Sunday, May 3rd, 2009

Hi Everyone! My internet connection went down right in the middle of posting my ci this morning! Finally reconnected but not at home to do it!  I don't like not posting ci or being connected online - it has become a habit, i like good habits!

 Thanks Sarito for the step starter! I too find great comfort and hope in their truth and have overcome many things "by Gods Grace" using those steps before I really knew what they were!  Now that I know them it is even better, believing God to help me overcome avoidance the same way he has helped me overcome other addictions in the past.

Word and prayer for the day:

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

Jeremiah 32:27 Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?

Reading: Many of us think that we could handle life's challenges better if we only had self confidence. While self confidence helps, it is limited to only what we can do by ourselves.I have learned that God confidence is much more powerful.

My to do list - rest of day:

Job2 made progress, today need2finish by tomorrow, design plan, sample, invoice, emails

jobFS email, email jobC about phone mtg, email P, call JobAT, email jobAT

plan jobM, job2, plan week, plan bills/expenses

playtime for dd, Church 6p

Thank you notes, photo cds (started finally) 

Lord help me, i just twittered away an hour and a half - justified it by telling myself it is good networking for business, truth it good thing, bad timing - need to do this design and I am avoiding it.Music, prayer to use time before going to sleep wisely.

I felt so much better about myself and I did not almost have a car accident going to my adult class. I knew when I had to leave to be there and that is what I focused on.

I shared once at my other 12 step meetings- I never "plan" to be late, but I never "plan" to be on time. I need to plan the exact time to leave and then do it.

The girl I told about pa last week, did finish her papers at 6am (due that morning). She said she wanted to try pa at the begining of the next school term. I could relate to that- she probably could not handle the stress or one more thing. At leaset she had a sense of humor and said she was procrastinating pa, it made me feel good to know she may try it later.

Someone shared that "which came first" cycle- depression or procrastination. I am really trying hard to stay out of self pity. I hate to even use that work- to me it has the same stigma as lazy, self centered, obnoxious, etc. Maybe that is the wrong word to use- it is more like a clinical depression, frozen, self loathing feeling that leads to self criticism, blame, anger, etc.paralysis and mental torment. It does help to share and know that these symptoms are part of the procratination disorder and I am not alone.

So today- 1. I did get to adult sunday school and church on time, read paper, have been surfing on the computer aimlessly for 2 hr. now.

My son has soccer at 3pm, I keep checking my e-mail because it is raining and I am not sure if it will be canceled. He has a cold, so I don't know if I want him to go if it is not canceled. My husband's birthday is tues., I wanted us to go to a movie/dinner? He took off before I could tell him, so I don't know when he will be back. So once again, because I procrastinated about talking to him, I am left with indecision and anxiety.

I just need to start moving now. So now, next 3 things are shower, help son with homework, by that time we should decide on soccer or movie.

Thanks for letting me share here. Progress not perfection.

slept late then sat on the porch with DH and relaxed for a while this morning.   Now it's time to get to work!  First on the agenda: laundry.  

There is a proper balance between not asking enough of oneself and asking or expecting too much.  - May Sarton

Hello all.

I try to post a check-in periodicaly, maybe two or three times per month.

I don't have much to report this time -- still working to slowly dissolve some blocks.

Just wanted to say that I read here often, and I really appreciate the wisdom that everyone shares.

I am grateful for this group.

I have gained some recovery in some of my other programs, largely due to wisdom I have learned here.

Thank you P.A., and thank you Higher Power.

-- movingalong

Hi Pro Buddies!

I brought two new-to-me patio chairs & a pedestal accent table to my condo this morning, thanks to a neighbor who had put them out by the roadside last night for someone to take. They were still there this morning, so I went around in my car and got them. They are furniture-quality chairs (more than lawn chairs) so I am very happy with them :)

Bringing in the new chairs inspired me to re-arramge the balcony arrangement. A couple of plants hadn't made it too well through the winter, so I took those to the dumpster. My dad & aunt will visit in 2 weeks. I still need to sweep & do a couple more things before their visit, but should be able to do that next weekend :)

Finally, after all that, it was time for my bike ride. It had rained yesterday & during the night, so it was the perfect air & temperature for a morning bike ride. Being Sunday morning, even though it was later than my usual riding time, there was still enough of a scarcity of cars to make the ride relaxing and enjoyable.

However there were extra people at the park where I do my qigong. As much as I could, I took time enjoying the garden which was refreshed by the recent rain, and tried to time my qigong when people & their pets weren't directly around. I'm at that garden only 1 day a week, and today I really needed to be there to help me spend time with HP, to help me recover from some disappointments & painful thoughts I had yesterday. That accomplished as much self-care as I can do for this morning.

Next I need to putter around the condo. At some point I am going to go on the train & uptown to the gym. We'll see how it goes!

5:05pm. I've kept at it today. I've washed several loads of clothes, and run the dishwasher. I went on the train uptown & to the gym. I colored & cut my hair.

I need to fix something to eat, and I need to type some stuff. After that, I can write some emails to friends, then get ready to talk to my dad on the telephone tonight. I will probably go to bed early tonight.

9:30pm. I fixed food. I typed what I was supposed to type. I talked to Dad on the phone. I wrote emails to friends. I also called some [local] people in my other 12-step program; I was feeling lonely & need to talk to someone. Now it's time to go to sleep.

Have a great day, everyone! :)

Recycler

Recycler

Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)

Great info! Thanks!