"The Now Habit" by Neil Fiore

I'm going to post interesting tidbits from this book as I read them...

The procrastination cycle: get overwhelmed, feel pressured, fear failure, try harder, work longer, feel resentful, lose motivation, procrastinate.

I don't know about any of you, but this sure describes me!

He notes that the cycle starts with "get overwhelmed", and this leads to his definition of procrastination. Instead of being a product of laziness or poor organization skills, he says:

Procrastination is a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision.

The solution, therefore, is to find alternative ways to deal with the anxiety!

I like this perspective on procrastination. I think it's helpful.

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Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.

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Chapter 1: Why We Procrastinate

Before we can change our behavior, we must identify our procrastination patterns. This points us to the right tools to use so we can change ourselves from procrastinators to producers.

* Warning Signs of Procrastination

1. Does life feel like a long series of obligations that cannot be met?
2. Are you unrealistic about time?
3. Are you vague abour goals and values?
4. Are you unfulfilled, frustrated, depressed?
5. Are you indecisive and afraid of making a mistake?
6. Are low self-esteem and lack of assertiveness holding you back from becoming productive?

If you can relate to most of these, you already know you have a problem. If only a few of these warning signs apply to you, you may be procrastinating in some parts of life but not in others.

Procrastination has real costs in life: Distress at missed deadlines, inferior work, constant anxiety, and deep regrets about missed opportunities.

* A Positive View of the Human Spirit

You do not procrastinate because you are lazy -- we all have areas where we devote ourselves and accomplish much. Sports, hobbies, reading, dancing, taking care of others, gardening -- we may do these things well and often and still call ourselves procrastinators.

If human nature can be so positive and so productive, then why do we procrastinate? We procrastinate to relieve deep inner fears, such as the fear of failure, the fear of being imperfect, and the fear of impossible expectations. These fears keep us from respecting who and what we are _now_.

Procrastination is an attempt to cope with the fear of having our self-worth held up for judgement. When we tie our self-worth to our work, we drive ourselves toward perfectionism, self-criticism, and fear.

* Our Worst Critic: Ourselves

We begin with the story of Clare, a woman who fears she might lose her new job. She feels overmatched, embarrassed, humiliated, anxious... and her procrastination has only been making it worse. She has serious fears that she won't measure up.

"As Clare spoke the words 'mediocre, just average,' a look of disgust crossed her face... at this moment she had become the judge and the critic." For as long as Clare could remember, she had always thought this way -- "you should be the best at everything you try; anything less is failure."

This training began in her early life. Parents may withhold praise "so it won't go to a child's head." This can leave the child feeling as if she isn't good enough -- there is no way to satisfy parents, teachers, and the rest of the world. The child learns that life and work are hard, there is no rest, and things will only get tougher.

"Her early training taught Clare that part of her was lazy and that this part would need discipline, pressure, and threats in order to do all the hard work that awaited her. She learned to take for granted that a judgmental and authoritarian part of her would have to push and threaten a lazy and childlike part."

Clare has learned that acceptance is conditional -- she learned that she could not please her parents and teachers without high performance, and she has internalized that lesson. Clare expects to be judged harshly, but she has not seen that she herself is the authoritarian judge. "Thus Clare learned to talk to herself, not as a loving partner, but as a threatening and parental judge."

* Procrastination is Rewarding

Yes, procrastination gets rewards. For Clare, procrastination lessened her fear of being judged. The more painful work is for us, the more we try to seek relief by procrastinating. Delay can lead to other rewards -- problems may go away, other people may do your postponed work, an item you've been procrastinating about buying may go on sale.

Procrastination is often seen as the problem, rather than a symptom of other problems. This approach often makes matters worse by blaming the procrastinator for choosing such a bad habit. When they see hesitation, supervisors and family members may add encouragement or pressure to get you going -- which only adds to the anxiety. This leads to a nasty cycle:

"Perfectionistic demands -> fear of failure -> PROCRASTINATION -> self-criticism -> anxiety and depression -> loss of confidence -> greater fear of failure -> stronger need to use PROCRASTINATION"

Procrastination does not start the pattern -- perfectionism or overwhelming demands lead to fear, which starts the ball rolling. The Now Habit program works to deal with those demands and those fears in order to overcome procrastination.

We can use procrastination in three main ways: as a way of resisting pressure from authorities, as a way of lessening fear of failure, and as a defense against fear of success. Which of these major reasons may reveal your own procrastination patterns?

-- Procrastination Can Express Resentment

"Pay the bills or go to jail, give up your vacation or lose your job. Procrastination in such situations reflects your resentment at the authority who placed you in this no-win dilemma." As a powerless victim, you can't openly rebel, but procrastination can help you temporarily dethrone this authority.

Larry had grown bitter about the younger people who were being promoted over him. He knew he couldn't express his feelings directly at his manager, and he felt stuck in his job. Larry began to procrastinate, ignoring requests from his manager for reports, or "forgetting" things.

Larry still believed in his ability to do his job well, but he saw that his behavior was confirming the negative opinion his manager had of him. Changing Larry's self-talk and highlighting empowering choices helped change Larry's attitude. Larry and his manager would never be friends, but they didn't have to be enemies.

Larry adopted the attitude that he should help his boss look good, not get in his way. With more positive self-talk and some initiative, Larry let go of his resentment about where he thought he should be in the company, and he is now one of his manager's most trusted employees. Larry no longer feels like a victim.

-- Procrastination Can Defend Against Fear of Failure

Perfectionism and salf-criticism are the chief causes of fear of failure. Perfectionists are more sensitive to to failure because being "average" is tantamount to being a failure. Tying your sense of self-worth to one part of your life leads to stress and procrastination.

Gaining a sense of identity from many areas helps spread your self-worth around and lessen the burden. "A professional tennis player is more likely to be upset by losing a match than is an amateur player for whom tennis is only one of many activities in the week."

"Elaine was raised in a family of intense, high-energy, high achievers." Performance anxiety and procrastination were making her life miserable. She felt as if she were in a fishbowl, with all eyes critically examining her performance.

When Elaine was first asked about her innate sense of self-worth, she was confused. "How can self-worth be innate? Where will it come from if it doesn't come from what I do?" She felt that people less capable than herself deserved respect, but she could not be as generous with herself.

To overcome procrastination, Elaine had to learn to remind herself of her worth and forgive herself for not being perfect when she made mistakes.

-- Procrastination Can Keep You from Facing Your Fear of Success

Fear of success centers of three issues:

1. Conflict over the choice between advancement and friends.
2. Continued success may lead to future disincentives, like moving to a new city or looking for a new job.
3. Success means advancement to positions with even tougher demands.

Conflict
Procrastination may be an attempt to walk a middle ground between the two choices... but it can lead to resenting both types of behavior. Facing the real effects and benefits of success can help you make decisions quickly.

Disincentives
Reluctance to leave the familiar for the unknown can lead to stagnation. Fear of making a mistake by moving on can be reduced by seeing that there are always other options in case of a mistake, which reduces the risk. Here also, reducing self-criticism in case of a mistake is important.

Delayed Fear of Failure
Procrastination can keep you from succeeding now, so you won't have to face tougher future demands. To overcome procrastination in this case, we need to reduce the pain associated with work, increase rewards of work and play, and take control of reducing tension.

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Chapter 3: How to Talk to Yourself

"The self-talk of procrastinators often unconsciously suggests and reinforces feelings of victimhood, burden, and resistance to authority." Changing self-talk can change attitudes, and those new, better attitudes can be more productive and more appropriate for your place in life.

* Counterproductive Messages

Typical self-talk like "I should do it" or "I have to" reinforces the idea that we don't _want_ to do these things, and we have to be forced to do them. This only highlights our inner conflict and self-alienation. Instead, we can learn new ways to talk and think to ourselves that point the way to things we want to do and choose to do. We can take back the power we have given to the authoritarian voice in our heads.

- The "Have To's" -- Messages of Stress

The "have to" message creates the image of a helpless victim. We tell ourselves we don't want to do it, but we have do. We're being forced to do it against our will, or else something bad will happen. It's a no-win situation: do it and go against ourselves, or don't do it and be punished.
This damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't feeling leaves us stuck, ambivalent and conflicted. We tell ourselves we have no choice, and we resent it.

"Of all the characteristics that separate producers from procrastinators, none is more liberating than the producer's focus on 'choice' and 'choosing.'"
Betty was very competent as an administrator for an insurance company, but she hated doing the annual report. She would procrastinate, lose sleep, complain, and lose sleep. When the annual report was due, there was no freedom or fun for her.

Dr. Fiore gave her an instruction in her first session: "Every 'I have to' needs to be replaced with an adult decision about how you will begin the project or how you will explain to your boss that you will not do it." The next day, she chose to work on a part of the report she hated least, and she asked her boss for help on the more difficult parts. "She also promised herself that if she _chose_ to do this report it would be her last."

She gave herself more options, she stood up for herself, and she no longer feels a need to procrastinate. She is in charge of her own life, and with her new language of choice she copes with work pressures much better.

- The "Should's" -- Messages of Depression

"_Should_ for procrastinators has lost its original meaning: 'I dislike the way things are, and I'm going to do something about it.' Instead it has come to mean 'I'm angry and disappointed about the way things are (that is, different than they should be), and I'm going to complain and feel badly.'"
These "should" messages build up a negative message. "I'm bad. Where I am is bad. Life is bad. My level of progress is bad. Nothing is the way it should be." This message only brings up feelings of burden, victimhood, and failure.

"Have to" and "should" messages are not empowering -- they do not produce pictures of what you choose to do, when you choose to do it, and where you choose to start it.

Paul was an art dealer. He loved art, but he hated the detail of the management side of the business. He always had plenty of "shoulds" to make himself feel bad: "I should've kept better records; I should have started earlier; I should be putting more energy into promotion."

Dr. Fiore worked on interrupting Paul's patterns of depressive self-talk. Missed opportunities are in the past, and there's nothing to do about that -- what can I do now? When is the next time I can start working toward my goals?

"By talking to himself in ways that disrupted his old patterns, Paul became very efficient in diverting self-criticism and depression about the impossible toward something constructive that he could accomplish."

* The Power of Choice

Dr. Fiore tells a story about his first parachute jump, as a member of the 101st Airborne. Many of the soldiers on their first jump were tense, hesitant, or fearful about the task of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane at 150 miles per hour.

"Even though I hadn't totally chosen to be in such a crazy situation and my choices were rotten ones, I knew that I was _not_ going to be kicked out of that plane. 'One way or the other,' I told myself, 'if I'm going to leave this plane, it will be under my own power. I'm going to maximize my chances of a safe exit.' The change in my feelings at that moment was quite dramatic. Stress was replaced with purposeful action; a sense of victimhood was transformed into empowerment."
Changing "have to" into a choice is empowering, and he never forgot that lesson.

- From Resistance to Commitment

Dieters and smokers often change from resistance to commitment when faced with a life-threatening situation or with pregnancy. "When Gina got pregnant, 'Out went cigarettes and junk food. In came breakfast. Her usual lunch of cashews and a Diet Pepsi was replaced by a sandwich and a glass of milk.' She now _wanted_ to eat right. It was her personal commitment, her choice, not simply an externally imposed 'should.'

"You don't have to jump out of airplanes, get sick, or become pregnant to experience this powerful change in perspective." The power of choice can redirect all the energy blocked by resistance and victimhood toward constructive effort.
You don't have to _want_ to do things, or love doing them. You just have to choose to do them and commit to them. "I _am going_ to the store; I _will be_ at the dentist's at 3:00pm; I _am going_ to traffic court this morning." You might as well make your chosen tasks as pleasant as possible.
And when you find yourself losing motivation, look for the hidden "have to" and make a decision. Choose to embrace your path or let it go. It _is_ your choice.

- Learning How to Say No
"Saying no is an important practice for procrastinators. It lessens the likelihood that you'll rush into a task in order to make up for a perceived lack of worth. A direct and maturely stated 'No' clears the air much more quickly than a passive 'Yes, I guess I have to' that you then resent and rebel against by procrastinating."

Saying no means choosing and committing to alternatives. Developing self-statements that encourage these things is a necessary step toward having more possibilities in working on tasks and becoming a producer. The power to commit to doing something comes with the power to say no as well.

* Five Self-Statements that Distinguish Procrastinators from Producers
1. Negative thinking of "I have to."
"I have to" brings a sense of ambivalence and victimization.
-- Replace "I have to" with "I choose to."
2. Negative thinking of "I must finish."
Focus on finishing makes tasks seem even more overwhelming.
-- Replace "I must finish" with "When can I start?"
3. Negative thinking of "This is so big."
Here's some more overwhelming. Rome wasn't built in a day.
-- Replace "This is so big" with "I can take one small step."
4. Negative thinking of "I must be perfect."
Perfectionism only breeds self-criticism.
-- Replace "I must be perfect" with "I can be human."
5. Negative thinking of "I don't have time to play."
This statement creates resentment about work and guilt about play.
-- Replace "I don't have time to play" with "I must take time to play."
"The counterproductive self-statements of the procrastinator join together into 'I have to finish something big and do it perfectly while working hard for long periods of time without play.' What you need to do is to challenge and reprogram that confusing and counterproductive statement with the powerful focus of a producer: 'I choose to start on one small imperfect step knowing I have plenty of time for play.'"
Each time you replace the procrastinator's self-talk with the producer's self-talk, you take a small step toward unlearning procrastination. Repetition strengthens the associations and helps build the new habits of a producer.

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Chapter 5: Overcoming Blocks to Action

If you've ever suffered pain from harsh criticism, or if you've been humiliated by not being able to solve a problem others found easy, you may have developed a phobic response to some kinds of work. To cope with these blocks to action, you need alternatives to procrastination's addictive and counterproductive behaviors.

"By using the tools provided in this chapter -- three-dimensional thinking, the work of worrying, and persistent starting -- and by providing yourself with a safety net and positive self-talk, you can approach feared tasks in small, do-able steps." And each time you choose action over procrastination, you will be helping yourself to unlearn your old habits.

* Three Major Blocks "The three major fears that block action and create procrastination are the terror of being overwhelmed, the fear of failure, and the fear of finishing. These three blocks usually interact with each other and escalate any initial fears and stresses. Overcoming any one of the three quickens the destruction of the remaining blocks because you build confidence as you face and live through any fear." To overcome these three fears, the Now Habit uses three methods: - against the fear of being overwhelmed: three-dimensional thinking and the reverse calendar - against the fear of failure: the work of worrying - against the fear of finishing: persistent starting

Tool #1: Three-Dimensional Thinking

Often, when we consider any large task or project, we create a "two-dimensional" picture of the work, telescoping all the stages of the project together as if we have to work on it all simultaneously. This clearly leads to a feeling of being overwhelmed and anxious. Applying three-dimensional thinking, you should be able to see that there are multiple adequate starting points on the project -- your path through the work is not set in stone from any particular starting point, and you can switch to work on other parts as progress develops.

You do not have to be supremely competent at all the necessary work in order to complete the project, because there is time to learn and develop the needed competencies and skills as the project continues. And you should see that the project is not an all-or-nothing thing -- making the transition between the start and your picture of an ideal finish is not a single step.

The Reverse Calendar When you take the three-dimensional view, you see the project as a whole and direct your effort toward breaking the project into smaller, more manageable parts. When you do this, you also diffuse the effort, energy, and anxiety attached to the project.

"Now, instead of facing a large, looming, impossible task, you're facing only small units that you can see yourself accomplishing." This is the reverse calendar -- taking these smaller parts and setting smaller deadlines, under your control. Setting those deadlines gives you some control over your work and allows you to create breathing room between each step. Smaller pieces lead to less stress and anxiety, and allow you to focus your abilities on those pieces, not on the whole project at once.

"The reverse calendar starts with the ultimate deadline for your project and then moves back, step by step, to the present where you can focus your energy on starting. ... You'll want a reverse calendar to see what you can tackle right now, what you can delegate, and when you'll have a chance to catch your breath." Instead of facing a single imposed deadline, you now have control of all the individual milestones on the way to completing your project. And if you have multiple projects organized this way, you can see in advance where you may have scheduling difficulties.

Tool #2: The Work of Worrying

Worrying can be useful. Yes, really. Most counterproductive worrying, however, is like screaming "Danger!" without coming up with any ideas of what to do to escape the threat. "You've left out the positive 'work of worrying' -- developing an action plan." Procrastination stalls action and piles up more worries -- it is not an effective way of dealing with the worrying in the first place.

"Breaking through this block to action requires that you go beyond just scaring yourself with images of potential catastrophes. You want to do the work of worrying to direct the energy of worry and panic into plans to remove the threat."

Judith grew up in a family where individual progess was rarely praised unless it compared well with what others were doing. She was pressured to be the _best_, no matter what she was trying to do. Now, in an insurance company, it did not surprise her to find that her boss was similarly scarce with praise. From his point of view, her motivation should come from her salary, along with the pressure and threats he supplied. Her constant fear of being criticized or fired led to procrastination.

Judith was not a poor worker, but the pressure and her fear of failure began to block her ability to work. Procrastination became a way to express to escape her job and express her resentment. Judith began to consider "what if the worst happened." What if she were fired? She relalized thet even though it would be embarrassing, she could face it -- and in some ways it would be a relief.

"Having faced the worst that could happen -- being fired -- Judith had prepared herself with safety nets of compassionate self-talk and concrete alternatives that would help her cope while looking for a new job."

The work of worrying involves six steps that face fears and create safety.
1. What is the worst that could happen?
2. What would I do if the worst really happened?
3. How would I lessen the pain and get on with as much happiness as possible if the worst did occur?
4. What alternatives would I have?
5. What can I do now to lessen the probability of this dreaded event occuring?
6. Is there anything I can do now to increase my chances of achieving my goal? "By using the work of worrying, creating safety, and using the language of the producer, you are establishing skills for maintaining genuine self-confidence. ...

True confidence is the ability to say, 'I am prepared for the worst, now I can focus on the work that will lead to the best.'"

* Tool #3: Persistent Starting

Many procrastinators can get started, but their feelings and attitudes can still create blocks to finishing. Procrastination on finishing takes more effort than actually finishing, and it lacks the satisfaction of getting something completed and making room for new opportunities.

Laura was a strong starter in every aspect of her life, but she was having trouble finishing a research project that would complete her master's degree. Her eventual attitude change was brought home by her commitment to guilt-free play -- her commitment to training for a marathon. She prepared for months to run her first marathon, but she had never learned how to complete the last six to eight miles, when most people "hit the wall."

Deep into her marathon, after nineteen miles of running, she felt the pain of her body screaming for nutrients -- she had hit her wall. "But before she could think about quitting, she found herself saying something that later helped her get beyond procrastination and on to finishing her research project: 'I'm in pain. It hurts to run and it hurts to just stand here. It hurts to walk and it would hurt to lie down. Regardless of what I do, it hurts, so I might as well run and get it over with as soon as possible.'

" Procrastinating on finishing requires work, and finishing requires work -- there is no escape from some sort of work. Why not take on the work that will reap benefits? Laura identified her tendency to give up just as her efforts neared completion -- the time when she would be judged. She was able to link this tendency to her negative self-statements and challenge them, directing her efforts toward finishing. Learn to anticipate negative self-statements like these:

"I need to do more preparation before I can start." "At this rate I'll never finish." "I should have started earlier." "There's only more work after this." "I'm trying, but tt's not working." "I only need a little more time."

- Keep On Starting

All large tasks are essentially completed in a series of starts. Use your recognition of negative self-talk and your strategies to overcome the blocks to action to conquer your fears of being overwhelmed, of failure, and of finishing.

"Keep on starting, and finishing will take care of itself."

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Chapter 7: Working in the Flow State

Being in a creative state of mind can help reduce the burden of work, and so can help reduce the fear and anxiety that trigger procrastination. We all experience different shifts of consciousness and states of mind during the day, but what if we could cause ourselves to work in our most productive, creative, stress-free state whenever we wished?

"You can learn methods to reach this state and thus work at genius or near-genius level. This technique, which I call 'working in the flow state,' will teach you to more readily shift levels of consciousness and brain function so that you can work with greater energy, enthusiasm, and efficiency."

"Characteristics of the flow state include calm, focused energy; time expansion; delight at new ideas; ease of avoiding or solving problems; and enhanced concentration.... Peak performers in sports, music, medicine, and business have these experiences when they are fully absorbed with almost effortless attention in a challenging task."

This is the same flow state described by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in his famous book "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience."

I haven't read the book... and I can't believe I spelled his name right. :)

* Using More of Your Brain Is your critical mind getting in the way of your creative side? Do you hear yourself saying: - "But is this the right direction?" - "Will it be good enough?" - "What if the boss/teacher/audience isn't happy with it?" - "Can I do it?" - "I have to finish soon." - "When will I ever learn to start earlier?" - "There's so much to do."

This critical, left-brain function must be temporarily suspended to leave your creative right-brain abilities free to work at their best. Let the right brain run free for a while, and then you can use your left brain to organize and evaluate the ideas the right brain generated for you.

"Trying to cram all the emotion and experience of a spontaneous creative idea into a linear form is one of the major causes of 'creative blocks' and procrastination. That's why it's important to know how to use more of your brain and how to shift into the flow state."

* It's Only Your First Draft No great work springs fully formed from the brow of genius. Even the most gifted writers and artists struggle with early drafts and sketches before returning to them and polishing them into a more finished form.

Generating these unorganized, seemingly random ideas is important to the _process_ of developing and creating the finished product. By seeing and understanding this, we can accept it and move more quickly into using our own creative side to get us started and defuse the thoughts that lead us to procrastinate.

* Learning to Focus "_Focusing_ is a two-minute procedure for shifting rapidliy to the flow state by replacing guilt and stress with a stress-free focus on the present." Deep relaxation helps performance, for ordinary people like you and me and for Olympic athletes.

The focusing exercise is just two minutes long, so you can use it during your day to help get you back on the right path to relaxation and creativity. Using this exercise at your desk will associate relaxation with your work, and it will help lead you past pressure and worry and into the flow state.

"This focusing exercise also serves as a good example of the reassuring, present-focused self-talk of the producer."

* Focusing Exercise I'm not sure how best to summarize this. It's a relaxation (maybe self-hypnosis) exercise, so it's fairly detailed about what to think about. Here's my attempt at a short version... Sit upright in your chair, feet flat on the floor, hands on thighs. Breathe deeply and slowly, letting go of tension and drifting to a different level of mind. Focus on different parts of your body, releasing muscle tension and letting the chair support you. Keep breathing and exhaling tension as you go. Notice that your eyelids are becoming heavy. As you let your eyes drift closed, allow relaxation to flow over your whole body. - Let go of the past.

"With your next three slow, deep breaths, tell yourself to let go of all thoughts and images about work from the past." Let go of it all... - Let go of the future.

"And with your next three slow, deep breaths, let go of what you anticipate happening in the 'future' -- a constructed concept of a time that really doesn't exist." - Centering in the present.

"With your next three slow, deep breaths, notice -- just notice -- that it really doesn't take much energy to just _be_ in the present." Now you can find yourself at a deep level of relaxation where you can give yourself any positive suggestion you wish. "With your next three slow, deep breaths, you can begin to link the power of the right and left hemispheres of your brina, reaching the flow state under your conscious control." Here, Dr. Fiore offers specific conclusions to deal with specific issues. One is for starting and getting focused on work, one is for getting unstuck, and one is for relieving fear in social situations.

* Relaxation Exercise This exercise is 12 to 15 minutes long, and is a good preparation for the focusing exercise. Again, this summary may be terribly inadequate. Much like the focusing exercise, we begin seated in a chair, relaxing through slow, deep breaths.

The text Dr. Fiore gives to repeat to yourself in this relaxed state focuses on feeling quiet, calm, and comfortable, to reach deep relaxation, ease, and serenity.

* Incorporating Flow States into Your Program "The flow state provides a magical bridge from anxiety into tranquillity and safety by teaching you how to rapidly shift your brain's survival functions to its creative functions. You know how to give yourself clear, resolute statements such as 'I will be at my desk at 3:00 p.m. for thirty quality minutes, with great curiosity and interest'....
"These statements combine the three elements of effective work imagery (when, where, and on what you will start) and imply _choice_, _safety_, and _starting_.

"The fourth step necessary to complete the process and tap into the power of working in the flow state is one we discussed earlier in this chapter -- _focusing_.

" Relaxation and focusing give you the opportunity to take a breather, recharge, and evaluate your progress. It give you time to push aside fears and worries and remind yourself that things don't all have to be done at once. By linking these periods of calm with periods of quality work, you can control your anxiety, deal with setbacks, and become a producer

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Chapter 9: The Procrastinator in Your Life

All of us must deal with procrastinators -- in life, in work, in anything. If we do not understand the causes and patterns of procrastination, we run the risk of reinforcing those causes and patterns.

* Managing People who Procrastinate

To effectively manage procratinators, you must help lead them toward the things that help -- choice, safety, and acknowledgement for what they do. Avoid the critical talk that procrastinators are so familiar with.

Remember that the self-talk of the procrastinator is much like "I _have to finish_ something _important_ and do it _perfectly_ while enduring long periods of _isolation_ from the people and things I love." Managers should be aware of this and avoid making similar statements themselves.

"The abililty to communicate in the language, images, and emotions that evoke understanding, inspiration, and direction in the governed is the hallmark of effective leadership. The effective manager, coach, or leader can empathize with the various learning styles and emotional perspectives of the governed."

To work with procrastinators, remember the three things that are at the root of most procrastination:
- Feelings of victimhood. Seek commitment, rather than compliance.
- Feeling overwhelmed. Focus on manageable objectives.
- Fear of failure. Praise steps taken in the right direction.

* Commitment vs. Compliance

Demands for compliance include statements like:
- "You'd better have it finished by noon."
- "You have to get here on time, or else.
- "You should do it exactly as I showed you."
- "I'm in charge, so just do as your told."

These messages reinforce the feelings of victimhood and powerlessness that lead to procrastination. Giving employees ways to express their power and have control over their work is a more motivating and more productive way to manage.

Invitations for commitment include statements like:
- "What can you get to me in rough form by noon?"
- "I've placed you in a responsible position, and I'm depending on you to be here at nine o'clock."
- We need to be able to trust each other's work, so I need you to follow the guidelines precisely. Let me know if you have any problems with them."
- "I have responsibility for this unit, but there are things I don't see -- blind spots in my way of working -- so I need your help in keeping me informed if I miss some things."

* Focusing on Starting vs. Finishing

An emphasis on finishing leads to statements like:
- "When will you finish this project?"
- "You've got to complete this by Friday."
- "There's a lot to get done."
- "Remember, that deadline is only two months away."

Statements like these only help the procrastinator feel more overwhelmed. They also focus on the goal instead of on a starting point. Good managers understand that getting started can be half the battle, and so they help to pick a piece and get started.

To be clear about where to start, try:
- "When can you start on a very rough draft?"
- "I need this by next Friday. Plan to have a rough sketch to me in time for our meeting on Tuesday at ten o'clock so we can go over it together."
- "Would you draw up a rough agenda of the necessary steps for closing the Jones account, and have it for me by three o'clock? Then we can set a realistic time frame for its completion."
- "If we're going to meet that deadline of two months on the Smith case, I'll need to see at least an outline by Friday. Do you need someone to take over your responsibilities while you get started?"

These questions help to focus on defined starting points, while giving the chance to make sure the task has been understood.

* Getting Results or Giving Criticism

Criticism leads to statements like:
- "You can't do it right, what's wrong with you?"
- "This report is totally off the point. You'll never get it done this way."
- "That's just like you, you're always late."
- "You really screwed up this time."

Personal attacks and broad criticism do not point the way toward any improvement. Managers are not responsible for employees' insecurities, but people learn faster in environments where praise is abundant and criticism is constructive and focused.

Praise can sound like:
- "I really liked what you did with the Jones account."
- "The write-up was clear and concise."
- "You maintained good follow-through on the phone with Mr. Jones."
- "You did a good job handling the customer service problems."

Does someone need improvement? Try something like:
- "I really liked what you did with the Jones account. And I think you can achieve even better results -- and avoid some tension on your next project -- if you follow the usual deadlines for informing the central office."
- "Your write-up was terrific. It was clear, concise, and on target. With some minor work on the last section, it will be excellent."
- "You maintained good follow-through on the phone with Mr. Jones. And I'd like you to really cement that contact by a personal visit to his plant. Next time when you're assigned a new account, set up a site visit as soon as possible."
- "You did a good job handling the customer service problems, and I'd like to see if more can be done to prevent those complaints."

The point of combining praise with constructive recommendations is to identify which actions are correct and which need some improvement, without causing extra stress. When recognition comes first, it relieves the fear of failure that comes with mistakes.

Here are some more guidelines to help managers avoid actions that contribute to procrastination.

-- State Your Priorities Clearly: Let your staff know which work is priority work, and stick to those priorities. Reduce the use of emergencies. When real emergencies arise, distribute them among your employees and give them relief from their other assignments.

-- Be Decisive: When you make decisions, stick with them. Making employees repeat work only wastes effort and encourages procrastination. If you aren't sure which work should be done, involve your staff in your decision making process. Let them help draft plans, to help choose the best option.

-- Be Fair and Frequent in Your Rewards: Even small acknowledgements help people feel motivated. Break projects down into smaller subgoals and tasks to keep achievement flowing and provide changes to offer rewards and direction. Use scheduled meetings to reward progress and offer constructive feedback.

-- Give Constructive Feedback: Keep feedback focused on what needs to be done to make corrections, achieve the goal, and prevent future errors. Goals and communication are team efforts, and failures are shared as well.

* Living with a Procrastinator

Procrastination can lead to relationship problems. No one wants to be nagged, and no one wants to be pushed into the position of nagging. Adding pressure by nagging does not help the underlying causes of procrastination.

Using three-dimensional thinking and the reverse calendar can help set realistic goals and timelines which give the procrastinator an image of what needs to be done.

"Blaming the procrastinator is both ineffective and inappropriate." Instead, confess to being a little neurotic about being on time -- you're human, you're imperfect, and you want control so much that you use a reverse calendar approach to getting things done on time. "'I'm not as good as you are with all the excitement of last-minute preparations,' you might add. Now that you've gotten their attention, you can honestly ask for their understanding and cooperation in helping you keep your anxiety under control."

Become more interested in results than in control. Avoid blame and the nagging trap, learn to respect the other's values while making your needs known, and use the Now Habit strategies as a model for communication. Even if the procrastinators in your life never read the book, you can "model for them the quality work and guilt-free play of the producer."