Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.
Thursday
CL ci - gotta have faith
once again, posting cause i'm stuck. Work is a bit boring, repetitive, but necessary.
I am so encouraged when i come here and read. You people are great.
4 min later: that's it. done. 4 min!
that's why i have to have procras faith. which always makes me think of the george michael song. For all the world it looked like the task before me was monumental, but notwithstanding the "evidence" (at least as it appeared to me) i believed that i could do it, and should do it, and stepped on the path to doing it, and voila, here i am at the other side and, indeed, it was not bad at all. I was right to have faith.
Which reminds me of that scene in Indian Jones and the Last Crusade where he has to take that leap of faith... which someone so nicely has clipped for us on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-c8_OFwZoY
----------
http://www.procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1114#comment-23050
Recycler CI 9:30pm EST
Hi!
A not-in-control day around here. Not that any day is in control, but considerably less illusion of that today! ;)
Walked uptown as usual. Gym wasn't opened yet -- some kind of schedule mix-up, oops! Stood in the building lobby with 20-some other early birds ;) Finally the gym opened. I had already done my cardio (walk), so only had to do my stretching, etc.
Went to office early, so before work I could prepare a Very Important Fed Ex to send. Made a phone call. Worked, then took a break to send Fed Ex.
Got a lot of projects done today. Had an uncomfortable situation arise. Eight or 9 times a year, I turn in orders for various departments to purchase books. For 4 years that has been ok. Today my boss freaked out. (small freak out, but still a freak out). I ordered 12 books as requested, which a small group is going to reimburse for. Well, evidently I wasn't supposed to. OK, from now on: I'm going to send All requests through my boss. No point in me getting in trouble for doing what up through now has been a regular, occasional part of my job.
Still had various other things on my project list, so worked on those. Felt sad, though, due to the unintended disruptive episode. Still kind of emotionally reacting to it.
Completed a volunteer project after work, and distributed it through email.
Walked home, checked messages.
Preview party tonight at my new condo complex. I really like the new condo & feel happy about it. Talked to some people at the party, which was ok. However, one [drinking] lady made some rude comments toward my choice of a condo, so I've got a small emotional reaction going on about that, too.
Well, what a day, and I kind of knew it would be like that, but ya gotta get through the days as they come! I hope tomorrow will be better for me, you & everyone!
Have a great night! :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
hugs to recycler
I hope your little Corgi-butt picture cheers you up as much as it does me! Can't HELP but smile everytime I see it. Thanks, recy!
thanks, Agnes :)
Hi Agnus!
Thanks! :) I'm glad you like the Corgi!
I try to keep moving those little legs as fast as I can! ;) Have a great weekend! :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
Friday 11.36am - having a bad day
I am feeling really anxious and tired today, and really resistant to doing any of the things I need to do. Feeling a lot of inertia due to the fact that I didn't get anything much done yesterday, although with my mother and sister visiting and Baby not really sleeping it was a planned sort of day off.
Really need to set and get into MITs.
MITs:
-hang laundry out
-Begin writing A section on thesis, even if only one sentence
I think that is the one that I need to do to break through the anxiety and fear, every time I move onto a new section I feel very anxious about starting it and it spills over into every area of my life :( Can feel dbaby's naptime slipping away but finding it so hard to stop messing around and get into it.
re: Hidden reasons for procrast, I think part of it for me is that if I procrast and do a shoddy job of things I can say that the reason I didn't do that well is because I didn't really try, whereas if I try my hardest and still don't do a perfect job I will feel stupid. People think of me as a smart person, but I feel like if I work as hard as I can and still do a mediocre job people will find out I am not as smart as they think (e.g. dh who has an IQ of 162).
hugs to chemgirl
I totally understand the "afraid of feeling stupid" reaon for procrastination, I have that too. (I can't always get around this, but sometimes it helps to write out a list of things that I have worked my hardest on and how I've done on them...this helps me convince myself that I'm actually capable of doing good work.)
Best of luck...one sentence at a time is the way to go!
Convalaria's Recovery Friday 7.00 am
Feeling a lttle bit down today. I do not want to waste the day. Thankfully so far the paralysis I usually experience during the school holidays has not happenend but I have not made as much head way as I would have liked. A good thing to report....I managed to do some easy sorting work last night, much better than the wall that usually defeats me in the evenings.
So:
"Recovery from procrastination means doing what you say you're going to do, when you say you're going to do it."
yay for convalaria!
<<<sorting work last night, much better than the wall that usually defeats me>>>
Convalaria's Recovery Friday 15.15, 22.50
Grrrr Got distracted!!!!!!
Forgot about a dental appointment when listing MIT"s
Got tickets , went to the appointment, had coffee with friend and then sort of surfed the mall.
I now have three and a half hours before I go out.
So.....
22.51
Doggy not walked.
Make up not on
Mother sort of checked on.
Some sorting done.
play was enjoyable
Tomorrow a greater focus on work
Something positive....I have not felt paralysed these school holidays
"Recovery from procrastination means doing what you say you're going to do, when you say you're going to do it."
Agnus checking in 2:35, 4:10, 438
Already today I have made coffee, personal stuff, called sponsor and a sponsee and Mom, attended a 12-Step meeting (5 minutes late but there at least!), done grocery shopping, put stuff away, did pet care, participated in a 75-minute conference call, 15-minute client call, ate breakfast, checked bank balances (new daily habit), cleaned up Inbox, dealt with about 45 emails, did favor for a friend.
Now: prep and eat lunch. DONE also 2 unplanned phone calls Request telephone time with new AP Project client to think through my next steps; DONE feeling frozen by their indecision but also under time pressures. unfortunately the indecision remains but we identified some tasks that I can move ahead on. Then I will check back in with MITs that make sense in response to that. So MITs and to-do's:
Also I should mention that dancing around the edges of my awareness are some Big Picture questions like: Am I really doing what I want to do with my life? I wonder if these have been hiding underneath the chaos, peeking out now that my backlogs are dwindling...
Ag 5:30, 9:55
This has been another tough day. Have not eaten dinner yet, so the 10 pm bedtime goal is not going to happen tonight. Going to go eat now, then brush prep and go to bed. G'night friends.
Claear Insight Ag
Ag said:
" dancing around the edges of my awareness are some Big Picture questions like: Am I really doing what I want to do with my life? I wonder if these have been hiding underneath the chaos, peeking out now that my backlogs are dwindling...
This sounds like STEP 3 stuff to me.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God
Dealing with tthe backlog may have consequences that we did not anticipate.
Turning our lives to the higher power and changing our procrastinating ways may reveal areas of our lives that we have been avoiding......
Scary stuff for me!
"Recovery from procrastination means doing what you say you're going to do, when you say you're going to do it."
yep scary - my procras-addiction's hidden agenda?
I have read that all addictions have some underlying "payoff" more subtle than just short-term gratification...but which is indiscernable to the addict until the addictive pattern is broken. My glimpses at these Big Questions are reminding me of a painful, but seemingly necessary, life circumstance that arose a few years back and which put many of my former dreams out of reach....ouch. In fact, that might be when my procrastination tipped over the edge from bad habit to unmanageable addiction. Ack. I need to look at this some more but it is really stomach-aching stuff and is not a current MIT...but might become one tomorrow!
fascinating
first, i also found stuff lurking beneath that wasn't able to come up to breath under the suffocating pressure of playing catch up every day. not as big as yours tho.
Ag, i pray that god will soothe your stomach ache. I have pretty much given up on my life goals / dreams. but that's because i've found that the daily surrender of self & will to god puts me in touch with something that's far greater than any life goal i could imagine. I yield me to god. It feels as tho i'm losing myself, and in a way i am. But i find that god picks my self right up and holds me close to him which is a reward far greater than anything of myself that i gave up.
----------
http://www.procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1114#comment-23050
ah, there's my old friend clem!
That is exactly what I needed to hear, Clement. Do you know that your posts along those lines are one of the reasons I kept coming back here to PA long enough to start seeing results? Thank you, thank you. I've noticed you struggling lately to keep coming back, and been praying for you, too. So I want you to know: Your God uses you, my friend. Bless you for being a willing instrument.
tx ag
you're very kind :)
it has been very encouraging to me, too, to have a kindred spirit on the forum. well, i feel kindredship with everyone here--how could i not? But watching your struggle to put yourself into god's hands using the 12 steps has helped me to integrate the 12-step-ish god things into my pre-existing god things. And that was a question that was starting to arise in me about when you joined. what timing! I thank you for sharing that with me/us.
so, ag, let's agree to hoist up these ol' crosses, and carry on, eh?
----------
http://www.procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1114#comment-23050
the monster lurking beneath the pile
Oh, yeah, absolutely! One thing I have had to face in this ongoing recovery, is the fear of not being needed. As long as I have Important Things To Do, I'm important. When all of the Important Things are crossed off my list, what's left? Well, PLENTY, duh! But still, the fear remains. Recognizing the fear, and knowing it's irrational, helps a lot.
Jo
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
on Being Important
So true, Jo! My ego is really addicted to feeling important. Your post and Clem's remind me that when I took my Third Step, it stopped being about my ego and started being about finding and doing my Higher Power's will...which Step 11 reminds me I can only expect to understand for "the 24 hours ahead." Thanks for helping set me back in "today" where I belong!
Journey 2:30
Worked on an issue that arose unexpectedly for about an hour, so didn't do my exercise from class. Working on it now for 1/2 hour, then moving on to MIT #3.
Jo
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
Journey 11:30
Busy morning, and I finally set my MITs. I set the completed ones retroactively :). Does anybody else do that? Write things on your to-do list that you've already done, just so you can have the satisfaction of checking them off?
I never had a coffee break this am so I'm combining it with lunch and taking it now. I have the optional lunch and learn today, which I didn't have time to prepare for, but I'm attending anyway. After that, another quick break, then MIT #3.
Jo
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
Oh, yeah!
Does anybody else do that? Write things on your to-do list that you've
already done, just so you can have the satisfaction of checking them
off?
The Hero's Code:
Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.
yeah
I have learnt to. It gives a good sense of accomplishment. It is honest--and is the opposite of the bad habit of giving oneself impossible tasks and setting the world up to always feel overwhelmed.
Good! I'm glad I'm not the only one :)
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
wise chickadee!
<<<It is honest--and is the opposite of the bad habit of giving oneself impossible tasks and setting the world up to always feel overwhelmed.>>>
wow...what a good perspective. I have been trying to stay away from doing this (writing tasks after the fact and then checking them off!) because it felt sort of pathetic...which is that harsh self-critic again. I'm going to treat myself to a day of doing it your way instead...thanks!
I retroactively check off too :)
It does feel kind of pathetic, but satisfying at the same time, and as long as they are honest MITs that you have done, why not celebrate?
thanks Ag, I'm learning this too
I used to feel that. Now I am thinking more in terms of not: make myself get a million things done, but instead find the subtle change in attitude that makes the tasks light, so it is easy to go from one to the next.
Yes, I still struggle with avoidance and resistance big-time, but after a bad few afternoons this week, I realized that I needed to cherish my motivation and feel like the affirmation: I am a person who can get things done. I enjoy doing things. And boy, the done-list sure helps that more than the to-do list. (It all goes back to the divided will thingy...)
more wise quotes from chickadee
And boy, the done-list sure helps more than the to-do list.
Well said. Thanks.
Jo
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
wise chickadee and wise Ag!
"because it felt sort of pathetic...which is that harsh self-critic again"
That's so right! If it works for me, that should be all she wrote. It's that ego-centric, self-involved little person inside me that worries about this kind of stuff. Maybe someday I will learn to be confident in my decisions. Or maybe not. I can't decide :)
Jo
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
that reminds me of a joke
A young woman is getting ready for work one morning when she gets an obscene phone call. The caller whispers "What are you wearing?" After a long pause, she whispered back, "I can't decide."
Jo
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
LOL jo!
laughin at the joke
:D: ::lol::
--ha--more seriously, I was thinking that I should choose what I wear the night before so choosing doesn't take so much time in the morning. Ain't done it yet though.
humor
Hi!
I laugh at that joke, too :) Hee hee!
Comment: what I do is pre-pack 5 gym/work bags for the week ahead. What I will be wearing each day is already decided by what's in the bag. From Magellen's travel site, I got some mesh packing bags, and then I put 1 outfit in each bag. Done! ;)
(It would also work to hang up 5-7 outfits sequentially in order in the closet).
Talk to you later! :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
GeorgeSmiley 9 AM
This is going to be a challenging day again.
MIT #1: Project T-B
MIT#2: Plan out the day, accounting for some important non-work tasks.[added]
MIT
#2#3: Arrange art for Project VMIT
#3#4: Organize material for ongong Project PUpdate: 10:30 AM
Progress on Project T-B; taking a 15-minute break then resuming work on it.
The Hero's Code:
Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.
GS update 11:50 AM; and later updates.
MIT #1: Project T-B Almost finished; awaiting client input.MIT#2: Plan out the day, accounting for some important non-work tasks.[added]11:50 AM:
I've blocked out from noon until 3 for these non-work matters. At 3 I'll re-evaluate and see if I should set aside more time in the afternoon to follow up.
4:40 PM: Well, it took until 4. I've been home about 30 minutes and mostly checking email and trying unsuccessfully to burn a CD from choir practice for another member of the choir. Giving that up and turning to Project V-Art [MIT#3]
MIT
#2#3: Arrange artfor Project V5 PM: Emailed contact with specific requests for Art.MIT
#3#4: Organize material for ongong Project P6:15 PM: Completed that filing task! YAY!Update: 6:50 PM: Done for the day. amazing that I've gotten thru ALL my MITs I set for today!
The Hero's Code:
Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.
Good luck GS!
Rooting for you to get through your challenging day :)
THANK YOU! So far, so good...
The Hero's Code:
Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.
Journey 9:30
Good morning! It's already been a busy morning, came in to my boss questioning me about when I could get something done . . .and I was able to tell him it's already done!
Now off to a conference call. I'll report back in an hour or so with MITs set and email read . . . but I can say MIT #1 is done already.
Jo
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
CL unusual ci
this is a new one for me. I used my toolbox to get myself to do some slow, boring MITs at work.
then, i felt worse. go figure. Because i really didnt like it and didnt get anything out of it.
I have to post here just to make myself feel better about doing the right thing, so i'll have the motivation to keep going with my funner work.
weird.
(hey: i think i'm doing just what the cat says :) )
----------
http://www.procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1114#comment-23050
I get that
I have that same feeling sometimes, like today :( Where I just don't want to do anything I know I should do, like I am rebelling against myself, and if I do it I feel mad at myself for making me do it... that doesn't make any sense really though, lol.
Really really resistant to working on thesis today but know I will feel really bad if I don't, trying to break through the resistance but ATM in full-on internet surfing procrast mode.
clem: you did the right thing!
I feel the same way when I've spent a long time doing something required for work that I KNOW is really useless. I work in an industry that has lots of federal regulation so we have to do a lot of double and triple documentation that is really not needed. But it is a job requirement. Although I feel much more fulfilled when I've done some really hard technical task and succeeded, I know the boring administrative stuff is just as important to my bosses! It's sort of like folding laundry, it has to be done, but the laundry just gets dirty again. *sigh*
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
kromer 7:50 CI
I'm kind of freaking out, as I have a presentation that needs to be ready at 2:30 and that's not done at all...
I'm going to:
*Take a deep breath
*Remind myself that this is why I want to *stop* procrastinating
*Just do the best I can.
*Remember that even if the presentation goes badly I'm not going to flunk out of grad school.
I want to work out the equations for stem cell growth with two different growth rates. If I can't get it all the way worked out, then I just want to have a good start that I can talk about. I'm going to take a deep breath and start working on that in the chatbox.
kromer 9:05 CI
OK, I made some decent progress. Now I need to go to class. Then I'll skip recitation to work on this some more, which I think should give me enough time to finish.
(This isn't great, but it's the best solution for now...)
kromer 11:40--thanks, all!
Went to genetics class.
I'm panicking a bit now, so I'm bookending 5 min of listening to music to calm myself down, then I'll work on my presentation in the chatbox.
Thanks for all your encouragement, it really really helps :)
kromer 2:10 CI
Presentation prep is going reasonably well, so I think at least I won't embarrass myself.
I've been completely focused on this presentation prep, so here's a step back and an outline of what I want to accomplish at the presentation and after:
*give a clear presentation of my work so far
*meet other people involved in PT's research
*talk good notes about what's discussed at mtg
*Read 2 miRNA papers for class tomorrow (MIT)
*Read Nordling 1953 paper
*email about lab mtg
*email PJ and CV (MIT)
*call or email TH
*email DC (MIT)
*Download esr dataset
kromer 8:40
Presentation went OK (not perfect, but since I've been in the lab less than 2 weeks I think that's forgivable.) Then came home, had some dinner and took a break.
I'm going to let myself watch 15 min of the Colbert Report, then finish reading 1st miRNA paper.
congrats to kromer!
<<<Presentation went OK (not perfect...>>> Puhleez give yourself a break and a warm back-pat! Only 2 weeks to get results to present on? And, you pulled it together with some rigorous PA recovery techniques. That's admirable, dear friend! You work a good program, and I appreciate your contributions here.
{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} to Kromer and hope presentation went well!
And the good news is that once it's done you never have to think about it again!
Well done, kromer!
Not letting yourself get paralyzed by the pressure of the circumstances... We're behind you all the way...
The Hero's Code:
Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.
kromer chooses the best possible solution and continues on . . .
in spite of presentation anxiety!
YOU GO!
Jo
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
chickadee CI
Yesterday afternoon was not so good. Today I am going to post task by task, got an early start, so a break outdoors in the sun if I do the tough things.
-yucky ut done
-onto UT 2--that's done too now, plus some things that came up and had to be handled right away.
Onto UT 3--done now; handled lots of things that came up. Now a break.
Decide afternoon ITs and UTs-decided now on task
Okay, have been doing afternoon UT (required tomorrow) for a good while. I started work early early so I've been going for more than eight hours. I need another break, something to move around. I realize that it is unrealistic to expect myself to forge straight through for this amount of time, more than 8 hours, without a second break. Usually I would think that it's bad i can't just keep going like a machine. Today I say: I am allowed to take some time off and go back to the work.