will checkin here. at that time, and I will make breakfast, and keep myself awake, b/c I need to fix this rhythm.

I have a lot to do today, and I felt pretty cornered timewise, so I canceled an appointment. I try to be more realistic about how much time I need, as I often panic a bit, when I realize that I don't have much time left. Well, now I have a bit more space in my plan.

My to do list is made, so I know what to do. I'll check in later if i can find the time.