Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Monday 14 July 2008
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Monday
a new day
a new week
a new start
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G - CI, 12pm Tuesday
Oh bugger.
12pm already? :P
What to do -
* Finish up project SB
* Do at least 3 units of project WL
Then... decide to do either - more WL project, or TS.
Also to decide - I forgot my Judogi this morning, so, do I go along anyway and borrow a uniform, which also means leaving work early when I'm behind on work, and afterwards, go visit a friend?
Or, do I stay at work later, and then maybe go visit friend, which gets the work done, and seems less stressful, but I probably really do need the exercise to relieve some stress & depression?
Or do I just sit around at work til 9-10, not actually getting any work done, and not actually see anyone, then go home an go to bed? :-(
D'oh!
Eh, being indecisive today, obviously.
G - CI ,1.35pm (1.57)
Actually started working.
Started with the tools for recovery. Broke up even little tasks into much littler tasks, the full 9 steps etc, so making progress. *phew*
Still not sure what to do when I'm so resistant, I even resist thinking about or breaking up the task.
Good or not, I'm skipping Judo this week.
I'll see if I can go for a jog in the park or something.
Also, I hope I'm not getting RSI. :(
Recycler CI 6pm EST
Hi Pro Buddies!
Today: elliptical, work, walked at lunch, after work took items to dumpster, surfed net.
Tonight: support group. I think my sponsor is out of town. Maybe buy groceries.
Have a great night, everyone! :)
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
Journey 12:45
Been working steadily on MIT #2 although I feel like I haven't made much progress. I'm feeling kinda down today, for no good reason, so it's easy to fall into negative self-talk. When I think about it, I realize I'm doing ok . . . Time for a lunch break!
"In our minds, we seek to be divine; but in our hearts, we know it's party time." - Rondo Bros in Aquarium Dreams
hang in there, jo
nm
Thanks Clem!
Back to work on MIT#2! I do feel more positive since I ate something!
"In our minds, we seek to be divine; but in our hearts, we know it's party time." - Rondo Bros in Aquarium Dreams
Rick's Monday Check In 8:08 am
It's 8 am and need to get working. I too am waiting for impending inspiration, but for good or bad its something that only I can create. I feel like Convalaria, and wanted to say I fell off several wagons on Sunday. But its MONDAY and I'm going to LOOK FORWARD to a new start!
MIT's
>Banking
>Mail Trip Invoices
>30 Client Tests
>Front Yard / S Clean
>Check Out Tonight
So far so good 6:35 pm
Having a good day so far. I just need to polish off some tasks. Getting my focus back.
Its funny how compulsive I can be. Maybe its the ADD, or maybe its an impulse disorder. Sometimes its an impulse to do the WRONG thing - the internet helps there. Other times its surrending to the impulse to do NOTHING AT ALL.
But today is good ... and I could get compulsive about the satisfaction of doing the right thing and finishing it!
Check Out 11 pm
Okay ... going to bed. Its was a good day.
DONE - Banking
NOPE - Mail Trip Invoices
NOPE - 30 Client Tests (BUT CLOSE)
DONE - Front Yard / S Clean
DONE - Check Out Tonight
Journey 10:30
Now I know why I just now read the thread starter - I've been posting on the wrong day! Doh!
MIT #2, here I come.
"In our minds, we seek to be divine; but in our hearts, we know it's party time." - Rondo Bros in Aquarium Dreams
thanks for the great thread starter convalaria!
I just now got around to actually reading it lolol
"In our minds, we seek to be divine; but in our hearts, we know it's party time." - Rondo Bros in Aquarium Dreams
8:39am ci for Lark, and 3:05pm, and 12:59am Tues.
Good morning everyone. I've been in a rut, sort of, but I thin I feel impending inspiration. Work is very disorganized, but there are a couple of part-timers willing to help a bit. I'm still holding on, though, trying control too much. Just need to get someone out here, and let 'em go.
I hope today is good for all of you.
Today:
(X)morning things
(X)spiritual time
(X)make work phone calls: JK, JS, 94
(X)call helper
finish next kitchen wall (doing very well, here)
(X)go to 12 step meeting
(X)do some laundry
call M about money owed
(X)make out list for customer
(X)return library book
(X)check in later
cl ci
wow, yesterday was hard. I never felt "good." But since i have come to accept step 1 i have come to accept that at times this is what life is like for me. So i kept doing things, even tho i felt like i was going to die all day long.
But a good night's sleep and i feel better now.
Now to attack my MIT at work.
cl 90% done, time to do something else--NOT
first, i spend an unbookended 15 min of forum time just now. that's not bad.
second, i've reached the 90% point on my MIT at work. Closure is now within reach.
So now it's time to to diverge into various dozens of other tasks that "i need to do."
Well, not today, folks. God grant me the courage to change the things i can.
This is going to be all the harder because a repairman is coming to the house. It's going to take a miracle. But, hey, i believe in miracles :)
Clem's closure
Yep, why is it so hard to follow though and finish up a task? Go for it, though!
Jo
"In our minds, we seek to be divine; but in our hearts, we know it's party time." - Rondo Bros in Aquarium Dreams
cl is closure-ing
well, it's going ok. Had to skate thru a sick to my stomach feeling once (am i really going to do to this?!) but since then it's been ok. I made a list of loose ends to clean up. And i started doing them. First i had to unclutter all the rest of the tasks hanging around. That was a bit stressful, but i boldly just put them all off trusting them to god.
repairman came and doesnt need me for much, so that was less interrupt-ful than expected.
Thank you higher power for strength today.
kromer 8:15 CI
Having a hard time getting going this morning.
Showered, dressed, had breakfast, then goofed off for an hour.
Now I need to tidy room + pack for the day, print + post jobs sheet, see if I can find some monopoly money, then head to work.
kromer Mon CO
Didn't manage to assign coregs to be activators or repressors...got too tired :-(
Finished the rest of my "must-dos", though, so it was an OK day.
kromer 10:30 CI
Did all of the above.
A piece of my bike was stolen and my boyfriend might have pneumonia, all and all not the most pleasant evening...
Now I'll back, it's going to be a bit of a late night. I need to finish my "must" list of tasks...finish checking EG ids (30 min), then assign coregulators to be activators or repressors (1 hr). Then I'll go do my house job (1 hr) and go to bed around 1.
kromer 5:25 CI
Submitted timesheet, prepped for harambee and emailed CV, more than halfway done checking EG ids.
Now I'm going to go to Harambee, call KG when I get there, get back around 8:30, call IA and AG, and check back in.
kromer 3:30 CI
Finished everything from 1:30 CI (30 min late, but that's not so bad)
I still feel like I have an overwhelming amount of work to do, but I'm going to take a deep breath and get through as much as I can.
I'm going to submit my timecard for last week, and then prep for Harambee activity and email CV. Then I'll start checking EG ids.
kromer 1:35 CI
Had mtg, then took a 15 min break.
Meeting went OK I think.
Now I'm going to take notes from meeting and make up a schedule for next week. I also need to do an unplanned task...checking correlation in STRING. Then I'm going to finish downloading datasets and check back in. Should be done with these things by 3.
kromer 9:20 CI
Did the above, cycled to work, checked email.
Today I have my weekly meeting with my advisor, which as usual I don't feel completely prepared for. So here's my plan for getting ready:
*
Email advisor to check that mtg is on (and also about fixing my computer)*
Spend 1 hr brainstorming about algorithm*Spend 2 hrs working on clustering, try to fix (1st approach: adding pseudocounts) Did 1 hr, found that problem is in scanning rather than clustering method, I'll fix later in the week. Instead I spend more time on algorithm and on looking at STRING
*
Take notes on mtg agenda, tentative plan for next weekAfter the meeting, here is my plan for the day:
MUST:
*
Take notes from mtg*
Make a schedule for next week*
Check EG ids*Assign coregulators to be activators or repressors
*
Finish downloading datasets*
Prep Harambee activity*
Go to Harambee*
Call IA and wish her happy birthday*
House job*
Submit timecardSHOULD:
*Post 2 expts
*Process 1 dataset
*
Call AG*Deal w/100 emails
*1 hr housing search
*
Call KG*
Email CVI'm going to start by emailing my advisor, then I'll work on clustering for an hour, then brainstorm, then work on clustering some more.
Edge's CI - 2:12pm
MITs:
- 7:00pm take laptop to get fixed
x call iepec
- talk with embassy lady
- work on notices
- create and send deliverables sched
- create and send worklog
- update cv
- prep swimming things for tomorrow
- send cv to:
-- Z
-- I
-- ice
Other:
x vitamin
x blue med
x fmed 1/2
x hmed 1/2
x kitty litter
x put away groceries
x dishes
x kitchen sink
- fmed 2/2
- hmed 2/2
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action - Walter Anderson
Convalaria still procrastinating and self sabotaging
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Monday 8.24pm
Upset.
Feeling hopeless.
Went to bed early last night.
Did not work on THE BACKLOG last night.
Did not work honestly this morning as time was tight and something had to be submitted by 8.30 am.
Wasted the time I had to work today.
Have had a conversation with and a email from the person in charge.
She does not sound sympathetic.
I have another hard deadline.
Tonight I am going to:
"""""""""
Caught in a web of prevarication and deceit due to procrastination
I had to look up PREVARICATION
pre·var·i·cate To stray from or evade the truth; equivocate.
-----------------
I came back to admit I just told someone on the phone that "the check is in the mail." I looked up the word based on your signature quote, and BAMM! I'm a liar! The check is NOT in the mail. Well now its on my MIT list. I don't want to live in that web either, nobody buys my bs anyway.
Let's work together to get out. The hard, even ugly part sometimes is the admission. I've lived in a cycle of shame and delay and avoidance.
I remember a Bible Story from way back where a man came to Jesus to heal his child. When asked if he believed, he said (something like) "Lord I believe, Help Thou my unbelief." I'm not a church goer, but still get the point of the story, the Jesus honored imperfect faith. I can do that, but I have to own my fear and lack of faith. Sometimes I think I'll be crushed by my "backlog" and have no hope. I'm not confident enough to say, "I'm gonna kick this thing." But I sure can't expect to have progress much less hope taking a nap in my pit of dispair.
Digging out together today.
hugs to convalaria
Hi there!
I know how you feel. Hugs.
On the good side, you are being honest with us, even if you haven't been able to discuss the truth with your supervisor.
You've made a "Step 5" to us.
http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/files/PA_Steps.html
And remember: You are not your mistakes. They are not your identity. Your mistakes are your behavior. But we love YOU.
more support for convalaria
man, i hate those boss conversations when they say "where's your stuff" and my answer is "i procrastinated." Not that i actually say that! Actually with current boss, i say that i had trouble focusing. But he's more understanding and supportive. With previous boss who was more "hard line" as you say, i would make up some excuse. And then we'd have a conversation about fixing that excuse. Man there's a waste of time!
Someone else was posting about it here, too http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/37 That person reported that they would claim that they already sent the email with the report and it must have gotten lost, which would buy them 24 hrs to throw something together so they could "resend" the email. We know how that person feels.
I know how you feel.
The only thing that works for me is the hope that if Higher Power has me, nothing truly bad can happen, even if i lose my job.
And thanks for your encouragement to me yesterday. Clearly your procrastination has not affected your ability to support another human being. i was encouraged.
Convalaria being supportive
And yes you were supportive to Rick on this thread:
http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1546
I am glad to see that you are still plugging away and ... that you haven't given up. .... and that you know there is "good stuff ahead".
Hint: When things get really stressed -- with deadlines, it's okay to stop posting supportive comments to others, and just focus on doing your own work. I learned this the hard way -- as my life was falling apart and I kept posting on another support forum, but did nothing for my own life's challenges. Now sometimes I have to ignore everyone on the support forums I belong to ... and just do my own work, which feels odd, but is sometimes necessary.
-
yeah, moving
i know exactly what you mean. Sometimes i come here and i just post my own stuff so i can get thru it. It seems selfish, but i do not believe it is. I believe it is god's will for me to complete tasks AND be involved in others' lives. I know myself and i know i have a tendency to emphasize either one over the other. I feel like it's a matter of balance, and if i can't get thru the normal tasks of the day, then that tells me that the emphasis for that day has to be in my own recovery and doing what i know i'm supposed to do that day. After all, people at work are counting on me to deliver what i've committed to, so how is meeting those expectations more selfish than reading/posting here?
Support for Convalaria
*Hugs* It's alright, Convalaria. We all find ourselves there. The best thing to do when you're stuck and can't seem to get any work done is to change the place you usually work. I.e. a change of scenery, if that's possible. Work on your backlog in a different setting aside from home or the office. That usually does it for me. It gets you focussed again.
Whatever happens, I'm thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts! You can do it, Con! It's all in our heads, this feeling of being "stuck". You can beat it :*
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action - Walter Anderson
Thank you all for the responses!!!
I did not touch my list yesterday.!
Played solitaire and went to bed!
It is Tuesday 8.48 am here.
Tuesday is another new day and another new start.
I have to spend time with mother from 9 till 10 am and then I am free to work on my own stuff till 12.45.
The plan:
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
10.26
Back from mothers...
My car emptied.
Medication taken
DO NOT WANT TO DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YUCK, YUCK, YUCK.....
HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT!
Now that I have that off my chest I better start and do my best.
Avoiding work related work by surfing and posting.
Feeling hopeless and helpless.
I have inadvertently created my life to be what it is and now I hate most of the results.
I feel stuck and scared to move forward.
I do not know how ro move forward.
Not true!
The first step is to get going with the work related work and to finish it by Friday morning 8.30am.
Demand resisitance is alive and kicking in me!
Steo 1
Finish the 3 or 4 year 11 projects and enter marks. Time required less than 1 hour.
The time is now 11.17
hugs C!
Congrats on starting your tasks (emptying car, taking mediciations), and my prayers and best wishes for you and your mother.
Maybe you could allow yourself some planned breaks? I've come to notice that non-procrastinators allow themselves breaks (particularly in the midst of stress, and you certainly have enough of that), rather than trying to work for hours at a stretch. Maybe if you planned to work for 45 min and then surf/post/play solitaire for 15 minutes or so, things might seem a little more manageable.
Wishing you a fantastic new-start Tuesday :-)
focus
MONDAY IS A NEW DAY!
Loving myself through sometimes
feeling of quicksand navigating through
the details of life!
I can do 3 things today---
1) bank deposit
2)grocery shopping
3) finish paperwork organizing
"TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY" SCARLETT O'HARA
hi again focus
like the new name. 'focus' That's what we pro-ers need.
You've obviously found our check-in forum and figured out how to post! Seems like you're doing fine.
I'm looking forward to seeing you around! And i am praying for your recovery.
thanks for the welcome, clement!
hey clement,
thanks for the welcome!
it is appreciated... i have figured out the
basics, just no colors...and fonts keep changing
on me...
follow-up
FOLLOW-UP
1) made bank deposit
2) did grocery shopping
3) did some laundry
4) made clothing donations
5) responded to a letter upon receipt
6) DIDN'T DO ANY PAPERWORK....
***TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY>>>>>