Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Wow, I'm really failing to cope with being 'home alone' without my housemate. At least I got myself to work on time this morning, which I was afraid I wouldn't.
I want to start using this site properly. It's slightly pointless starting right now because I'm off to spend Christmas with my parents on Wednesday and there won't be a lot of tasks there. But I want to get back into checking in daily with proper to-do lists and using the tools on the site.
Having said that, I thought I'd share something I posted elsewhere on the internet:
I've always thought that I will eventually Beat Procrastination and that my life will then begin in earnest. Recently, I've more and more been realising that I may always be, at best, a 'recovering procrastinator' - I may become more functional but I may always be a person who does funny things like holding her breath and singing little songs (not at the same time!) and setting three alarm clocks in order to be functional. And I may always be a person who occasionally loses a day (or a night) being hopelessly absorbed in something with no practical value whatsoever. AND THAT'S OKAY, actually.
Put it this way: everyone has a problem (or several!) in life. I'm happy that mine is such a small one. I'm also happy that I'm finally accepting it IS one. I don't suck, I have a problem. I'm not just being lazy or failing to try as hard as the average person. I am facing a genuine challenge here.
As I mentioned in a recent post, I like challenges.
As long as I can think of it as 'the challenge I face' rather than 'the way in which I suck', I'm up for the fight. And despite the fact that the challenge I face is of a very different order of magnitude from the challenge the armless bodybuilder faces :) I can still learn from her,
as follows:
I can do anything. My problem doesn't have to stop me, I just have to find ways to work around it. I may need more time, I may need more effort, I may need methods that seem weird to other people, but anything is still possible.
A great example of someone who faced the SAME challenge I face and still had a fantastic life is Douglas Adams. I think all writers procrastinate, but as most of you know, Douglas Adams took procrastination to a new level. He was the man who said, 'I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by,' and who had to be locked in a hotel room with his editor for three weeks in order to finish 'So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish'.
Yes, I'm sure a few wonderful books have been lost to the world because of his procrastination. But. Oh, BUT. Would any of us dare to say that he didn't do enough with his life? He was a world-famous writer and environmental activist who will probably be loved for generations, and he genuinely made the world a better place. All that and he only had 49 years in which to do it. And he didn't Beat Procrastination and then do it. He just did it somehow anyway.
I'm so inspired by that, and I want to inspire people the same way. Getting over the problem completely would be nice - but knowing that some day some kid who's lying on the floor, lying on the mess on the floor, wondering if she should just give up and die, might think of me, of the fact that I had the same problem and still had a fantastic life, and she might get up off the floor... dude, I'm crying. :)
Still need to do lights,Harr,Store. Going to give myself half hour break.
All I have to please is my Higher Power. JKL
went to store,Harr and started lights but one strain is not working. Am going to start dinner now and maybe try to rework lights later. The devil is in the details.
Ask HP for help.All I have to do is please him. JKL
Completed dinner. Now all light off on tree. Going to let go until tomorrw.
Got a lot accomplished today.
God helps those who help themselves. Made it through today. Thanks HP. Not bad day.
I am on vacation with my younger son. Slipping into the abyss of self pity and depression. Husband did not want to go and honestly, he would have been bored, and I am enjoying my son, but now feeling the self doubt and hopelessness of things ever getting better.
But, hey, I am still showing up and that is a miracle,some force at work, not me, I want to shut down so bad rather than feel these feelings, I need to redirect and most of all pray, I need my HP to come to me right now.
ck in again: I have redirected now. Sometimes venting changes things, I don't want to admit feeling bad or ask for help, after all, after all this time, I "should" be better, I forget gratitude so quickly- but for the Grace of God.
The bogeymen in my mind like to look for reasons to pull the covers over my head, and help me justify hiding from the world.
I find I start feeling a bit pathetic, when I am posting about my intentions to do tasks...then posting about those intentions again...then again - all the time with only a little forward movement on the task at hand each time.
I start thinking things like how ridiculous I am, and what the f-ck is the matter with me. And that I must sound like such a loser. Anyway...maybe the way I'm expressing it is different from how it is for you, but - even still...
That desire to hide, to shut down and tune out...I know that one. Gotcha, there. Loud and clear.
Way late checking in today but I have been diligent since 8 a.m. - until about an hour ago. Now I am procrastinating eating my lunch...not a good thing at all since I am in supposed to be in recovery from an eating disorder! Yikes. Going to stop everything now and eat; will check back after. Thanks for being here, gang.
OK got the lunch down finall after 2 phone calls and many distracx inclouding trying (unsuccessfully) to medicate the cranky cat who left a 2-inch gash on J's wrist this morning. God is my life inmanageable!
My boss was expecting a report at 3pm my time, which I have not started That's next. DONE! Then I want to pay the medical bills I spent all morning sorting (proud of meself for that one!). Then I want to do some AP software research, some AH research, and plan the rest of the week; walk the dog, prep and eat dinner, then head out to my Alanon meeting.
I am still proud and grateful to have got all those bills, insurance claims, etc. (backlogged to September) sorted and ready to pay. And I did get those 2 reports done for work, and walked the dog. But I did not do the other things on my list, nor even make a decent attempt.
For the first time since last Monday, J felt good enough to get up today. He did a little laundry and even took himself out shopping tonight. (God be with him!) So I am HOME ALONE!!! This is a RARE treat and I decided not to go out to Alanon after all.
Rather, I am relaxing by playing a little online, sending some Christmas e-cards, and I even did a little decorating with outside lights. It's very simple, but pretty, I think.
I still want to pay the bills tonight though. Might check back in here after I do that. Also might go buy a small pre-lit tabletop tree. Or not. Cat's away, I'm at play!
I'm feeling fat and hating myself today. My food has been heavier recently, as I'm having a love affair with granola bars. Any other compulsive overeaters out there?
Yesterday wasn't so good with accomplishing. I still can't believe I have this problem. I was such a go-getter get everything done kind of person all my life until my old age now!! I feel beaten....I have to leave work early today to take my husband to the Dr., I'm scared to ask my boss to leave, because I'm always trying to not be here. But I hope she will understand.
Before I leave work today, I need to do:
5k
deadline stuff for 12/31
memos
wire transfer
♥"Together we could do, what we could not do alone.♥
Me too. I am a COE. I always thought once I had food recovery, the rest of my life would be, easier, I would be more efficient, etc. Never feel fat, lonely, worthless. have a great marriage, job, etc.Boy was I ever wrong, the food, covered up so much. I can't go back to the food (for today) and I am not perfect, but feeling the feelings is hard. I know too much now, the food does not work anymore, I can't lie to myself and say if I was not in the food, I would be more efficient, have wonderful relations, etc.
My only hope is my HP and the program. I feel beaten too- but beaten is good, it is when I surrender.
I know what you mean about everything being "perfect" once the food was "in control." It's interesting that you brought this up, because not even being thinner is the answer for me today and that's totally wierd.
I too am not good at feeling the feelings, I don't even think about them, I automatically push the away, especially anger.
Anyway, I know there's a Higher Power too, because I really didn't think I'd make it out the door this a.m. and I just held his hand and took it one step at a time. It was a good day.
Take good care, Vic. ♥"Together we could do, what we could not do alone.♥
You are definitely not alone! I'm a COE also, just had to renew my surrender after some unwise food choices. This happens to me periodically since I started food recovery in 1998. Thank God I have never had to pick up another drink or drug since I surrendered those addictions back in 1980. But food and procrastination are much more cunning, baffling and powerful, it seems. For today, I accept that in these tricky addictions, occasional relapse is part of my path. Maybe it's to keep me humble.
To paraphrase something Clement once said here, that has blessed me many times: Fall down once, get up twice.
The good news is, we can start our 24 hours over again anytime! Just don't quit 5 minutes before the miracle. Soon these holidays will be in the past, along with most of the things that are depressing us, and we'll not be able even to remember what bugged us that Christmas back in 2009....
Winding down before going home for christmas tomorrow.
However, "winding down" doesn't mean "stop working"...I need to get some stuff done today so that I can leave :)
What I need to get done today:
*BrdU injection
*Look at ES cells
*Fluorescence test (have started to make a plan for this)
*Organize papers
*Get stats, WM, microarray stuff together to work on over holidays
*Pack
*Buy bday present for mom (and for ag and ia if I get time)
OK, right now I'm going to ask MG if he'll look at ES cells with me, then I'll talk to YCH about helping me w/ fluorescence test, then I'll talk to TE and do BrdU injection.
Lucky CI
Wow, I'm really failing to cope with being 'home alone' without my housemate. At least I got myself to work on time this morning, which I was afraid I wouldn't.
I want to start using this site properly. It's slightly pointless starting right now because I'm off to spend Christmas with my parents on Wednesday and there won't be a lot of tasks there. But I want to get back into checking in daily with proper to-do lists and using the tools on the site.
Having said that, I thought I'd share something I posted elsewhere on the internet:
An armless bodybuilder:
She rocks my socks quite profoundly.
Yet more about procrastination:
I've always thought that I will eventually Beat Procrastination and that my life will then begin in earnest. Recently, I've more and more been realising that I may always be, at best, a 'recovering procrastinator' - I may become more functional but I may always be a person who does funny things like holding her breath and singing little songs (not at the same time!) and setting three alarm clocks in order to be functional. And I may always be a person who occasionally loses a day (or a night) being hopelessly absorbed in something with no practical value whatsoever. AND THAT'S OKAY, actually.
Put it this way: everyone has a problem (or several!) in life. I'm happy that mine is such a small one. I'm also happy that I'm finally accepting it IS one. I don't suck, I have a problem. I'm not just being lazy or failing to try as hard as the average person. I am facing a genuine challenge here.
As I mentioned in a recent post, I like challenges.
As long as I can think of it as 'the challenge I face' rather than 'the way in which I suck', I'm up for the fight. And despite the fact that the challenge I face is of a very different order of magnitude from the challenge the armless bodybuilder faces :) I can still learn from her,
as follows:
I can do anything. My problem doesn't have to stop me, I just have to find ways to work around it. I may need more time, I may need more effort, I may need methods that seem weird to other people, but anything is still possible.
A great example of someone who faced the SAME challenge I face and still had a fantastic life is Douglas Adams. I think all writers procrastinate, but as most of you know, Douglas Adams took procrastination to a new level. He was the man who said, 'I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by,' and who had to be locked in a hotel room with his editor for three weeks in order to finish 'So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish'.
Yes, I'm sure a few wonderful books have been lost to the world because of his procrastination. But. Oh, BUT. Would any of us dare to say that he didn't do enough with his life? He was a world-famous writer and environmental activist who will probably be loved for generations, and he genuinely made the world a better place. All that and he only had 49 years in which to do it. And he didn't Beat Procrastination and then do it. He just did it somehow anyway.
I'm so inspired by that, and I want to inspire people the same way. Getting over the problem completely would be nice - but knowing that some day some kid who's lying on the floor, lying on the mess on the floor, wondering if she should just give up and die, might think of me, of the fact that I had the same problem and still had a fantastic life, and she might get up off the floor... dude, I'm crying. :)
me too Lucky
wow. what a powerful inspiring thought. a million thanks.
You're welcome!! Really glad
You're welcome!! Really glad it inspired you <3
Checking I....again/jkl
Trying to keep on track.
Still need to do lights,Harr,Store. Going to give myself half hour break.
All I have to please is my Higher Power. JKL
went to store,Harr and started lights but one strain is not working. Am going to start dinner now and maybe try to rework lights later. The devil is in the details.
Ask HP for help.All I have to do is please him. JKL
Completed dinner. Now all light off on tree. Going to let go until tomorrw.
Got a lot accomplished today.
God helps those who help themselves. Made it through today. Thanks HP. Not bad day.
Good Night.
JKL
Vic 12/21
Show up (done)
I am on vacation with my younger son. Slipping into the abyss of self pity and depression. Husband did not want to go and honestly, he would have been bored, and I am enjoying my son, but now feeling the self doubt and hopelessness of things ever getting better.But, hey, I am still showing up and that is a miracle,some force at work, not me, I want to shut down so bad rather than feel these feelings, I need to redirect and most of all pray, I need my HP to come to me right now.
ck in again: I have redirected now. Sometimes venting changes things, I don't want to admit feeling bad or ask for help, after all, after all this time, I "should" be better, I forget gratitude so quickly- but for the Grace of God.
Hey Vic...
I am so there.
I so got what you're saying.
The bogeymen in my mind like to look for reasons to pull the covers over my head, and help me justify hiding from the world.
I find I start feeling a bit pathetic, when I am posting about my intentions to do tasks...then posting about those intentions again...then again - all the time with only a little forward movement on the task at hand each time.
I start thinking things like how ridiculous I am, and what the f-ck is the matter with me. And that I must sound like such a loser. Anyway...maybe the way I'm expressing it is different from how it is for you, but - even still...
That desire to hide, to shut down and tune out...I know that one. Gotcha, there. Loud and clear.
Warmly - MC
Agnus checking in
Way late checking in today but I have been diligent since 8 a.m. - until about an hour ago. Now I am procrastinating eating my lunch...not a good thing at all since I am in supposed to be in recovery from an eating disorder! Yikes. Going to stop everything now and eat; will check back after. Thanks for being here, gang.
Agnus to-do's
OK got the lunch down finall after 2 phone calls and many distracx inclouding trying (unsuccessfully) to medicate the cranky cat who left a 2-inch gash on J's wrist this morning. God is my life inmanageable!
My boss was expecting a
Then I want to pay the medical bills I spent all morning sorting (proud of meself for that one!). Then I want to do some AP software research, some AH research, and plan the rest of the week; walk the dog, prep and eat dinner, then head out to my Alanon meeting.
report at 3pm my time, which I have not startedThat's next. DONE!Agnus finale du jour
I am still proud and grateful to have got all those bills, insurance claims, etc. (backlogged to September) sorted and ready to pay. And I did get those 2 reports done for work, and walked the dog. But I did not do the other things on my list, nor even make a decent attempt.
For the first time since last Monday, J felt good enough to get up today. He did a little laundry and even took himself out shopping tonight. (God be with him!) So I am HOME ALONE!!! This is a RARE treat and I decided not to go out to Alanon after all.
Rather, I am relaxing by playing a little online, sending some Christmas e-cards, and I even did a little decorating with outside lights. It's very simple, but pretty, I think.
I still want to pay the bills tonight though. Might check back in here after I do that. Also might go buy a small pre-lit tabletop tree. Or not. Cat's away, I'm at play!
Agnus, this is great to read
Agnus, this is great to read - enjoy your well-earned 'play' time :)
Check In
Completed
Lights,Mit/Mall
Going to bookend
Next 2 hours to see how much get done.
Kitchen,post office,wrap,store
check-in
I'm feeling fat and hating myself today. My food has been heavier recently, as I'm having a love affair with granola bars. Any other compulsive overeaters out there?
Yesterday wasn't so good with accomplishing. I still can't believe I have this problem. I was such a go-getter get everything done kind of person all my life until my old age now!! I feel beaten....I have to leave work early today to take my husband to the Dr., I'm scared to ask my boss to leave, because I'm always trying to not be here. But I hope she will understand.
Before I leave work today, I need to do:
5k
deadline stuff for 12/31
memos
wire transfer
♥"Together we could do, what we could not do alone.♥
(Hope)
Me too. I am a COE. I always thought once I had food recovery, the rest of my life would be, easier, I would be more efficient, etc. Never feel fat, lonely, worthless. have a great marriage, job, etc.Boy was I ever wrong, the food, covered up so much. I can't go back to the food (for today) and I am not perfect, but feeling the feelings is hard. I know too much now, the food does not work anymore, I can't lie to myself and say if I was not in the food, I would be more efficient, have wonderful relations, etc.
My only hope is my HP and the program. I feel beaten too- but beaten is good, it is when I surrender.
Thanks Vic for your reply
I know what you mean about everything being "perfect" once the food was "in control." It's interesting that you brought this up, because not even being thinner is the answer for me today and that's totally wierd.
I too am not good at feeling the feelings, I don't even think about them, I automatically push the away, especially anger.
Anyway, I know there's a Higher Power too, because I really didn't think I'd make it out the door this a.m. and I just held his hand and took it one step at a time. It was a good day.
Take good care, Vic.
♥"Together we could do, what we could not do alone.♥
hugs to hope4meandu
You are definitely not alone! I'm a COE also, just had to renew my surrender after some unwise food choices. This happens to me periodically since I started food recovery in 1998. Thank God I have never had to pick up another drink or drug since I surrendered those addictions back in 1980. But food and procrastination are much more cunning, baffling and powerful, it seems. For today, I accept that in these tricky addictions, occasional relapse is part of my path. Maybe it's to keep me humble.
To paraphrase something Clement once said here, that has blessed me many times: Fall down once, get up twice.
The good news is, we can start our 24 hours over again anytime! Just don't quit 5 minutes before the miracle. Soon these holidays will be in the past, along with most of the things that are depressing us, and we'll not be able even to remember what bugged us that Christmas back in 2009....
Thanks so much, Agnus, appreciate your response
Wow, 1980's, amazing!! it's been 20 years in & out and abstinent and not in OA. January 31st will be 2 years abstinent, thank HP!!
Yes, about the food and procrastinating. I still can't believe this thing is a disease, it feels like my failings, what's wrong with me?
Thanks for the perspective, yes, things pass - and this will too.
So glad we have each other, our fellows & this site.
Take care,
hope
♥"Together we could do, what we could not do alone.♥
kromer 10 CI
Winding down before going home for christmas tomorrow.
However, "winding down" doesn't mean "stop working"...I need to get some stuff done today so that I can leave :)
What I need to get done today:
*BrdU injection
*
Look at ES cells*Fluorescence test (have started to make a plan for this)
*Organize papers
*Get stats, WM, microarray stuff together to work on over holidays
*Pack
*Buy bday present for mom (and for ag and ia if I get time)
OK, right now I'm going to ask MG if he'll look at ES cells with me, then I'll talk to YCH about helping me w/ fluorescence test, then I'll talk to TE and do BrdU injection.
George Smiley, 12/31/09
Just need to keep going.
~~
Want what you have. Be who you are. Do what you can. ~Forrest Church (1948-2009)
The Hero's Code: Show Up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.