Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Thursday 5th May 2011

(Thanks Vic)

Thanks, Vic, I appreciate the support. It's 2 steps forward, one step back. Just have to try hard to not make it 2 steps back (or more).

fudoshin : day 108

Please do not leave advice.  Thank you.  Prayers welcome. 

                                                                                                                          

 

This is the 108th day that I have followed through with the following:

  • 90 days away from dating sites and facebook
  • 90 days of not stalking people's profiles of people I've tried to date in the past
  • 90 days of not stalking people online that I've tried to date in
    the past. (I am now back on day 71 for this).
  • No Internet chat, aside from employment or twelve-step.  This
    includes not stalking people on AIM or other chat networks, whom I've
    tried to date in the past. (I'm on day 36 of this.)
  • 56 days of exercise (I'm on day 5 of this).

Let me explain why I made it 36 days and then stopped the chat bit.  I contacted the person I was obsessing over.  He probably did not even get my message or he did. I don't even know, but I need to do things that are self-esteem building from now on.  I think honestly that it's okay for me to check to see if this person is in a relationship. I think it's worthwhile.  It might be heart-breaking, but at least I'll have an understanding.  I am just now going to leave that for later.  I have more important things to do with preparing for the last 67 minutes of my exam.  what I need is more self-esteem building right now....and that's all.  I don't need to look at his dating profile.  I'll wait until the weekend. 

I realize I used this nonrelationship as a way to procrastinate, becasue I turned my pain about this nonrelationship into a way to dissociate from the grief of feeling incapable of doing all the work that I wanted to get done.  Yes, it hurts a lot that he had no interest in me.  It's like having a crush on someone who doesn't like you back.  It's okay that that hurts and that that's how I feel, and it's okay to be gentle and kind to myself.  It's okay to acknowledge that I am hurt about it.

But whenever I contact him, I may not get a response, b/c he's not reliable.  And I need to get real about that.  I may never be able to do so in the face of it.  For me, the third step has always been about doing other shit, not actively letting anything go, because that's like a negative action.  The only step I can take is a positive step in the resurrection of my own life.   And I know that I'm hurting a lot.  I hurt a lot b/c I fear that I will always be alone, that nobody wants me and that I can't do anything about it, no matter how much self-work I do.  A bunch of students from my class were getting together to drink alcohol tonight as a party.  I don't drink alcohol as a way of having fun.  That's not what it is for me.  I don't feel very strongly about it, it's just not my main thing.  Like alcohol is only ever an accessory to other things: karaoke, dance, a game, movie, event, etc.  But it's never going to be the main thing.  So I always feel out of sorts when people talk about going to drink alcohol.  I'm like, "Well, I'm gonna go home and make a caesar salad."  And I'd really rather go home and eat a salad especially when I'm starving.

 

 


Finding a way check in

9.45 am Friday

Thanks for starting us Rexroth. Not so good today, but better than yesterday. Guidelines for myself: baby steps and no harsh self-criticism. 

To do:

  • handwashing
  • work emails x 4
  • phone J if needed
  • exercises (use as break if stuck)
  • timesheet
  • April claim
  • other home jobs, shopping, PO etc after lunch

Thank you all for being here.

Hitting the wall

12:29 PM: After pretty solid, if still strained and imperfect, productivity since I started tracking my work on March 9, I have really been struggling the last two weeks. I took a few days off to visit my kids in another state, and came back sad, stressed, and out of sync. I haven't been tracking my work, have been allowing myself frequent looks at the Internet, and the early mornings-late nights at work have also taken their toll.

I was late to a meeting yesterday morning, and today just couldn't get up. I turned the alarm off in a haze, not realizing I had neglected to set my customary back-up alarms that have helped me a lot these past two months. I awakened after 8 AM, and didn't get in to work until almost 10 AM, like the bad old days. Ironically, I just received some unexpected praise yesterday from a company VP that I didn't think even knew I existed. NOW the wheels are going to come off?

Part of the problem is that I have had several difficult (for me) cases to analyze and report on, and have been trying hard to put them off. At the same time, I am stressed about the effect on my turn around time, which I have spent nearly two months working to improve. I was just commenting here yesterday that I need to improve my knowledge base so I don't always feel as though I am working at the limits of my competence, because I think that ties into my fears and anxieties and desire to procrastinate about making difficult calls. I also think that my anxiety about making mistakes contributes to my compulsive need to work very long hours.

Well, all I can do is all I can do. As tiresome as it is, I have to go back to tracking my work, especially if I am faltering on turn around.

Goal 1: Start over, in a sense, at 1 PM. (Like Journey's current quote, eh?)

- Restart time tracking

- Stay on the straight and narrow, 30 minute blocks at a time, so everything gets "touched" every day, even if I can't finish it immediately

Goal 2: Allow some time each day, maybe 30 minutes instead of my ambitious goal of an hour yesterday (which didn't happen, even though I worked until 10:30 PM). If that won't work, I'll try 15 minutes. For goodness' sake, it takes me that long to make a rest room and coffee run. Surely I can "find" 15 minutes to work on something that will improve my work life eventually?

Goal 3: Leave no later than 9 PM. I am serious this time. Sleep deprivation will do me in. I think I have exhausted my reserves. 

Back to report. 

(4change)

Thanks for sharing. I think you are doing great, and your plan of starting over is great. When you "hit the wall" you found another way to get to the other side. Don;t give up, keep showing up, and walk around this wall until you build up your muscles again.Thanks for sharing your  "real" recovery.

bayhorses ci 5/5

Nice to you hope4meandu! Thanks for the welcome...

this morning -

write sample endorsements - DONE

write endorement letters - DONE

lunch break

this afternoon -

write blog post - DONE

mail certificates - DONE

pay bills - DONE

email client about bc - DONE

clear email - DONE YAY!!

Journey 10:30 &

You know, I should just change my signature line to "I'm getting off to a slow start today" because it seems I say that every day  })

Anyway, I am getting off to a slow start today, I had a 9 am meeting and barely made it to the office in time for it.   Since the meeting I've been doing, well, nothing. I'm going to get coffee and get that todo list done in record time, no need to overanalyze it eh?

Update 12:30  todo list done, MIT #1 completed and I had my extremely healthy lunch. Now I am going to work on installing maintenance to the lab system I just built. 

4:00 Ugh Long meeting, went WAY over time.  Back to maintenance.   I will work on this for about 45 more minutes, not as much time as I had planned but long meeting is long.

Jo

I know it's never too late to make a brand new start - from "Brand New Start" by Paul Weller

kromer 10:15 CI

OK, today is a busy day, and I haven't really gotten started yet.

I need to:
*Finish prep for presentation
*Give presentation
*Drop off key for friend

*Collect samples
*Pick up oligos
*Email FWC, PJ, AvO, CB
*Change food, plugs and setup

*Update MK notebook(mostly done)

OK, working on presentation prep now

So glad to hav found this

So glad to hav found this site. Yesterday was my first posting and knowing I've stopped kidding myself REALLY HELPED.

 

Here's my list for today:

Make a list and declare to myself and others I'm accountabel

Adobe Illustrator lesson

Look over masters requirements

Chart food, good and bad

If time at show in greenroom, read Sol and write commentary

Welcome djane!

Good to have you here! Keep coming back. 

hope4meandu day 22 here; day 26 at work

Thanks Rexroth for starting!!! Welcome bayhorses!!!! nice to meet you!!! Please keep coming & sharing!!

Hi!! Grateful to be here. Have to apologize, I posted here that me and hubby were splitting up, and got lots of sympathy & support. Today, things are thankfully good with us & wanted to acknowledge this.

-buy Yoffee a new bed
-research getting Yoffee stairs
-how to get Yoffee allergy shots
-check on credit cards
-how to go to PetWorks
-call vets in area and find cheapest for Goldie
-research how to know if Goldie has worms & what to do
-cards for: G & one from Goldie to Mom
-NF

Home:
-stairs
-countertops
-cook
-10 minute workout
-cook
-clean bathroom
-wash floors
-hair
-nails

BLESSINGS & PEACE TO YOU ALL TODAY!!!

♥"Careful the wish we make, wishes are children. Careful the path they take, wishes come true..." From "Children Will Listen," by Stephen Sondheim.♥

(Hope)

Blessings to you and your husband, he is lucky to have you and we are too at PA.

(Hope4meandu)

Glad to hear that your relationship with your husband is going well now. Smile No need for the apology; no one can predict the future.

(hope)

Wow I totally missed that!

I'm glad too lol. And we are hear to support no matter what :)

re: day 26

Hope, Congrats on Day 26.  You're doing so much better!

Jo 

I know it's never too late to make a brand new start - from "Brand New Start" by Paul Weller

THANKS ((((Jo))))!!! Appreciate your support!!

♥"Careful the wish we make, wishes are children. Careful the path they take, wishes come true..." From "Children Will Listen," by Stephen Sondheim.♥

katia 5.5

Did better yesterday! :)

Things to do today-
Vitamins & #1 #2 #3
#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9
-Write/address/mail cards
-Call aunt
-Math hw!
-Send email to math class well that took balls
-Set up advisor apptwoo!

Back from the last infant massage class. Connor peed on my 5 times. He is so funny :rolleyes:

Scribbler's Thursday CI 8:06 a.m.

First of all, thanks to everybody who reads and posts here. Although you are nameless, faceless and, in fact, may well be a collection of 'bots of some kind, you are nonetheless very important people to me. I think. Anyway, I appreciate your help and hope you are all doing well and overcoming procrastination. Today...

Prep

  • Get up at 6 (6:27, equal to three snooze button swats)
  • Make bed
  • Exercise
  • Healthy breakfast 
  • Coffee, paper
  • Check-ins
  • Practice classical piece

Morning

  • Update Quicken
  • Music marketing - send mass email
  • double-check 5k
  • Research CCC negotiation
  • Call 1 CCC
  • Update steal w/FC
  • Compile cruise FC
  • Book YO room
  • Q - BN, TE

Afternoon

  • File 1 BN (EEOC?)
  • Start franchise research
  • Rewrite hireslow
  • Do 2 CIO

Evening

  • Easy run (?)
  • P/u B at soccer practice (?)
  • P/u R at 7:15 for dinner
  • Fun w/R
  • Bed by 10:30 (or thereabouts)

Tomorrow

  • Rehearse for Sat show
  • Reschedule 4/21 show
  • Come up with set list
  • Reschedule coach meetings to fit vacation
  • Drop off cookies for S
  • Buy new guitar strings
  • Invoice BN
  • Send DS blurb

5/5

Thanks for the thread Rexroth! 

Work 8AM-5PM: 

-Figure out fix for low c (test low r, test high r, test add c)

-Fix C issue [DONE]

-read mm1 [DONE]

-read mb1 [DONE]

-read mb2 [DONE]

-find temp [DONE]

After Work 5PM-Sleep:

-exercise

-check jo's

-check for gas leak in crawl space 

-check contract date, update if needed 

-send out bills

-set up appt w dr 

-mail env [DONE]

clement ci

made a schedule yesterday. wasn't too bad. felt constricting a few times, but not overwhelmingly so. And it helped to structure my day and make tradeoffs and get back on track.

so make one again today.

----------
the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748

"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb

Vic 5/5/11

Show up (done)

I view myself as someone with real "commitment issues" and after listening to a phone meeting realized that I have honored my commitment of "showing up" at PA , no matter what, for over a year now, it gives me hope, and that old "yes I can" feeling, keep doing baby steps with PA(ers). Thank you PA(ers).

Congrats on one year Vic!

I know it's never too late to make a brand new start - from "Brand New Start" by Paul Weller

(Jo)

Thanks Jo, I can only do this  one day at a time, and my "mind" has not shifted yet, but I know it will in time. When I quit smoking 30 years ago, for the first 5 years I thought of myself as a smoker not smoking at the time, it took 5 years before I could define myself as a non smoker. It took over a year to quit, at first I did not have one when I woke up, then I kept backing up the time, etc. I may be slow to change, but when I do I stick with it because it is easier to maintain then to start over, that is my hope here.Thanks Jo and everyone , could not do it without PA(ers) and hp.

My Day Today

I want to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, the telephone and online meetings, and my life.

I want to thank Rexroth for starting this trend.

Thing I have done today

Went to the 7 a.m. telephone DA meeting

Things I will do today

1. Take shower

2. Get dressed

3. Prayer and meditation morning and evening

4. Go to my appointment at 9:30 a.m.

5. Eat brunch

6. Test blood sugar twice

7. Go to see my supervisor at 1 p.m.

8. Go see my instructor and supervisor at 1:30 p.m.

9. Cut onions

10. Cook and eat dinner

11. Make bed

12. Wash dishes

13. Send out Al-Anon literature for today

14. Post Al-Anon literature for tomorrow

15. Go to the 8 p.m. face to face NA meeting

16. Post and send out what I read in a DA meeting

Thanks for letting me share

 

fudoshin : day 108 : 3:45am

Please do not leave advice.  Thank you.  Prayers welcome. 

                                                                                                                          

 

This is the 108th day that I have followed through with the following:

  • 90 days away from dating sites and facebook
  • 90 days of not stalking people's profiles of people I've tried to date in the past
  • 90 days of not stalking people online that I've tried to date in
    the past. (I am now back on day 71 for this).
  • No Internet chat, aside from employment or twelve-step.  This
    includes not stalking people on AIM or other chat networks, whom I've
    tried to date in the past. (I'm on day 36 of this.)
  • 56 days of exercise (I'm on day 5 of this).

 

 






Treehugger's list

Done:
Dishes that were late
Make bed
Cook and eat healthy lunch (flat white beans, rice and spinach)

 


 To do:
Lunch dishes
Tidy appartment
Shower

 

 


Write insurance papers
Finish reading notes for exam
Re-read questions
Plan writing and start writing

 

Rexroth Check In

Done:
Up

Todo:
Prayer and reflection x
Stay in all day for important delivery
Vote after delivery or late in evening
Deal with emails and post(if any)
Study French x
Tidy up the mess of papers etc on my work table x
Finish friend's letters (I can do it)
Read more of book x

Regards Rexroth

Rexroth Update

Done above with x and emails post and have finished friend's letters. No idea why I found them so difficult to do. I've phoned him and left a message.

Todo:
Rest
Look for various files on laptop which I can't find
Read more of book
I still feel so very tired.

Regards Rexroth

Rexroth Checkout

Done:
Been out and voted and home washed up
Chatted with friend on phone
Read more of book
Relaxed watching film
Prayed and reflected

Todo:
Bed and sleep

Night Folks

Rexroth

Well if you ever need help

Well if you ever need help with your French...Wink it's my mothertongue

Thanks Treehugger

Thanks Treehugger

That's kind of you and I can't write it in French yet

Rexroth