Great thread starter today, Sartito!
It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
I've argued with myself whether Kaye's advice can exacerbate the cycle of chronic procrastination for those prone to it, by encouraging them to take on too much. It's so appealing, though, that it is very hard to think otherwise. I guess the trick is to figure out how much paint you can handle!
My last check-in was in the midst of weekend rush:
The good news was that I stayed focus through a very rushed Saturday afternoon and got done what had to be done and did the best I could with the rest.
Sunday wasn't quite as successful as I would have liked. By the end of Sunday taxes were well underway but not done... which means that I'm now trying to wrap them up in my available spare time during the business week. Tonight will tell whether I actually have to take time off from work tomorrow to finish them, hardly what I want to do.
Trying to do that plus normal routines has cut into my sleep a bit the last two nights and hasn't helped productivity at work or anything else today. Which made a side development at work into a very interesting demonstration of the psychology of procrastination:
- I start the workday at a pretty low-functioning level, doing busy work which is typically all I'm good for when I'm running tired. And then...
- Mid-afternoon I receive a call about a work project that's been delayed (and I know my procrastination is a factor).
Instant adrenaline rush as I take the call.
But the outcome is good.
The caller is able to adjust for the effect of my delays and work out a revised plan.
A reprieve and chance to make good again!
After the call I find I'm feeling much better, upbeat and alert. The initial adrenaline rush of the call might something to do with it but I think there's something more: an endorphin rush from the good outcome. It's not from anything I accomplished, though, except arguably for not botching the call. It's because I got another chance at something I'd helped mess up by procrastinating.
Burka and Yuen talk about this sort of effect in the opening chapter of their book on Procrastination. (See PA reviews on the book here: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/83 ) This effect is also part of the cycle of procrastination. The typical progression in the cycle would be for the opportunity to be wasted as the stress of facing the actual task, which really hasn't fundamentally changed, sets in.
At this point I'm still learning the tools of dealing with Procrastination so I don't have a fully developed plan for how I will get out of the cycle. I just know that I must. What I'm learning here at PA about those tools is definitely a valuable first step. The next is to actually use them.
And in the meantime, I have to go back to my home life and do my taxes. It is now time to face the immediate reality of that delayed task.
"Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of."
Hi Pro Buddies!
Tonight I have a volunteer meeting, so I'm doing a quick CI now.
This morning I went to the gym, did my cardio, ab exercises, and stretching.
At work today, even though I've veered from project to project, I've been mostly industrious.
At lunchtime, I went for a walk, ate lunch & did an errand.
Did some projects for an absent coworker in the afternoon.
Now I need to finish up a couple projects before the end of the day.
Have a great night, everyone! :)
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
I did items listed below. You would think I would be elated, but I feel pathetic- I guess I need to work on pride and lack of gratitude. I need to change my thinking and feeling- why would I want to do anything, if I still feel like this afterward. I don't understand it but I know I am in the right place.
Kids home in 15 minutes- vacumn, soccer, homework with 2 kids, dinner, etc. May have work appt. tonight. I will make a list and I want to get a walk in.
I am going to decide to be happy about myself and what God gave me the grace to do even if I don't feel like it. So what if I am pathetic, I would be more pathetic if I didn't do those things.
My momentum has slowly been cranking up when I checked in
I want my meditation books to be a routine, like brushing my teeth- I'm not there yet but I am glad I did today. The meditation book talk about keeping your focus on HP like a gymnast does on the balance beam, so as not to lose your balance and fall.
I am always amazed at how I think I am spiritual and I don’t need to read my meditation books and then it’s like I “come to” out of a blackout and realize I am in some form of self will.
I did service by calling a sponsee in another 12 step program and will e-mail her this website.
Put down “items” that need to be taken care of on paper so as to get the out of my head.
Did several items am eating lunch.
3 things I do not want to do but will attempt are
1. Pay Dr. Bill. I have the money, but I am avoiding it because:
1) I procrastinated up til now, so doing it makes me feel worse????????? Or face the discomfort of seeing my procrastination, but at least I can write it and be understood here. The Dr. is nice but his nurse has no bedside manners and I could see her “yelling” at me. 2) I got a flu shot at the office because they recommended it and I thought it was covered by my insurance. It cost $70, and I could have gotten it for free at work, I wish they would have told me it wasn’t covered. I am angry, also at myself, I should have asked if it was covered, but usually they tell you, but there is nothing I could about it, but it adds to the procrastination (passive-aggressive???)3) I think of these stupid ideas like well, I will be going by the office, so I could save a stamp. The truth is even if I do go by the office, they will be closed, and I don’t know if they would want me to slip it in the mail (especially the nasty nurse)- so why do I keep thinking of doing this???
I have to go to the post office to pick something up for my husband, so I will do the bill now.
2. Print out a form for my rebate - fear (that I waited to long and it is expired)
3. Call different Dr. for appt. This one has been sick and then away. It is so hard to connect with him but I don’t want to go anywhere else. I have been off one of my meds because I can’t connect. Fear- I will call and I will not get anywhere.
These are not grandiose aspirations . These are the things normal people do and can’t understand why I can’t just sit down and do them Quite frankly I don’t understand either, I don’t feel better by not doing them, I just feel sick and worse and worse about myself and I think everyone must feel the same way about me , but I do know this website and some newfound friends has been helping me out of my paralysis by sharing my feelings here so can do these kinds of things. And for that I am grateful.
Today is rest day! I took the day off after working ALL weekend. I slept late, went to see Dad and run a couple of errands, then came home and crawled back into bed. I'm finally feeling human. Household chores are way behind, dh usually fills in for me when I have to work weekends, but he was helping his brother out with some much needed stuff. I think I'll bathe dogs, clean the bathroom and do some laundry. I'm going to take it sort of easy because I feel tired, but that doesn't mean I should waste the day either. See you in chatbox!
There is a proper balance between not asking enough of oneself and asking or expecting too much. - May Sarton
I have been doing alright the last couple of weeks, something I am very proud of! And I am also readying Steven Pressfields "The War of Art" which I am finding extremely helpful. I borrowed it from the library, but I think I am try one for myself to keep.
So, today, I am fighting my resistance, my inner negative voice. I will accomplish shining the kitchen, running two laundry cycles, setting my timer to tidy living room. I have one hour and forty minutes to the above as well as finish my computer checkin's.
Wishing everyone strength to help you overcome your resistance!
Nothing is worth more than this day - Goethe
CI 9:42 AM
Today hasn't started out well; I'm putting out fires instead of progressing. Fires that should have been taken care of on time - which is why I'm here (sigh).
Taking it from the angle that this is actually a good thing - because I can see where/what I need to do and how to keep most of it from happening again if I follow through.
I can't go anywhere driving, Dad took my car this morning for inspection, and someone's lost some paperwork so that can't be done. Not me this time!
Gentlemen, I believe we have much to discuss.
(Robert Lansing as Control, The Equalizer, Trial by Ordeal.)
Good morning everyone. This is errand and meeting day, so I need to do everything in the best order I can. Forgetting things is bad, but remembering what I've forgotten can be worse. I hope you are all fine.
call dr. about re-doing script
meeting at noon
use timer for ten minutes of housework
get light bulbs before dark
do one section of main project for work
do one section of second work project
help neighbor with thing
put everything on "out" pile in mail
Thank you for the starter- i like the reminder and the hope of knowing today can be what I make it.
And Vic - inner environment - so true - just read a jm quote, "right action follows right thinking" It is not the external things that control me but how I respond to them, praying my responses are led by God today and not my fear.
Word and prayer for the day again: 2 Cor. 12:9 (niv, message)
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
But he told me: "My kindness is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak.
"My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
My to do list:
order tape, ss paper
job1 final revisions2
plan job1 - 2 wk schedule
park, p up pp, dd st 5:15
Clear email/inbox for day
job 2 continue tools: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/2023#comment-29655
Today I read:"We live in the age of technique and boast that we have conquered time and space and matter and nature…But of what good are conquests if they play solely in the field of external environment, leaving internal environment prostrate and helpless to be ravaged by the onslaughts of unbridled tempers?…control of our internal environment is infinitely more important than all the possible triumphs we may be able to score over external environment.” by Dr. Low, MD
ok- this site is my only tool to help my inner environment right now- God please make me willing!!!!!!!!
ok- it's raining, I am tired, I don't want to start, etc., etc., etc.,same ole same ole.
I told myself If I was working right now, I would have a structure- that is true, but it would be one nore excuse not to get to the things I am avoiding.
The avoidance is linked to feeling the discomfort of each item. If I break them down, I can face the discomfort is little pieces.(I hope) I am afraid of failing, so I need to do things that I can succeed at. I hope it starts the momentum
Step 0- check in here
1. do basics (change, read meditations, journal, dishes. bed
2. check in again
Checking in more-or-less on time (I try to check in at 8), which is good
Scheduled:class 11-12:30, maybe bio colloquium 4-5:15
*Read papers for class
*Prep for mtg w/ DP
*Finish structure analysis (started)
*Doc 3 files (started)
*Write MoD summary (started)
*Email TH about M family
*Try extra stats problem and check stats hw (have meeting to check HW at 6:30)
*Clean out 100 emails
*Lunch with classmates
OK, right now I'm going to finish structure analysis. Heading to chatbox, back when done.
Update 2--Just got back from lunch. Mostly done w/ secondary structure analysis, but I still have some more work to do on that. Then, I'll document code files and read papers for class. Feeling a lot of resistance to working today, will head to chatbox and chat through with some peppy music.
Just read somewhere that recovery is doing what is on my list when I say I'm going to do it. Okay, that hasn't been really happening... though at least I am doing something (instead of hiding out and doing nothing at all).
I also know that though the tough gets going at the very beginning, as I ease into things, I sometimes even enjoy the very tasks I was avoiding and even fearing.
Cleaning, for instance, has taken on a new dimension. Used to hate it... Now, I like to scrub and think. Cathartic, in a way. Plus, I love having a clean house.
These days, I am avoiding practicing. A lot of fear. I know that in the past, the tide changes. The beginning is tough and then the tide changes and I get very into it. I become fully engaged, feel myself making progress and getting clarity.
So, to that end, here is my list for today:
Review Notes, Study Group (done), V repair appointment (done), T repair (done), exercise (done), 3 hours practice (2 hours, slight improvement from yesterday in terms of concentration).
* Important document I was waiting for arrived today so I got sidetracked processing related papers.
Also, I want to turn over that I am having a hard time turning into bed early. I am on break (though exams are right around the corner) so it is more tempting for me to stay up late... Will make it to bed by 11pm today (turned in at 11:15pm).
Have a pleasant day everyone.
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